A man's wife became deathly ill the night before Christmas in 1798, he called for the doctor but by the time the doctor had arrived his wife had died, or so it seemed. Her husband was so grief stricken that he shut himself up on his own and didn't attend the funeral the following day. The servants of the house carried the rich woman's body to the Vicar who in a drunken stupor held the ceremony quickly. The veil was drawn across her face, the stone lid lowered and the iron grille locked.
When later that night the Clergy man fell to sleep he remembered the beautiful emerald ring the woman had been laid with on her finger. Wanting riches for himself and fiquring no one would find out he went downstairs unlocked the lid open it and tried to pry off the ring, it wouldn't budge. He ran to his lab and brought back a file to cut off her finger with. He severed her finger and pulled the ring off, as he left he turned arond to pick up the iron lid, and screamed at the top of his lungs, dropped the ring and ran, the woman had awakened and was moaning and holding her severed finger towards him with a smile displayed evenly across her face.
He ran with all his might upstairs where he hung himself from the rafters of his home. If only he knew that the woman had only to thank him for she had not died after all but had gone into a coma and the cutting of her finger restored her circulation waking her from it.
Wearing nothing but her fine silk dress she walked back to the home and knocked on the door and rang the bell to no avail. The servants had all gone to sleep for it was late christmas eve. She felt an urge and lifted a heavy stone, threw it at her husband's window, and waited. He came to the window with a sorrowful look on his face, and suddenly to her surprise he yelled, "Go away. Why must you torture me so. Don't you know my wife has just died. Let me mourn and do not bother me agian."
With this he shut the window. He must not have realized it was his wife who had thrown the rock at him. She repeated this and he opened the window again, and she yelled to him, "I am no one but your so called dead wife. Now come down here and open this door, Henry Page, unless you'd like me to die a second time on our doorstep."
"You are a ghost then," he said to her.
She said, "No, for ghost's don't bleed. Now come down here before I catch my own death of cold."
The man with a joyous look on his face came down to meet his wife and took her inside where he called the doctor once more and told him the news. They both lived long lives and there first son was born the next year
This story begins not too long ago and not far away. Just to the north of here there is a country where it is Winter for 7 long moths of the year. Now this particular Winter had gone on much longer than usual and the people were beginning to run out of food and firewood. Inside one small house right out in the barren snowlands an old lady was beginning to get anxious. (Now you have to put on old lady and old man voices, get anxious and rub your hands a lot as if cold). "oh, my husband I am so cold and hungry. Look at me my hands are blue! I am going to die I am sure of it."
"Don't worry my darling, Winter will be over soon, we will have food again" But the old lady looked very ill and continued to get anxious. Eventually the old man agreed, "Very well my darling I will go and search for food. But before I go you must promise me one thing. You must not use the last two logs we have for the fire, we will need them to cook the food on when I return"
"Okay, okay I agree just go, please find food"
With that the old man went out in search of food.
Time passed and the old man did not return, the fire was beginning to get lower and lower.
"Where is he. I'm hungry! I'm freezing! I am sure I will die" (rub hands a lot) Then the old lady had an idea. "If I put just one of the logs on the fire he will be back soon and
then we will still have one to cook the food with.
Yes, yes that's what I'll do."
The old lady picked up one log and placed it on the fire.
(act this out, as you place log on fire make whooshing sound). "Oh that's much better, I'm so warm,
he'll be back with food soon". (smile a lot).
The old lady forgot how hungry she was as she sat close to the warm fire. But more time passed and still her husband did not return. It was beginning to get dusk outside and again the fire was getting lower and lower.
"Where is he? He must have found food and eaten it. I am going to be left here to freeze!" (lots of rubbing and groaning)
Then the old lady had another idea.
"He must be back soon. If I put the last log on the fire it will be hot and ready to cook on when he returns".
With that the old lady put the last log on the fire.
(make whooshing sound and cries of happiness)
But more time passed and the old man was not back.
The last log began to burn lower and lower
until all that was left was a tiny flicker.
(complain a lot and move in close to imaginary fire).
The old lady got closer and closer to the fire. Then suddenly "Ouch" she burnt herself on it and began to bleed. She placed the finger in her mouth to lick it (make this action)
"MMMMh this tastes good." Then the old lady began to chew (make chewing action up hand). "Mmmm so good."
And chew, up her arm, and around her body
(act all this out - lots of chewing and mmhhing noises)
until all that was left was a skeleton.
"Mmhh that was so good, I feel much better but I'm still hungry." Just at that moment she heard a rustling
outside and the door opened. In came her husband with 2 rabbits in his hand (mime this).
"Look my wife I found foooo-----"
The old lady ran towards him and grabbed the rabbits (mime this). Mmmh these are good. MMhh MMhh (mine chewing rabbits) My husband I've just realized how meaty you are. Come here I want to eat you. I want Meat!"
With that the old man burst out the door and ran into the frozen wastelands as fast as he could. Behind him the old lady was running. "I want meat, I'm going to eat you." Luckily
the old man could run fast and began to escape his wife.
He ran further and further into the snow.
In the distance was the sound of the old lady.
"I want meat. I'm going to eat you!"
(each time you do this grab the arm of a member of the audience and fake chew it - you should be on your feet all the time now and miming the running actions.)
Suddenly the old man came to the edge of a huge gorge that went as far as he could see that way (look) and as far as he could see that way (look). There was no way across and coming closer was the sound of the old lady.
"I want meat. I'm going to eat you" (attack audience again)
Then the old man noticed a small wooden cottage. he ran to it and banged on the door. The door opened on a chain and a woman could be seen inside. "Yes. How can I help you."
"It's my wife. she's gone crazy she's going to eat me"
(act very panicked) "Very well I will help you
but first you must bring me a bucket of water."
"What, she's going to eat me and you want water?"
"Yes"
"Okay, okay"
The old man searched around and found a bucket to get some water from the well. he took it to the woman who pulled out a ladle from her pocket and dipped it into the water.
(mime all this out).
"AAhh yes. Very good. Now I will help you"
In the distance the sound of the skeleton lady was very close "I want meat. I'm going to eat you!" (attack audience)
The woman stood on the edge of the gorge and stamped her feet into the ground. Then she reached out and stretched (say this word long and slowly as you stretch out) to the other side and grabbed onto a tree. "Now you may cross."
The old man walked carefully across the lady's back (mime this) and reached the other side. Then the woman let go and PING went right back to the other side.
She returned to her house.
Just then the skeleton lady arrived at the gorge.
"I will get you my husband. I will eat you. I want Meat!"
She banged on the door of the house. "Yes. Can I help you?"
"You are too skinny to eat. You will help me cross the gorge."
"Very well I will help you but first you must
bring me a drink of water."
"Help me now or I'll eat you anyway."
"Okay, Okay."
With that the woman stood on the side of the gorge and stamped her feet into the ground. She stretched across and grabbed onto the tree. The old woman began to run across.
"I want meat. I will eat you."
When she was halfway across the woman let go and PING went back to the start.
" I want meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......" (fade off and then crash to ground) CRASH
The skeleton lady fell to ground and shattered to a million pieces.
(Say next part of story very slowly and quietly)
Now I said that I said that this happened not too long ago and not too far away. It is said that there is a little bit of magic in each piece of the skeleton lady's bone and that one day they will join together and come in search of ....."MEAT"
(jump and attack audience) then end
By Edgar Allen Poe
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered,
weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of someone gently
rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my
chamber door; Only this, and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow From my books surcease of surrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore,. For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore, Nameless here forevermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me---filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door,
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.
This is it, and nothing more."
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you."
Here I opened wide the door;---
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there,
wondering, fearing Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore?",
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"
Merely this, and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before,
"Surely," said I, "surely, that is something at my window lattice. Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore. Let my heart be still a moment,
and this mystery explore.
'Tis the wind, and nothing more."
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven, of the saintly days of yore. Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door. Perched upon a bust of Pallas, just above my chamber door, Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven thou," I said,
"art sure no craven, Ghastly, grim, and ancient raven, wandering from the nightly shore.
Tell me what the lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore." Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door,
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as "Nevermore."
But the raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered; Till I scarcely more than muttered,
"Other friends have flown before;
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before." Then the bird said, "Nevermore."
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster, till his songs one burden bore,--- Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore Of Never--- Nevermore."
But the raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door; Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore, What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking, "Nevermore."
Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er, But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er She shall press, ah, Nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor. "Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee -- by these angels he hath sent thee Respite---respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, O quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!" Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!"
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!--prophet still, if bird or devil!
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted--- On this home by horror haunted--tell me truly,
I implore: Is there--is there balm in Gilead?--
tell me--tell me I implore!"
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil--prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that heaven that bends above us--by that God we both adore-- Tell this soul with sorrow laden, if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden, whom the angels name Lenore--- Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore?" Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting-- "Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! --
quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!" Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming. And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws the shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that
shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted--- Nevermore!
