We are a "couple", but we are a couple made up of individuals. We have likes and interests that are different. Our differences can compliment one another if we work a little harder on simply allowing them to do so. When Fogy's' gone on his despicable business trips for "Motif", I can be doing things, that I'd otherwise usually not have the chance to do when he's here; in that I have so much to do taking care of us. Although I have to give him credit in that; he deserves it. He Has been doing more house work. He started last Saturday washing the dishes after I cook. He even did the wash and put everything away. (which is something he never does) I was very pleased, but shocked by those things. He just needed to see, that I was making some effort to be more self sacrificing and give him more than I try to take from him. I feel he also needed to see firsthand, that I would at least try to stop putting so many limits and restrictions on him and trying to turn him into me, instead of just letting him be himself. Now that he's seen for himself, that I am at least trying to do that; he's become much more willing to give more back in return, even when; he knows I don't expect it to happen. Therefore I must admit , that he is making as much progress for me as he sees me trying to make for him.

I wish I'd figured out earlier, that all I had to do instead of complaining was let him be himself. I've even been getting a lot more passionate lovemaking, instead of just plain, old, mechanical sex like I was getting most of the time before. He's really doing a lot more to give to me and our relationship; because he sees me trying so hard to let him just be who he is for himself instead of who I want him to be for me. I still don't understand his undying need for extra time without me(especially with Avery), when he gets what to me is plenty of time without me around, on his business trips. Maybe he just wants time alone and away from

me without the distractions and difficult diversions, that I can so often create. That could be why he doesn't seem to have any desire to take any trips away ,for even a weekend, just with me. He may feel that, I would inhibit him from enjoying himself. I think I've found yet another area in our relationship, that I'm going to have to work on changing if I want him to feel, that he can have a good time ding things with me. I feel I need to put more effort into being more fun. I don't think he finds me at all boring. I think, that maybe he finds me interesting in a very complicated way and he wants me to be interesting in a simpler, less complex kind of way. I think I need to put more effort into being patient with things, that aren't always "fun right now" instead of giving up things so easy. I don't think that's a part of me, that he admires very much. I don't blame him for that; I don't like it in others either. So many changes to make; they seem so overwhelming at times. I will however, find a way to make them.

So mote it be.