Story Started From Just A Blank Page

By Rip Van Wormer

 

Jacky Dripper was finally out of goblin manor. Indeed, said the gibbertroll, poison my cabbage will you…

 

No, said Jacky. Don’t. Please. I’ll give you my life’s work.

 

Your igloo of heavily articulated accordion death?

 

Um…

 

Done! The gibbertroll said in delight. That will make a fine mantelpiece for the hood of my ’89 Corvette automobile.

 

Jacky hazarded a smile. Pleasure doing business with you, well, must be off…

 

Wait!

 

Jacky’s smile turned sideways, and wiggled back and forth like a horseshoe.

 

Where may I pick up my fine new musical fashion accessory of choice of this?

 

Oh, right, mumbled Jacky. The thingy. That one. Yes. Check under the privy.

 

Excellent! I shall do so straight away! The gibbertroll shambled off.

 

Jacky ran like electric hellfire. Only when he was over 300 miles away, panting heavily in a Parisian bodega, did he risk a smile.

 

No more goblin contractors, he pledged to himself. From now on all my interior decorating shall be done by members of the genus homo.

 

Bigot! yelled a passing goblin, who hit him with a brick.

 

And that is how Jacky died of massive cerebral trauma, but before he did he hallucinated a wonderful garden made of lollies and rainbows. So that’s okay.