Yes, it is finally time for another shitty-ass update. I know it has been
quite the longness. But, the truth is. . .Ratchit is no longer a band. We
didn't officially break up, but we just put it on the shelf. Goatey and Joey
had a bitter feud last summer. . .Goat, Joey, and Spazz were all hanging
around the post office (their usual hangout) one day, burning innocent
little stones with a magnifying glass. Well, Goat and Spazz were doing that -
Joey was humping something (actualy a lot of thing). Anyhow, out of nowhere,
three cute little penguins came walking down the road. Joey instantly pulled
his Italian pecker out of a hole in the ground and ran after them. However,
Goat decided to do the same. While Joey and Goat were pimping on the
penguins, Spazz stayed in the parking lot, listening to Hanson. You see, Spazz
has a masturbating problem (TMS, look for it), so he really can't get off
the same way other people do. At first, it was all good. . .there were three
penguins, so Joey could pork one, and Goat could try to stick it in another,
and the third one would just sit beside the others and masturbate. But, Joey
spooges after about 15 seconds. So he boofed his penguin about 28 times
before she got sick of him, then he tried to do Goat's penguin because the
undid one was pretty skanky, and wasn't hairy, and Joey can't do non-hairy
females. Well, Goat has had enough skanks in his time, so he tried to fight
the Whop. Bad Idea. I can't exactly tell you what all happened. . it was all
a bit hazy, but something about a hot dog in some buns, or something. . .
and bleeding. . .screams. . .shouting. . .well, piece it together yourself.
Anyhow, after that, it just wasn't the same. So, Goat broke away and
tried some solo work. Joey and Spazz started a band, but never played.
Spazz has been playing with quite a number of other people, but none
compare to the gayness of RATCHIT. We will post links to those bands'
sites if they ever come around. As for the site. . .not much to update.
Maybe when Spazz is bored, he will redesign. Plus, we will try to clean up
the guestbook, so all of gay fat Matt's entries are gone, leaving only the ones
about Goat being a sexy Aryan loveweasel. Yes, all the rumors circulating
are true. Spazz did serve time for humping a bunch of little kids'
shoes at KMart. But that's all in his past now. From all of us, and from
rabid fans of Jell-O!,
Keep humping!

ENTER

download the "jap song"
(right click, and click on "save link as")
(sorry, it's all there is. . .)