by Henry Custer

I have found that any discussion of beliefs or religion inevitably comes down to
me trying in vain to explain 'what I believe'. Actually I suppose it is very simple. I
believe that I DO NOT KNOW!

I don't KNOW how our world began, I don't KNOW if there is a God, I don't
KNOW where I will go after life ends, or indeed, even why we are here. I can only
speculate on the possibilities, all of which are probably wrong.
My problem arises when I attempt to explain that I don't believe anyone else
KNOWS either. That they only blindly follow what has been written ages ago by
unknown persons, then collected into a composite work. Among Christians this is
the Holy Bible. And after a lifetime of brainwashing by our society and
their peer pressure, most people, even the intelligent and educated ones,
eventually succumb to the pressure to accept this book as absolute facts,
which they must now live by.

As in most other religious societies, if you don't 'believe' then you are ostracized.
Perhaps not openly but covertly in subtle ways. Probably much the same way as
being black in a white society. So, there is tremendous social pressure to put
on the act of compliance. To be a part of this society it is almost mandatory that
you follow the herd in actions and beliefs.

The great sadness in my life has been the loss of friends to this insidious
business of becoming a good Christian. It is sad to lose friends and relatives in the
normal course of living and dying. But I find it much more devastating to lose a friend to
Christendom, that is, to the act of becoming 'Saved'. And they are soon lost as a
friend, because when a person accepts the Biblical teaching of the church, he is
compelled to try to convert all those within his hearing. This in turn eventually
makes it unbearable to be in their company and another friendship is lost.

Now, with this increasingly fierce world battle between God fearing Christians
and the Godless Muslims there is even more pressure to publicly make your
beliefs known. (Or is it the fierce battle between the God fearing Muslims and the
Christian infidels?) Depends on where you were born or who your parents were I
suppose. At any rate, I don't find the beliefs of either side to be valid.

I do willingly admit though, that in a way, I do envy those people who have found
inner peace in their belief. If they can honestly be so absolutely sure of a joyous
afterlife that they find all the pain and sorrow of this life to be trivial,
then how can I not envy them? I have known the same feeling for a 93 year old grandmother
who spent all of her waking moments laughing and visiting with imaginary friends and relatives.
Although she could not see or get out of bed by herself, she was totally happy and
carefree. Does this sound good to me? Perhaps, in a perverted sort of way. But being
of sound mind and body, I prefer to make my own choices. And I choose to put my faith
in my own good judgment and abilities. If this belief angers some God at some future
time I stand ready and willing to accept the consequences of my actions and beliefs.

Yes, I will wager my eternity on my belief that no one KNOWS. So if you KNOW
the answers, then I certainly do envy you, but I cannot follow your path, for I DO NOT
KNOW.