WELCOME TO SATURNIA REGNA !

Saturnia Regna is an organization created to promote awareness of a lifestyle referred to as POLYAMORY.  The word polyamory was created by combining the term "POLY" meaning many, or multiple, with the word "AMOR," meaning love. Thus polyamory means a relationship style that is deliberately and openly non-monogamous, both in terms of physical, sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy as well. There are almost as many definitions of polyamory as there are people trying to practice it. We encourage people to explore the matter for themselves if they are interested. A good place to start is to type the word polyamory into any search engine, and follow where it takes you. You will find many different points of view expressed, each of which may be considered to have at least some validity to it.

Central to any definition of polyamory is the idea that the non-monogamous activity is done freely, openly, - and with the consent of ALL parties concerned. If the way a person is conducting their relationships involves any degree of dishonesty or coercion, then what they are doing is something other than polyamory.

Many of the  people who  contact Saturnia Regna initially hold  numerous inaccurate ideas and fantasies regarding about what polyamory is and what our organization is about. Hopefully,  reading this document will answer most of  your questions and dispel at least most of any misperceptions you may have. With that in mind, it may be helpful to explain polyamory by contrasting it with some of the things that  polyamory is not.

Polyamory is not irresponsible non-monogamy.

A large number of people engage in non-monogamous behaviors while lying about what they are doing to their partners. Millions of supposedly monogamous people cheat on their  spouses, lovers, and partners. This type of lifestyle constitutes what is called "irresponsible non-monogamy." Irresponsible non-monogamy is not polyamory. Merely violating your agreements to be monogamous is not polyamory. Polyamory respresents a conscious attempt to get beyond such irresponsibility and lying. For it to be  polyamory, ALL parties concerned must be being up front and honest with each other about what is going on, and must be willing to participate  freely and willingly in such an arrangement. If a lifestyle or behavior involves any degree of deception or coercian, it is NOT polyamory. Some people mistakenly assume that people practicing polyamory will have great sympathy with people who are cheating on their spouses, and are thus very surprised and disappointed to discover that this is not so.  Another way of saying this is that the opposite of polyamory is cheating.  One could think of polyamory as being not so much an alternative to monogamy as much as it is an alternative to cheating and irresponsible non-monogamy.

Polyamory is NOT swinging.

There is a major distinction to be made between what is called "Swinging" and Polyamory. In swinging, the intent is to engage in non-monogamous sexual behavior without the development of love, affection or personal intimacy between oneself and the secondary partners. Swingers generally seek to engage in recreational sex without emotional intimacy.  With polyamory,  there is no such restriction, and the intent IS  to allow such emotional intimacy  to exist, develop, and grow between the people involved.  We have nothing against swingers, but if swinging is what you are seeking, you won't find it here.

Polyamory is NOT Old Testament style, or Mormon style polygamy.

In what is classically defined as polygamy, a man has exclusive control over more than one woman simultaneously. This was the standard operating procedure in the Old Testament, as well as in much of the traditional Moslem world even today.  Instead  of merely possessing the sexuality of one woman as his personal property, in this kind of polygamy, a man possesses the sexuality of several women as his personal property. Such an arrangement presupposes that the male has a right to have his needs and desires met at the expense of the women involved. Such arrangements  tend only to exist  in situations were there is a massive power imbalance between men and women. Such arrangements tend to be unworkable whenever relative equality exists between males and females. In a very real way, polygamy of this sort is the OPPOSITE of polyamory, for such an inequitable arrangement  would be even MORE offensive to polyamorous women than enforced  monogamy would be. In polyamory, a person's sexuality, most  especially a WOMEN'S sexuality, is their own. In polyamory, a person's sexuality is thought of something they are free to do with as they choose, and is NOT something that can ever be made the property of  someone else.

POLYAMORY IS NOT PANSEXUALITY.

Some people mistakenly assume that if a person  is not monogamous, they must mean they are completely non-discriminating in their choice of sexual partners and lovers. This is rarely the case among polyamorous people. Most polyamorous people, especially the women, tend to be VERY discriminating regarding the matter of who they are interested in and who they are not interested in. They  tend to be quite UNwilling to "settle" for something other than or less than what they actually want. Therefore, it is a major mistake to assume that you can show up to a gathering of  polyamorous people and expect to find everyone there that you happen to be attracted to be receptive to whatever you happen to have in mind.  Another common mistake that some males make is to assume that polyamorous women must  be weak-willed, wishy-washy bimbos that can easily be talked into anything, or can readily be pressured into doing whatever some male they have just met wants them to do. In reality, the opposite is generally the case. Polyamorous women tend to have very definite ideas about what  they want and don't want, and are very independent -minded.They tend to have no use for men who think they can coerce them into doing something they  don't want to do, and have absolutely no tolerance for  men who mistreat or disrepect women.

We are all in favor of people, whether male or female, satisfying their  desires and making their dreams come true. However, the exercise of a little intelligence is needed to make this happen.  Many of the males that contact us initially seem to have let their fantasies and imagination run away with them. If you happen to be such a male that is hoping that you can show up unannounced at your first meeting of Saturnia Regna or other gathering of polyamorous people, fill your station wagon up with a half dozen breathless nymphomaniac playboy  bunnies that have all suddenly fallen in love with you,  and drive off into Valhalla for a weekend that  makes all the sexual fantasies you have been saving up since puberty come true all at once, you will be sadly disappointed.

Polyamorous relationships tend to be something that  do not happen automatically nor instantly. Polyamorous  relationships are usually things that develop and evolve slowly, and they tend to require a  considerable amount of patience, honest communication, delicate  negotiations, sustained nurturance and attention over time to establish and to maintain them.

If your frustration with monogamy is primarily  due to a deficiency of honesty and/or communication skills, you will  probably find polyamory to be even more frustrating  than monogamy. Likewise, if your interest in polyamory comes primarily from the mistaken assumption that  it is a way to be involved in sexual relationships by dispensing with the need to develop trust and intimacy with a person first, you are not likely to  find much satisfaction with polyamory, and would be advised to search elsewhere.

SATURNIA REGNA is  not a religion. We don't have any specific ideology to preach. We don't have any "sleeping schedules" that we enforce on anybody. We don't do psychotherapy on people. We can't promise to straighten out all your personal problems, or guarntee that all your fantasies  will come true instantly. We don't have a full staff of people who consider it their mission in life to spend vast amounts of time and resources towards making sure all your sexual fanstasies are satisfied. We can't promise you that you will find polyamory to be what you are looking for, nor can we promise to reveal to you the ultimate meaning of life. But if you are sincerely interested in exploring the subject of polyamorous relationships and want to meet other people who are interested in the same thing, perhaps Saturnia Regna is a place for  you. If so, we encourage you join our online email list at QUESTIONS_SATURNIA_REGNA@YAHOOGROUPS.COM. Ask whatever further questions you have there, and after you have done so,  if you are still interested in exploring the matter further, you will have to opportunty to attend a low cost orientation meeting ($14). If after attending that meeting, polyamory still seems like something you are interested in exploring, you will have the opportunity to attend other social gatherings of polyamorous people, most of which are either free or involve a nominal fee.

The parties and  meetings sponsored by Saturnia Regna are social events only, not orgies nor sex parties. We aim  to maintain a safe, comfortable atmosphere. We presuppose that anyone invited to attend one of our introductory orientation meetings  is a responisble adult and capable of  behaving like one. Anyone behaving in a rude,  offensive or predatory manner will be told to leave and be barred from future attendence. Fortunately, we have very few problems of this sort, and  we'd like to keep it that way.

Hopefully this clears up at least some of the questions you have regarding what Polyamory is, and what Saturnia Regna is about. If after  reading this,  it still sounds like something you are  interested in attending, we encourage you to join the email/discussion list.

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