Wooo-ho, gonna burn in the lake of fire! Yeah!
We had about six trees in our yard cut down last weekend, so I've spent the past few days carving them up with a chainsaw and hauling the pieces across the yard to the wood pile. In that short period of time, I've developed a classically-defined physique which is really quite impressive. Soon I'll be able to go to circuit parties and walk around shirtless like all the other homos. As I develop my throbbing pecs, I find myself filled with an overwhelming desire to watch Will & Grace and Friends, in between shopping excursions to Abercrombie & Fitch. I also ignore the contrast between rubbing Deep Heat on my fatigued muscles and Clinique Eye-Bag cream on my developing crow's feet...
.::Da Pimp::.
"Use the digital!"
Personally, I was always partial to Velma from Scooby Doo, but that's just me...
Another exciting weekend at my mom's antique mall. If I had known I was going to be surrounded by homosexuals all day long every weekend, I would do even less to pretty myself up before work. On Saturday, I rolled outta bed, splashed some water in my face and went up there without shaving. I thought I looked like hell, but my lumberjack/jock aura seemed to excite every queen that walked through the door. Of course, they're all over forty and we all know what that does to a homo, don't we?
I decided to keep a record of my postings on this main page, at least for a few days...exciting, huh? So look for the old ish below...
.::Da Pimp::.
"I'll fuck you till you love me!"
Less is more, Sassy, less is more...
It's the first morning of Lent and I've already been involved in a screaming battle with some "(!=)lady" on the road and deluged her with profanity. Then, when I realized I wasn't supposed to be cussing, I said "Oh shit, I'm such a fuckin' dumbass." Can I give up something else instead?? How am I going to go to NY next month and survive if I can't cuss at people who are "purposely trying to GET ON MY NERVES"?! GD, this f'in s**t sucks.
Last night we went out to dinner (surprise) and I had to listen to my mom rant about politics all night. I really, really, really hate politics...
.::Da Pimp::.
"Oh, you mean pornography!"
Here it is, my itinerary for Spring Break.
Valentine's Day has come and gone and I, for one, couldn't care less. What's all the drama?
My Lent resolution is not going well, not well at all. Maybe if I could avoid getting out of bed in the morning and having to deal with humanity in general...then, I could go without four letter words. But I am a perpetually warm sista and I walk around with a nub for a fuse. The slightest event releases a torrent of profanity. But, I'm trying, I'm trying...
.::Da Pimp::.
"When I get home after a long work day among rubber gloves and disinfectants, I put my feet up and leaf through a good book about ships."
Dude is ok looking so what's wrong here? Maybe he has a few bodies smoldering in the basement or something.
Yesterday, I bought the Moulin Rouge DVD without having first seen the movie. It was decent enough and I enjoyed it. For some reason, I am in love with Nicole Kidman. I normally don't keep track of movie stars, this ain't Photo Play or some shit like that, but she's pretty tight. And Tom Cruise is a little shit, he gets on my fuckin' nerves...the blackest mark against him being that he is from Kentucky. I wonder if he forced her into becoming a Scientologist too?
.::Da Pimp::.
"Take a look around you Grizelda...it's a village of idiots!"
Mike sent me this last night.
Ok, why the hell was I carrying on about Nicole Kidman the other day? WTF?
Wooo-ho, today is my birthday. I never fully understood the term "embarrassment of riches" until my mother brought home two keylime pies yesterday for which she paid sixty bucks! "I wanted you to have a nice birthday!" she announced. I am too mortified to eat a thirty dollar pie when there are famished people in the world, but too afraid to not eat it since it was so ridiculousy expensive. I think this is all a ploy my mother has arranged to make me feel guilty for being so grouchy all the time. They're good at that ya know.
.::Da Pimp::.
"Go ask Alice, I think she'll know..."
Ladies, are you doing your duty?
The other day we had a test in my communications class and I was a bit mystified when the professor began separating people. She said "I'm not accusing anyone, but we can't have any cheating." The dude beside me said "She means she doesn't want you copying off of me." Uh, yeah, right, I could chew you up and spit you out with my encyclopedic knowledge bitch. So midway through the test, I see this flurry of activity beside me and realize that dude has a cheat sheet. Now he has already told me he is a competitor who hates to lose, and apparently he does so by any means necessary. Being a dork, I was scandalized! Being a competitor myself, I wondered what satisfaction one could gain from winning by cheating? And being a bitch, I thought "If this little shit gets a higher grade than me and tries to rub it in I'm gonna say 'That's quite an accomplishment considering you had the answers right under your test!'"
.::Da Pimp::.
"Dim the lights, electric Barbarella..."
Martha Stewart's worst nightmare...
Well, I'm busy as hell. All of my professors are trying to make sure they pile on the work and have us turn it in right before Spring Break, so I have no spare time. Also, I will have to alter my plans for my trip to DC and NY somewhat. I was planning on skipping school on Friday (gasp!) and leaving, but it now appears that I have a test that day. So I'll move everything around and post a revised itinerary sooner or later. Maybe I'll stop in West Virginia for an evening, see my grandparents and hang out with one of my hundreds of cousins...
Taj is in Greece right now, consulting with the Oracle of Delphi. I wonder if it's telling her that I'm gonna kick her ass since she is taking all these whirlwind, transcontinental vacations while I languish in Kentucky? Maybe she should stay home and check with Miss Cleo the next time...
.::Da Pimp::.
"We took the rocket car!"
Soon to be appropriated by the leather community worldwide...
Woo-ho, one week and then I'm off to DC and NY. I am gonna be fucked up from the time I pull into KT's apartment complex until the time I merge onto the Capital Beltway and point my Jeep towards Kentucky. The distance between DC and New York will become known, for me at least, as the Valley of the Dolls.
And, I am still busy as hell with school, hence the reason I haven't been updating very much recently. I had to write a five page paper for my communications class in a few short days, and if you knew how I love to endlessly edit things you would be amazed that I managed to pull it off. Of course, after reading over my site, you might be amazed to hear that I claim to endlessly edit things too.
.::Da Pimp::.
"That's right, that's right, that's what I said! You ain't about shit, your hair ain't neither!"
I thought I was the only one with too much time on my hands. Thanks to Chris for the link...
Woo-ho, I'm leaving for New York and DC tomorrow! As you realize, I will have no time to update my site at all while I'm gone, but I might try to throw up a picture or something, we'll see. If I get caught in some kind of drunken orgy or something, I'll throw together a journal entry about it, but otherwise I doubt you'll hear too much from me. In the meantime, I will be drunk, drugged, sedated or a combination of the three for the next week. I'm looking forward to it...
.::Da Pimp::.
"Ah'll be back!"
God damn it, I was planning a trip to Visionland in just a few weeks, and now this happens! For those of you who have no idea why I care, they have a great coaster.
Just for the records, I do plan on updating my site sooner or later. I've been very busy since I came back from New York (way back in March), but now that school is out, I'll get around to it. I promise.
.::Da Pimp::.
"And the white knight is talking backwards and the red queen is off with her head..."
update: 8.26.02
It's been nothing but good news for my favorite park and one of my favorite coasters!
So, here I am with only a day and a half to go before school starts, thinking about quitting one of my jobs and wondering what this semester is gonna be like. I'm sure it will be fun, but I know it's going to be challenging.
I'm also thinking about cleaning up the Journal and Eavesdroppin sections by removing some of the duller entries... Waddya think? I'm sure anyone who is still coming here would justifiably say "Why don't you add a new entry instead of removing old ones?" But I'm just not inspired to write at the moment. I'd end up writing shit, so why bother? For the time being, I might keep this front page updated regularly since it's more of a rambling blog type thing than a collection of stories.
.::Da Pimp::.
"Nothing new for trash like you!"
update: 8.30.02
I believe I got this from Chris a while ago. Worth a quick peek.
There is an odd girl in my programming class. She was in my Trig class last year and was perfectly normal; now this lanky hick woman who looks like she recently immigrated from the hills has decided to become Asian. She saunters in yesterday and I notice that she's dyed her hair jet black. Like Clairol Blue Black and I'm thinking "Well, that looks awful." I notice that she's also wearing black eyeliner wooshed up in the corners in an attempt to make her eyes look slanted. Then the teacher is calling role and, as always, he says to holler out anything you would prefer to be called. He finally gets to "Tammy Radcliff" and she's all "I go by Mei-Ling." I'm like "Did she just say Mei-Ling?!" and the teacher asks her to spell it and she's all "M-e-i-L-i-n-g" He was like ".......Ok."
I like that programming class and my other classes are...well, to be accurate, Calculus is easily the best, Programming is cool, Sociology is ok and Physics absolutely sucks. The teacher is rotted. He runs the class in a completely disorganized, haphazard fashion and gave us a test on the second day! Yeesh, that's a bit much, even for an uber-student like me.
.::Da Pimp::.
"Every night with my star friends, we eat caviar and drink champagne."
