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Day one / Thursday July 24th
So we steal a couch which was originally funny but will haunt us throughout the rest of the trip as a horribly wrong choice.
We watched a driver hit a dead animal and spew it all over the road even more.
We learned the hard way that the tent we borrowed was NOT waterproof.
First road trip injury: Kerry’s wrist is assaulted by Elizabeth’s fingernails.
We tried to make friends with the Sonic boy who backed away slowly from the van and sent a different server to deliver our second round.
Day two / Friday July 25th
At 9 we realized the time zone has been passed and it is really 8. Kerry therefore has been up since 430 Alabama time.
We enjoyed a warm and hearty breakfast at Holiday Inn’s complimentary breakfast. Kerry was able to have a toasted bagel with peanut butter on it. We watch CNN and leave with fruit in hand.
A small town grocery store is visited for a cheap dinner. Elizabeth’s food smells like dog food, but luckily tasted decent.
We all begin to wonder if there will be anything happening on this trip- ie FUN.
Day three / Saturday July 26th
Dear Jen: it is discovered that man-eating bears roll their r’s and wear tank tops to strip in.
Kerry tried to sneak out of tent which wakes Beth, who asks where she is going and this wakes Amy, who asks where they are going. After a ten minute hike the 430 am piss is established.
Amy pissed off a young lady waiting for her shower. We enjoyrf the scowels she recieved.
While the van is at the dealership, we hiked over to a Chinese buffet and each engorged ourselves with over 4 plates of food. Every time one plate is gone, one realized there are more dishes they have missed including the dessert bar. We eat for the day.
Memphis is empty and full of holes. The police are wasting time and throwing water balloons at each other. We wondered what kind of world we have entered, and then visit the National Civil Rights Museum. It’s too intensive for our full, sun bleached bodies.
Looking for smoothies turned into a long slow cruise around the bad part of town.
Shopping at Krogers for the next day’s food supply. Kerry applied for a discount card. We still forgot to buy ice and had to wait in line for a second time. Millington, Tennessee is not an efficient place.
Day four / July 27th
430 am piss is held.
Elizabeth showered for hike and received nothing but harassment for this wasteful act.
During hike Amy lead and continually walks into demon spider webs. We all felt fat and lazy and a leaf attacked Elizabeth. She reacted as if it were a massive heart attack landing on her arm and trying to suck her blood out. We turned around and cut the hike short. So we all headed to the pool.
At the pool we all enjoyed the fat people with no shame in bikinis.
We picnicked in the park, took naps on the grass and got attacked by harmless looking ants with killer bites, and sun bathe on the tables. Amy found a fishing pole with bait on it and threw it around. Kerry asked where she got it from, and Elizabeth just laughed and rolled back over to fall asleep. Amy woke up all alone and was a little worried.
A search for library/ free internet access was launched. One college was locked up tight, the next had limits on browser use, and the local library was closed early cause it was Sunday. We finally saw a Starbucks, but couldn’t go because we were having smores later. Kinkos is used as a last resort to atleast post the photos, which you can obviously see below.
On return to camp we tried to start a fire for smores. Duh, this did not really happen. Kerry forced us upon a neighbor who was a young man our age named Jeremy. He was boring and hit on us. The raccoons wanted to play with Kerry and make long lasting friendships. Kerry just wanted to scream a lot and act like a girl.
Day 5 / Monday July 28th
Kerry had to remind Beth again to put on deoderant.
LP and Izzy got to play in the woods while Amy was still in the shower.
A stop was made on the way out of Millington at a Hostess outlet. Food for the day was bought in a moment of insanity. No one should ever base the day’s sustenance on Hostess and Wonder Bread.
Kerry asked Matt if today would suck, and she nods her head. (14 hours later they finally exited the car.)
We stole some melons from a truck next to us at some random gas station. See pics.
An accident slowed down traffic to a stop and Matt steps out to frolick More looks our way for encouragement.
Matt spent two hours pulling out leg hair out while Kerry slept.
Amy is forced to eat.
All this activity was interrupted for a Disney movie song marathon and dance routine. A magic carpet ride ensued.
Cutting through the Nebraskan country side, we arrived at a very small, narrow bridge that was punctuated by a small white building and a burly country man. It was a toll booth for the bridge, which still seems shady. How random.
The park is reached and things get worse. The teepees are so scary in the night and we are horrified and flee the camp in hopes of sleeping on Aunt Nancy’s floor for the night. Once we get signal for the cell phone we learned Maureen and Nancy are at the park. So we ad to drive back and meet up with the family. Things were much better out of the car.
Day 6 / Monday July 29th
We slept in hardcore. Complete functioning and showering happened in the afternoon.
We enjoyed the craft lodge at Platte River. Amy gets kicked out because it is closed and she still hasn’t finished her ceramic snail. Dear god, never take and art student to some small craft project. She will obviously take more effort than needed to paint some small little trinket.