WAAHOOO…a new world moped land speed record. I was king once again. After everyone was thru being stunned (I am sure the news was going to spread all over school) we all decided to go ride BMX and being the new king I was going to ride my chainsaw steed over to the jumps and watch them …………….as I overlooked them mounted on my 37 mph rocket, a thought occurred to me (stupid but still a thought) Humm… I could jump that with my rocket.
Later that night when I was leaving the hospital with my arm in a sling my dad asked me “what were you thinking stupid” I sat in silence and then replied, “You’re right I know better…….. Next time I’ll lean more forward so I wont fall backwards off the rocket”. After all it’s only a broken collarbone and the doc said it would be okay in two weeks.
Chapter 2
I HAVE BECOME Invisible TODAY
The year after was very much like the year before, filled mayhem and laughter. Only my parents decided to separate again. This was standard for the times, that didn’t make it any easier especially since I had started to take care of my brothers after school at 15 years of age the lesson came harder than needed.
One night I came home after the streetlights had been on (and of course summer days were longer) around 8:30 and father thought a new lesson was in order, and with one hand in my pocket I cruised threw the door only to find another hand on my throat It wasn’t mine and the voice of hell spoke “do you see what god damn time it is were the hell have you been” as my feet left the floor and a fast flight down the hall followed “I was at Marks “ I replied hoping to strike reason with my attacker after impacting the wall with my back and head. My Father liked that answer even less then coming home late .Get the hell out of my house were his exact words as he literally threw me out and locked the door behind me (this was not the first time that he had hit me but it was the first time it hurt this bad) as I kneeled in the driveway I gasped for air my throat really hurt.
I looked around and noticed. …………………Nothing …………….the air was still and the usually busy neighbor hood was hushed the sky was clear the moon illuminated everything and the stars were the brightest I had ever seen. I stood up with my whole life ahead of me and wondered now what? This little town never seemed so large and the streets so long as I walked to my best friends house. I rapped on the door, and as it open I asked him if I could stay at there.
Morning came quickly and I rushed out the door towards home, as I reached the my winding driveway when I stopped at the bottom, there on the asphalt sat all my clothes, I removed the key from my pocket and slid it into the doorknob …it fit but did not turn …I left in the knob…………….. I Became Invisible that day.
Marks dad (Vic) was ex-military and mark rummaged up a duffel bag and army jacket, behind the tract houses was an empty field going towards the lake with a gully in the middle. This was to be my new home (in August Happy birthday to me) a few trees were my furnishings and rocks my carpet. I set up a small fire pit to keep me warm at night and Mark brought me my one meal a day at diner. I was scared I really thought that I would die here. (I look back and wonder now how did I become so Invisible? no one noticed that I was no longer in school? At my house? Riding around? My brothers didn’t ask? What lie did he tell everyone?) I Usually spent afternoons at marks house till his parents came home at 6:00. One day (it was October now) I had walked out to the ditch and my heart sunk there my whole world was torn apart all my clothes thrown into the fire pit burned along with pictures of my brothers my note books that I kept about my life, thoughts, dreams, strewn about ripped to confetti. Probably by some kids the same age as me thinking it was funny to screw up some homeless guys stuff as they were on their way home to eat one of their three meals for the day, and sleep and there warm soft beds sheltered from the weather. I broke down for the first time in years yes after two months alone out here and cried I lay there as it started to rain and wept myself to sleep, cold, alone, and hungry.
I have never cried for me not through a single beating just to prove to that man …no matter what he did he could not break me, even when I broke my collarbone riding that moped when I was 14. I was more afraid of my dad then of the pain, I mean after I broke it I ran home and made dinner for my brothers and did laundry, cleaned the dishes, and all before he arrived home or I new there would be hell to pay then asked him to take me to the hospital because I broke my arm.
But this evening I cried for …..Myself, thoughts of death rushed me to sleep; I knew then that I could never take my own life. I was going to be better than that man.