SACRIFICE
Author: Kristen
Email for feedback: Send any and all feedback to HerResolution@aol.com
Summary: What if Faith was around during the time of "The Gift"?
Spoilers: The end of “The Gift”.(to be safe) Rated: PG
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of the characters
in this story. They are all owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others.
Don’t even think I presume to own them. I don’t have nearly enough money.
Author’s Notes: I got the idea for this story after
reading one by my friend Moebius. It’s really just an alternate ending to “The
Gift” --- you know, what could have happened if Faith was around. I’m not
really sure what could have preceded this, but I am thinking about writing a
prequel. Just to set the stage.
Thanks: Special thanks to Moebius for offering her
opinion and pretty much being my beta reader! Thanks so much!
Archives: If you want to archive this story, just send me an email and ask.
____________________________________________________________________________
I can feel
the wind tugging at my hair, the electricity crackling beneath my feet. Dawn
bled. The portal’s open. Unspeakable hell is about to be unleashed on this
world, and Dawn wants me to let her jump. I can’t do that. If she dies, I might
as well be dead myself. I’d have failed at protecting her, and I can’t live
with that.
Memories,
words, flash through my mind. I hear the spirit guide’s voice. “Death is
your gift,” she said. I remember telling Giles that Dawn was a part of me.
I remember telling Dawn that her blood is the same as mine. Summers blood. It’s
in me as well as her. We’re the same. Biological sisters or not, we’re one and
the same. I know what I have to do now.
“Buffy…no…”
Dawn whispers to me. I look at her, see the fear and pain reflected in her
eyes, and my heart breaks. But I have to be strong. I have to do this.
“Dawnie I
have to,” I reply, my calm voice betraying my own doubts.
“No you
don’t.”
The voice
startles me, that rich dark tone I know so well. Dawn spins around as I look
behind her, my gaze settling on a familiar figure. Dark eyes, dark hair,
falling around shoulders covered by a black leather jacket. Eyes that should be
full of hatred instead full of…sadness. Resolve.
"Faith.”
She cracks
that little smile I came to hate before, back when she was trying to torture me
and Angel and I played her to get information about the Ascension. That smile
that seems cocky, arrogant. But there’s a bitter edge to it tonight, and I find
myself afraid. Afraid of what she’s going to do. As if by instinct, I step in
front of Dawn, pushing her behind me. I said I’d kill anyone who came near her,
and I wasn’t kidding.
“Come on B,
what are you afraid of? I didn’t come here to hurt the kid.” She looks behind
us, watching the energy from the portal lapping at the edge of the platform.
Her eyes take on a hard look, and she sets her mouth in a firm line. “There
isn’t time for this, but I have to tell you something B.”
Despite my
growing dread, I calmly watch as she walks towards me, that tiny smile growing
on her lips the closer the gets. When she’s just inches from me, she reaches up
a hand and gently pushes my hair back from my face. I shiver at her touch. My
eyes lock onto hers as she smiles again, a smile full of sorrow, and I notice
the faintest glitter of tears in her eyes. Tears that she will never allow to
fall.
“This isn’t
your day B. It isn’t your time,” she says slowly, as if trying to make sure
she’s chosen the right words. “There are too many people who need you, who love
you. It isn’t your time.”
I frown at
her, looking back over my shoulder quickly to Dawn’s frightened face. “What are
you saying Faith? Are you saying I should kill Dawn because the world needs me
to fight the evil? You’re telling me to be selfish and continue to live my life
at the cost of hers?” I glare at her, pushing her hand away. She looks hurt,
and I instantly feel guilty.
Faith
shakes her head, lowering her eyes, and I find myself wishing that she’d look
back up and not hide her face. I never realized how beautiful she is before…
“No B, I’m not telling you to sacrifice Dawn. I could never tell you to do
something that would hurt you so much. I couldn’t bear that.” She pauses,
biting her lip and looking vulnerable, a look I’ve never seen on her face
before. She’s always the tough one, always the one to say the hell with the
rules. To do things her way. “But you aren’t the only one who has the burden
--- the gift --- of having to save the world by whatever means
necessary.”
I search
her eyes, which are now so full of sadness that it feels like I’m drowning in
them, in those dark depths. Realization sets in, and I can feel my own eyes go
wide. “Faith…no. You can’t mean…no. I can’t let you do that.”
“Why B?
Because you have to be the one to save the world?” For a split second, her face
softens. “It isn’t always up to you B. You aren’t the only Slayer in the
business.” She looks back at the portal, and her face hardens again. “Destiny’s
a bitch, but she has other plans for you. And they don’t involve you throwing
your life away here.”
I can feel
the tears brimming in my eyes, and she looks at me again with a sad smile,
reaching up to brush away her tears. “Don’t. Don’t make it hard B. I know what
I have to do --- you know what I have to do. Neither of us likes it, but
what can we do? Seems to be the job of the Slayer to sacrifice the one she
loves to save the world.”
As soon as
the words leave her mouth, I know they’re true. I sacrificed Angel --- sent him
to hell --- to save the world. Now…now I have to let Faith do this, let Faith
sacrifice her own life to close the portal and return the world to some
semblance of normal. And it hurts me so much I can hardly breath. Why didn’t I
realize before what Faith meant to me? Was I afraid to admit it?
She brushes
a few more tears from my face, then slowly leans forward and presses her lips
against mine briefly, so fleetingly I can hardly believe it even happened. Then
she’s looking me in the eye again, pushing away my hair. “But…Faith how will
this close the portal? It has to be…Dawn’s blood has to close it. Summers blood
has to close it. How…?” I can’t finish the sentence. If she dies and it’s all
in vain, then what have we accomplished?
But she
only smiles, cupping my face in her hand. She’s changed so much, she’s so
different from the Faith I used to know. “We're Slayers, you an' me. When one
dies and the next one's called, a part of the one who died still remains in the
new Slayer. I'm a part of you B. Always will be.”
She looks
at me for one more moment, then turns to run. Time seems to slow, and my vision
is blurred so much by tears that I can barely see her. Vaguely I can feel
Dawn’s hand on my arm, holding me back from rushing after Faith. As I watch,
she reaches the end of the platform and jumps, the wind blowing her dark hair
around her face as she falls…
****
It feels
like an hour has passed between the time she jumped and the time it takes me
and Dawn to get down the tower. The memory --- only minutes old --- of her
falling, energy playing over her body like water, is burned into my mind.
Tears are
stinging in my eyes as I look at her body lying broken on the ground. Her head
is turned to the side, but there is no pain on her face. Only a tiny smile. A
smile that, given time, I could have grown to love. Now these feelings that I
have, this maelstrom of emotion roiling in my veins, can never be fully
realized.
Never will
she know that I loved her.
I walk over
and kneel by her side, reaching to push a few strands of dark hair from her
pale face. Tears are scalding my skin as they run down my face, dropping onto
my hands. Why does my life always do this? Why must the person I love always be
sacrificed to save the world? Why?
I feel a
hand on my shoulder, and turn to see Dawn looking at me with an anguished
expression. She never knew Faith, but she knows --- without words --- how
deeply I cared for her. How deeply I still care. She manages a small smile,
then turns and looks behind her. I follow her gaze. Spike, Xander, Anya, Giles,
Willow and Tara are looking at me, a different kind of pain on the face of
each. I know none of them ever liked Faith much, but they know she sacrificed
herself so I could live. So I could stay with them.
They’re thanking her for that.
I look back
at her, the tears gathering in my eyes again. Then, ever so slowly, I lean
forward and gently press my lips against her cheek. Then her lips. I brush my
fingertips over her forehead. I close my eyes and silently bid her goodbye.
I stand.
Day is breaking over the horizon. Another day is beginning. We can carry on
with our lives. Because of the sacrifice of one. My eyes linger on Faith’s body
one last time, knowing that, since she has no family, it’s up to us to see her
laid to rest. But there’s one more thing I have to tell her, even if she’ll
never know. My voice is barely a whisper.
“Faith…I love you.”
The End
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