<R R R I I I I N G !> <R R R I I I I N G !> <R R R I I I I N G !>
Robdalf rubbed the sleep from his eyes and glanced at his caller ID before
answering the phone. "Hello, Frodoug," he said, letting an irritated sigh
escape. "What can I do for you at this late hour?"
How DOES that man always know when it's me, Frodoug wondered to himself. "I
'm sorry to call so late, Robdalf. It's just that I've found something
rather unusual on my hard drive, that I thought you would want to hear about
right away."
"Frodoug," Robdalf replied, with a failing attempt at keeping the irritation
from his voice. "It's almost midnight. I'm sure that whatever you've found
can."
"It's a Redemption list," Frodoug quickly interrupted. "I was deleting some
old files to make room on my hard drive, and I found this obscure Excel
file. Figuring that it was just trash, I tried to delete it. But instead,
I found it opened on my screen. Now, every time I try to throw it away, it
is restored from my recycle bin and opened up on my screen. It does it all
by itself! Or maybe I keep saving it." Taking a deep breath, Frodoug
closed his eyes and desperately shook his head to clear his thoughts.
"Hmmm.," replied Robdalf thoughtfully, sitting up with a sudden interest.
"That is peculiar, indeed. Is there anything written in the top left
square?"
"No," replied Frodoug, scrolling to the top of the screen. "The A1 square
is blank."
"Are you certain, Frodoug? ABSOLUTELY certain? Look closely. This is VERY
important.
"Well, yes, I'm pretty sure. It's just a white box with. Hold on! It
appears to be. Yes! Bless my soul! It's a secret message. It was written
with white text on a white background. I'm really quite good with."
"What does it say," interrupted Robdalf, with a forceful sense of urgency
rising in his voice.
"It appears to be a poem. It says,
One List to rule them all, One List defines them,
One List to take them all and by brigade align them.
Robdalf, do you have any idea what. <CLICK!> Hello?.
Robdalf?..." With a sigh, Frodoug hung up the phone. "That man seems to
come and go as he pleases." Directing a final frown toward the phone,
Frodoug turned his attention to the list on his screen. "What DO we have
here? Hmmm. It's a card list, alright. But what does it." Frodoug blinked
his eyes twice and began to study the list again. "Wow. This is an
incredible list. Not only does it have all the information from standard
stats to artists to references of EVERY card, but it also lists them both
alphabetically AND by brigade. It even lists card types and categories!
All searchable and cross-reference-able! It's ALL here. Prophets.
Male/Female. Specific/Generic. Fought in an earthly battle. Associated
with David. It lists EVERYTHING! With a list like this, I could create a
deck that would dominate the game! I could win EVERY tournament I entered!
Regionals! Nationals!! With this list, I could even rival the game creator
himself!! WITH THIS LIST, MY PRECIOUS LIST, I COULD."
Frodoug let out a startled cry as two hands firmly grasped him
by the shoulders and shook him to attention.
"Robdalf! How did you.? How long was I.?"
"Silence, you fool!" exclaimed Robdalf, with a fiery intensity
barely contained by his eyes. "Is it SECRET? Is it SAFE!!"
"Is what safe? What do you."
"The List, you fool! The ONE List. Have you done anything with
it, yet?"
"No. No, it's right there on my computer. But I don't
understand. What is this all about?"
"That list is no ordinary list, my lad," replied Robdalf.
Taking a seat, the panic seemed to relax and fade from his voice. "It is
The ONE List. Created by the mighty Koron himself. With that list, Fat Man
and Little Boy were forged. It is a list to list all lists. The poem you
found is actually just a few lines from a larger stanza. It goes something
like this:
Many lists by Bryon Hake to categorize
One for the Three Lions, for singles sale,
Lots of lists for the Rocket, to alphabetize,
One, by comparison, all others pale,
By the hand of Koron, where the Cactus lies.
One List to rule them all, One List defines them,
One List to take them all and by brigade align them.
By the hand of Koron, where the Cactus lies."
Frodoug let out a muffled gasp. "Wow. The ONE List. I had no idea. Well,
what do we do now, Robdalf?"
"There is only one thing to do. We must destroy the List. It is too
powerful of a tool for any man to wield.
"But Robdalf, I've tried. It's as if the list does not WANT to be
destroyed."
"We must simply unplug your computer and destroy the hard drive. There is
no other way. We must leave no trace that the list has ever existed."
"My hard drive! Well," resigned Frodoug, with a sigh. "If we must, we
must. First let me log off the internet and."
"What? You're online?! You FOOL!..."
"Hey! I'm tired of being called a fool."
"Quiet, you fool!" Robdalf exclaimed, the mercy fleeing from his eyes. "You
've been online this whole time with The ONE List open? Do you have any
idea what you've just done?! Quickly, it might not be too late. Hand me
that sledgehammer."
But for all their efforts, they would find out that they WERE too late. The
ONE List had escaped, to find a new master. Spreading first to
www.cactusgamedesign.com, then to all the links pages, and from there.the
WORLD!