Posted: August 2003
Author: Iamme

*********

Elrond sighed as he walked into the healing room. Erestor was still holding Elladan, watching him breath. His eyes had a haunted look, as if he were a child afraid of the monster under the bed. Elrond walked over to pick up the sleeping elfling. It was still early and Ithil still graced the sky, giving the room an ethereal glow.

“You could have rang and we would have taken him to bed.” Erestor nodded, looking up at his friend.

Erestor waited for Elrond to remove Elladan from his arms, so he could shift to a more comfortable position.

“You know Elrond, I don’t remember much but I do remember wondering if I would ever see them again.”

Elrond nodded, silently understanding that Erestor had needed the comfort as much as his son did, even if he would never admit it.

“We were all worried about you, especially Elladan.”

Erestor nodded silently.

“You should take him now; I don’t want him to see me in the throes of a nightmare.”

Elrond carried his son for the door, pausing to glance back at his friend. He was curled up in a ball, his hands wrapped tightly around himself as he struggled to close out the world.

“I can come back and we can talk, if you’d like.”

Erestor shook his head before hiding in his pillow.

Elrond carried the sleeping elfling to the room he shared with Elrohir and was let in by the guard posted at the door. As he walked in, he could see Glorfindel propped up in the chair sleeping as another guard was watching out the window. Elrond nodded silently to the guard as he lay his son down in bed and covered him up, kissing him on the forehead, before walking over to the guard.

“Anything?”

The guard shook his head.

"Tis a shame that they have to live in such danger.”

Elrond nodded. “I thought about sending them to Valinor. At least there, they would be safe.”

“M’lord, know that we will follow you wherever you lead us until the last of us stand. We would give our lives for you and your family.”

Elrond nodded, proud of the elves under him.

“I have never doubted your loyal or the loyalty of my troops. But these Elves we are fighting … they are not honorable. They will find a way to twist a good elf into something that they are not.”

The guard merely nodded and turned back to the window and Elrond turned, leaving the room heading back to the healing wing, wondering as he went, how they might use Erestor against him. He felt foolish to worry about his friend betraying them, but then again, he might not have a choice if they had truly done something to him. He would have to keep a close eye on his friend for quite a while.

The darkness, it was all around, inescapable, the confined of the metal prison to tight, not even enough room to sit up straight. The stale air chokingly hot. Hot tears soaked up by bloodied cloth tied too tightly between a broken jaw. Bound hands shaking with the weight of a body pressed against shattered bones. Chilled to the bone from cold steel pressed against naked flesh. Sweat dripped from his brow in a cold wash, falling in to eyes that were reddened from lack of sleep. His world swam as the smooth voice filled his ears, as casual as if they were discussing a well-played game of chess.

“Tell me, Erestor, give me the answers I seek and your pain will be less. Then I will not have to break you.”

Then they were dragging him out, hands holding him down as he tried to fight them, even knowing he would lose he would not give in, he could not.
He just wanted it not to be real, not to have to be here another moment. Silently he pleaded with the Valar to take him from this hell.

Erestor bolted up in the bed, sweat dripping down his body, soaking the sheets. Looking around the room realizing that he was in a bed, in the healing wing of the Last Homely House. The Valar had answered his prayer; he was safe, but why did he feel so guilty? Erestor wiped the sweat from his face before letting himself fall back against the soft pillows.

“Just a dream… it’s not real, not anymore.” Even as the words left his lips, he knew it was a lie. It was worse than real; it was memory, a memory that only seemed to surface when he was asleep, and even now, was fading in to the recesses of his subconscious, leaving only the lingering feelings to haunt him. The only things left by the time Elrond walked in the door were the feelings of guilt that he somehow felt he had betrayed everyone and that even now, he wasn’t alone, he could feel a presence riding him, but he refused to admit to himself that such a thing were possible.

Elrond hated seeing Erestor in such torment. He wanted to help but there was nothing he could do, it was all up to the Valar and the progression of time. He pulled up a chair next to the bed, looking down at the once proud and slightly arrogant elf reduced to the haunting figure before him. Elrond frowned seeing the still blood shot eyes.

“Would you like something to help you sleep now?”

Erestor shook his head. “No, I don’t want to sleep.”

Elrond nodded, “Would you like to talk?”

Erestor looked down his hands, starting to play with the comforter.

“I cannot talk about what I cannot remember.”

Elrond nodded again “I understand. When you are ready to speak about what you do remember, I will be here to listen.”

“You are a good friend, Master Elrond.”

Erestor looked up, fear playing in his eyes of what he so needed to say, to tell his friend that he did not trust himself to be his advisor any longer. He tried to speak the words to ask him to remove him but what came out was, “I wish to get back to work as soon as I am able, Elrond. I need to have my life back in order.”

Cold fear curled in his stomach, hoping that Elrond would be wise enough to remove him from his position before whatever was happening to him caused too much damage.

Elrond frowned, looking in to the eyes of his friend.

“I was hoping to wait to speak with you on this but since you brought it up… I am afraid I am going to have to remove you from your position, my friend, although I would like you to continue to tutor my sons. It is not that I do not trust you, Erestor; I don’t want you to think that, but they could have done something to you. Your loss of memory has me worried. It could be a defense mechanism but then it may very well be something else.”

Erestor felt hurt and yet relieved all at the same time.

“I understand, I would do the same thing were I in your situation, Elrond. Do not worry that I will be angry.”

Elrond gave Erestor a hopeful smile

“I know you don’t want to sleep, but you need it. I am going to give you something that should induce a dreamless sleep. It does not work for everyone but we need to try.”

Erestor started to argue but was silence quickly with a look from Elrond.
“I order it as your healer, there is no room for argument.” Erestor silently relented watching as Elrond busied himself with making the concoction. It consisted of three parts. Elrond handed him the first. It was a thick purple syrup. He took it eyeing it for a moment before swallowing it down in a gulp. It left a bitter taste in his mouth as it slid down and before long he felt as if he were floating. Amazingly, for the first time since he awoke, he was not being plagued by feelings of guilt or any of the intense pain he was becoming accustomed to.

He was unaware how long he lay there pondering over the beauty of the intricately carved ceiling before Elrond sat next to him holding a cloth and another vial. He lifted his head and held the vial to his lips helping him swallow it.

Erestor almost choked on the moss green liquid.

“That was foul!”

“That will keep you from feeling nauseous when you wake. Now this will smell most foul but I need you to breath deeply nonetheless.”

“Why is everything you healers use either foul tasting or putrid smelling.” complained Erestor.

Elrond’s reply was simply to press the cloth over Erestor’s mouth and nose.

Erestor actually flinched from the smell. There was nothing to compare it to, the Peredhel had definitely understated the smell.

“Breath as deeply as possible, Erestor. It will not take long.”

Erestor did as Elrond bid and he soon found himself slipping in to darkness, finally at peace. Elrond pulled the cloth away and set it aside, laying the sleeping elf back on to the pillow. He would have one of the apprentice healers sit with him, making sure everything was as well as could be expected with the sleeping elf. If no problems arose he would keep him in this state till after the attack when he would be able to assist him better.

Elrond turned to the door to see Lord Celeborn standing in the doorway watching him.

“I assume that you have someone guarding my daughter and grandchildren.” He stated tiredly.

Elrond nodded. “Of course.”

Celeborn nodded and stepped out in to the hall waiting for Elrond before speaking. “How is your advisor?”
Sighing, Elrond looked down. “It will take a long time but hopefully he will be well.”

“Then all hope is not lost yet. We should head to your office. I need to speak with you on some important matters.”

Elrond let Celeborn in to the room. It was almost impossible to find a place to sit with books and maps cluttering everywhere.

“I do not understand how you can work under these conditions, Elrond Peredhel,” complained the lord as he moved a stack of missives from a chair so he could sit.

Elrond smirked at his father in law. “I know where everything is; that is all that matters.”

“Enough with the small talk, we have much to work out. The attack has changed once again. It will be in three days. Thranduil’s forces are being led by Salebeth and should arrive soon.” Just then the door burst open and Elrond stared in shock.

“No one will lead my troops except me,” growled Thranduil.

“I thought you were staying home, my friend?” questioned Celeborn.

“And send my people into battle with out me? Never! My advisor wrote that before he had spoken to me. We ride together to get back those who are still alive and to avenge those we have lost to this cause.”

Elrond thought about trying to persuade Thranduil to sit it out due to his loss, knowing it was still weighing on him even if he was not showing it, but it was obvious there would be no changing his mind.

Elrond stood. “I will go get things moving. Then we can plan our strategy. I am going to need to get the healers ready. I do not wish to think about what we know we will find.”

Elladan stood in front of the door to the healing wing trying to peer through the keyhole when a voice from behind made him jump. “He is sleeping penneth, he needs his rest.”

Turning to face his father, he said, “I .. I just wanted to make sure he is ok.”

Elrond leaned down and scooped up the elfling in hand. “He will be well in time but for now he needs to rest. A lot has happened to him.”

Elladan wrapped his arms around Elrond’s neck before laying his head on his shoulder.

“Now I need you and your brother to stay near, Amme. It is going to be very busy around here for a while and I do not want you to get underfoot.”

“Yes, Ada.”

“Good boy, I will come tell you a story before you go to sleep tonight.”

“Ada?”

“Yes, Elladan?”

“Is it true that you and Attar and King Thran..Thran.. the King are going to go take care of the bad elves?”

“Thranduil, and yes, Elladan we are going to try.”

Elladan remained silent as Elrond carried him to his room where Elrohir was studying with Celebrian. Elladan frowned seeing that they were studying numbers and measurements.

“Do we have to study today, Ada? We need a day off,” complained his oldest son as he set him down.

“Yes, Elladan. You must study today.”

Elladan moved over to the table sitting with his Amme reluctantly sitting beginning to listen to his mother’s teachings.

Elrond was lingering for a moment to watch his family when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Celeborn standing there as well watching his only child as she cared for her sons.

Elrohir looked up to see Celeborn and jumped up knocking over the chair in the process. “Attar!” It was mere seconds before the silver haired Lord had two elflings wrapped around him. Elrond let his eyes meet his wife’s eyes for an all to brief moment before he made his way out of the room and back to the healing halls to do the work he had intended before running into his son. The thought brought him back to Erestor. What was he to do to help his friend? Perhaps he should recommend him to sail to the Undying Lands. There he would have all the time he needed to heal. He would not have to worry about if they would attack his home and take him again. It was not the first time the thought had crossed his mind and Elrond felt a little guilty, knowing he would only mention it as a last resort. They all needed him too much to let him go if they did not have to. He would have to see how he progressed the next few weeks. Now he had other matters to deal with and the next few days would seem endless.
He was not afraid for himself but his family and his people. It was his job to keep them safe. He had failed Erestor and he would not fail again. Elrond let himself smile, hearing the giggles from down the hall. Hopefully by the end of the week all would be well and the war over. He entered the door to the healing rooms and began working.

It was early the next morning when Elrond found himself watching his wife sleeping. He had worked till Ithil was high above and his father’s star had long moved past. He had managed to get a few hours of rest despite his growing fears of what this morn would bring. He softly laid a kiss upon her brow before pulling himself from the comfort of their bed and began to dress. Moments later, he was heading down through the dark halls of the Last Homely House till he reached the armory. When Elrond walked in, he could see Celeborn staring out the window already in his armor. Elrond could not help but smirk at his chance seeing that the armor was the same Celeborn had had since his days as captain in Doriath.

“I would have thought that you would have replaced that antique by now and had new armor made.”

Celeborn smiled.

“Why should I change that which is reliable and familiar?

“Because, Ada, it makes you look old.” Retorted Elrond as he started putting on his armor.

Celeborn could not help but laugh.

“Well Elfling, compared to you, I am old.” Pointed out Celeborn as he picked up his sword and began to polish it.

“Very true, and I suppose that is a wise decision.” Conceded Elrond

“Of course it is true, I was not named Celeborn the Wise for nothing.”

Elrond smirked, “I thought it was because it sounded better than Celeborn the decrepit.” Elrond ducked as his father in law threw the cloth that he was using .

Suddenly the door burst open and Gildor was standing there out of breath, eyes wide in panic.

“My Lord, the twins are gone. Glorfindel.. He is … he is on his way to Mandos and the other guards are dead. And Erestor was found out in the halls covered in blood as well. Glorfindel’s knife embedded to the hilt in his shoulder. ”

Elrond and Celeborn rushed out toward the twins’ room. Upon entry the first thing noticeable was the large amount of blood and the broken window.

“How did we not hear this?” questioned Celeborn.

“I do not know but we have to find them and now!” Elrond called Gildor, who had followed them.

“Get me anyone who knows Imladris well and the surrounding area.”

Gildor nodded and quickly ran off to carry out Elrond’s orders.

“Oh, no,” muttered Celeborn picking up a piece of paper and reading it.

Elrond came over and Celeborn handed him the paper after reading it.

“Unconditional surrender?” Questioned Elrond. “They cannot be serious.”

“What will you do, Elrond?” Questioned Celeborn watching Elrond staring at the note.

“I know not what to do at this moment.”

“What can I do? They are my children. We will leave Imladris and surrender it to them.”

“That would be foolish Elrond. And what about Erestor? They asked for him as well, will you turn him over to them?” Noted Celeborn.

“I will not give him to them. They have hurt him enough.”

Celeborn nodded. “They have indeed, we will go speak with them. This war needs to end. We will take only a small group to show we are not there to attack them. We will leave the rest here to protect Imladris. I will tell Thranduil that we are attempting a diplomatic mission. He will understand why we have changed the plans without speaking with him.

“I need to speak with Erestor, I am sure he did not do this on purpose But we will have to keep him contained just the same.”

“Will he ever be the same, Elrond?”

“I know not, but if we send him back there.. I shudder to think what would become of him.”

“Elrond?” Erestor’s voice was weak but the terror came through quite clearly. “I tried not to do it. Can you forgive me ever?” Erestor had his arms wrapped around himself despite the pain he must be in from the knife wound.

“You should be resting, Erestor. Replied Elrond looking at the shaking elf.
“And you are not yet well.”

“I will never be well. I know what he wants. I know what he did. It is all rushing back and I am not sure I can handle it, Elrond. Even now he torments me. He will hurt your sons if I leave. He knows everything and it is all my fault.” Erestor slid down the wall to the floor starting to sob. “I just want to die, Elrond, but he will not let me!! He made me do it, he made me hurt Glorfindel. I could not stop. He will use me over and over to harm you. I must return to save your family.”

Celeborn looked at Erestor. “We will not give you up to him. He will have to think of something else he wants instead.”

Elrond looked at his friend. “I am sorry, Erestor but we will have to confine you, at least for now. I will have something set up so you will be comfortable.”

Just then Celebrian appeared in the doorway.

“Elrond, Ada? Tell me it is not true.” She said entering the twins now destroyed room.

“I am afraid it is, but we will have them back. I swear it on my soul.” vowed, Elrond.

Elrond and Celeborn both wrapped her in their arms as she sobbed against them.

Thranduil was soon in the door, helping Erestor to his feet. “Come, we must be swift if we are to save your sons, Peredhel.”

Thranduil took Erestor to change before taking him down to a cell that was prepared for him.

Elrond did his best to comfort his wife, kissing her forehead. “They will be well, the Valar are not so cruel as to take them from us. “ Celebrian nodded trying to dry her tears. “I wish you to return with them Lord Elrond Peredhel.”

“I will, love.”

Celeborn swiftly made the arrangements they would need and it was but an hour later that the three elves were on their way, escorted by Salebeth and Galdor headed for Mor-Gur.

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