| LIST |
| LIST |
| T h e J e r k 'e' d e x : Gotta Kick 'em All... Jerk'e'mon! |
| 1.) The Chicken Soup Psychologist Who is: The kind of person who tries to solve arguments, but in fact causes them. Instead of listening to you, they throw generic phrases like "I understand" or "Get help for you anorexia/depression/shin-kicking disorder" at you. 2.) The Smugger Who is: The kind of person who can't say/accept one genuinely sweet thing. They are usually barely 20, and say smirky things that they think make them look edgy. But in fact, they are just annoying people who watched one too-many "Daria" reruns. 3.) The Yesser Who is: The kind of person who can't give a straight answer. Usually, the only answer they give are "Whatever" or "Whatever you want. And sometimes, all they'll tell you as feedback is "sounds good" and "I have faith in you." 4.) The I-Knew-That-er Who is: The kind of person who won't give you credit for anything. Whatever you say, they will snap back "I know!" or "Are you saying I'm STUPID?" or best yet, "Uh, DUH." 5.) The Clueless Wonder Who is: Usually a mean, obnoxious person who pisses you off. Yet whenever you snap at them, they go "You're mean! And I don't like mean people." or "Why are you so mean/snapish/cranky/rude?" 6.) The Cheerpy Who is: A person who is so preppie and cheerful (he would get jury duty, and he'd go "Yay! Jury duty! I get to serve the American democracy!"), you swear he's asking for a punch in the face. 7.) The Minoritist Who is: A person who has some minor disability or is part of some minority group and uses it as an excuse. They offend everyone, yet you're not supposed to say anything or they'll go "are you discriminating against my PEOPLE?" Of course, being a minority myself, I can reply effortlessly (^_^). 8.) Look-at-Me-er Who is: An untalented bozo who lectures everyone on how to be an untalented bozo. Strangely enough, they honestly believe they are enviable. 9.) The Ignorant Know-it-all Who is: Doesn't know anything about a subject, yet is confidant enough to tell you when you're supposedly wrong or mistaken. Many of them can't take a simple,"I'm right this time, because I read the book/watched the movie/etc." as an answer. 10.) Mister/Miss/Mrs. Hoggy who is: A person who hogs all the work in a group, and usually delivers a poor-quality end result. Usually, they think you're too dumb to be consulted. 11.) Mister/Miss/Mrs.Slothy who is: A completely lazy bumcicle who gets his her credit in society for other people's work. Is selectively deaf: when you tell him/her to do something, they will not hear you even if you yell at them. 12.) The Deaf Guy who is: A selectively deaf person. Usually found combined with any of the forementioned Jerk'e'mon. 13.) The Photo Model who is: A total snob who thinks they are so hot they cannot talk to "lower" people without looking completely bored/uninterested or sneering. A good side: sneering eventually leads to wrinkles around the mouth. 14.) The Genius who is: Someone who thinks because they listen to/read/watch [insert name], that they've seen all there is to see if life. Whatever you tell them, they're convinced everyone but them (and perhaps a few of their boring friends) is a walking, talking, piece of poop who isn't worth their time... 15.) The Cock who is: A guy who talks to you, and out of nowhere becomes sexually vulgar, and usually is a jerk when you politely explain to him you have no sexual interest in him. 16.) The Karmatic Jerk who is: A person who is so "in touch with themselves" and karma-happy that they must share their enlightment with the world... by being darn snooty about it and viewing everyone else as an un-enlightened idiot. They usually say things they think are deep, and normal people think are simply stupid. 17.) The Siren who is: A girl or boy who uses their looks to use other people. 18.) The Yapper-Dapper who is: This person talks only when he has the chance to say something that puts someone else down. The rest of the time, they'll be quiet and downright unresponsive. |