My name is radar.
I am an un-celebrated author. In my journey of life I have come across many roads, many substances, many situations, and many passions. The love of beauty has kept my eyes wide, and my spirit restless. The only problem is that no one really knows where I have been, or what I have done.
I will admit that there are many moments I am not proud of. Still, there were even more moments of absolute clairity, and a soul could see the meaning of the world. It is not a problem that has to be figured out, like most poets and angst driven massiah's claim. Rather it is a way of processing thoughts and stimulation in a way that is beneficial to both mental and physical brain activity. The vision is the way to organize and "re-program" the mind.
For me, the hardest struggle was my battle with my-self, and the psychological disease known as depression. I was diagnosed as obsessive-cumpulsive in 1995, but they have had all sorts of names for it since I was a boy. It has been a defining part of my life. The truth, or the vision, was that it was something I believed. It was that childhood lesson I would have done better to skip, if only I was old enough to know it.
Put these elements together, and mix with life (living, loving, and loathing)and you will get a simple pastry that makes you higher than a free bird, and lower than a black hole in almost a perfect cycle based on the full moon. Under that full moon you will find me, radar, sitting at a local pub, hopefully close to some body of water, hopefully with a snoot full, writing something on a napkin or a notebook that will make me feel useful. On this site, you will be privy to many of these writings.
Some go deeper than any one could comfortably go, so this is fair warning. Others stay light, and airy, and poetic. Still, everything attempts to make a small statement on the condition of life, and the search for happines.
The real reason for this site is to help me delve into my past, and reorganize the process of self-destruction I used to break free from normal conforms. Today, I know what I believe, and I can scarcely believe the child I was. Have I mentioned angst driven messiah's yet?
Here I shall archive, and organize every cocktail napkin and journal entry I have ever made. Hopefully, it will bear some form of fruit. Hopefully, you will not mind so much, and shall be gentle with praise. Don't forget to sign the Guestbook!!
Radar 3064
*All material on this site is considered copywrite on or before 12-06-2000