For you poor Quicktimeless souls....
The Lord of the Rings in 60 seconds
(as told by Hollywood Video)
Bilbo: Frodo, I'm going away and I'm leaving you my magic gold ring.

Frodo: Wow, your ring?

Bilbo: Yeah, hope you like it! Bye! *door slams* *door opens* Oh, and the ring is cursed.  *door slams*

*Knock knock knock*

Frodo: Hi, Gandalf!

Gandalf: Hey, nice ring!

Frodo: Yeah!  And it's cursed!

Gandalf: Really?  Does it have an inscription of ancient evil?

Frodo: Let's see.  It says, "Brendan and Tanya forever!"

Gandalf: No, under that.

Frodo: Oh.  Here it is.  "If found, please return to Sauron, Lord of Darkness."

Gandalf: Ooh, that's bad.  The Lord of Darkness probably has evil henchmen looking for it right now!

*Knock knock knock*

Frodo: Who is it?

Sing-song voice: Evil henchmen!

*Door opens*

Frodo: Yes, what can I do for you?

Evil Henchman: The Lord of Darkness has lost his Ring of Evil.  Do you have it?

Frodo: Noo...

Evil Henchman: uuh, what about his Sunglasses of Evil?

Frodo: Nope.

Evil Henchman: His keys to the Evil-mobile?

Frodo: No, sorry.  I have to go now. Bye!

Evil Henchman: uh, wait, what about his Umbrella of Doom?

*door slams*

Evil Henchman: *voice muffled* His Galoshes of Wickedness?  Hello?
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