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"I want to ride a real horse," Byron remarked, turning to glance at his mother. She was standing in front of the sink, washing the last of the lunch dishes as Brian dried them and stacked them on the shelves. "I'm big enough."
"Me, too. I'm big enough, too," Katie added.
"Oh, you are, are you?" Michaela said, handing a cup to Brian. "Well, we'll have to see."
"We can take them out today, Ma," Brian said.
"I'll have to think about it," she said, drying her hands on her apron. "They're so young."
"I was about their age when Matthew first took me ridin' with him," Brian said.
Michaela eyed him. "That's nice. I said I'll think about it, Brian."
"That means no," Byron spoke up dejectedly.
"We'll talk about it another time, all right?" Michaela replied, reaching up and pulling down a sack of flour from the shelf. "Would you like some cookies to eat with supper tonight?"
Katie grinned. "Yeah!"
Michaela smiled. "Good. We'll use the recipe Faye gave us." She glanced at the sack of flour, brow suddenly furrowing. "Brian, look at this," she said, touching her fingers to a gnarled and frayed corner of the sack.
"Oh, no," he murmured. "Somethin' ate through it. A mouse I bet."
"A mouse!" Michaela said, grimacing. "Don't tell me we have rodents in the cabin now."
"We got a mouse in the house?" Byron asked excitedly, abandoning the rocking horse and walking to his mother's side. "Let me see."
"I don't like mouses," Katie said fearfully, wrapping her arm around the baby. "Jack doesn't either."
"Jack," Michaela murmured, walking to the rocking horse and lifting him off of it. "I don't want you on the floor, sweetheart. Not with mice down there now."
"Don't worry, Ma. I'll build a trap," Brain said.
"Can I help?" Byron asked.
Brian smiled. "Sure. Between you and me, B., we're gonna have that mouse caught in no time."
"Good. I hope so!" Michaela said, hugging Jack protectively. "No cookies today I'm afraid. We can't use that flour."
"Dr. Mike! Dr. Mike!" Faye shouted, hurrying across the clearing and knocking on the door of the cabin.
Michaela handed Jack to Brian and immediately opened the door as the children turned to watch curiously.
"Faye? What is it?" Michaela asked, leading her inside and shutting the door after her.
"Somethin's wrong with the baby," Faye said quickly, handing the gurgling little girl to Michaela.
Michaela walked back to the table, laying the infant on the edge of it as the children gathered around her.
"She looks happy enough to me," Brian remarked, taking the baby's tiny hand. She squeezed his finger tight and focused on him. "Hey, Danielle. Hey."
"No, somethin's wrong for sure," Faye said, joining them at the table. "She ain't been able to keep much of anythin' down all mornin'. Every time I feed her she spits it all up."
Brian crossed the room and grabbed his mother's bag off the mantel, handing it to her. "Here, Ma."
"Thank you," Michaela said, unclasping the bag and taking out her stethoscope.
"What am I doin' wrong?" Faye asked desperately. "Why's she so sick?"
Michaela unwrapped the baby from the thick blankets and quilts Faye had swaddled her in and pressed the stethoscope to her tiny chest.
"Can I listen, Mama?" Katie spoke up, tugging on her blouse sleeve.
"Yes, when I'm finished," Michaela replied, putting the stethoscope back in her bag and pressing her hands to the baby's head. "Well, she's a little warm, but she doesn't act like she has a fever. I believe she's just a little overheated. You had her in several blankets. She probably doesn't need all of them. One or two should suffice."
"The baby's hot, Faye," Byron added.
Faye sunk onto the bench and rested her hands on the table. "I knew I wasn't doin' somethin' right."
"No, it's an honest mistake," Michaela said, patting her shoulder. "And nothing that can't be remedied."
Katie shyly planted a kiss on the baby's head. "Faye? Could I hold her? I'd be real careful."
"Me, too?" Byron said. "Ma says I'm gentle with Jack. Even ask him."
"Go ahead. I don't mind," Faye said absently.
"You can hold the baby a little later," Michaela said. "I want you three to go check on the cow for a few minutes."
"The cow?" Byron blurted. "Why, Ma? What for? She doesn't need checkin' on."
Brian put Jack in his highchair and grabbed Byron's hand, leading him to the door. "Come on, B. You can help me put some fresh hay down. Come on, Kate. You, too."
"But that's no fun," Byron protested.
Brian pulled him out the door. "Just come on."
Michaela waited until the children had shut the door before picking up the baby and gently putting her in Faye's arms. "Let's have you try to nurse her. Just a small amount and then we'll see what happens.
"What if she spits up again?" Faye said, reluctantly unbuttoning her blouse.
"Well, then she spits up again," Michaela said sensibly. "That happens, Faye. It's quite normal. She'll be feeling better in no time and then you can take her home."
"Dr. Mike, could I stay here with you today?" Faye asked quietly, gazing down at the baby as she nursed. "I can't go back there all alone. I don't know where to start with all that needs to be done."
"How are you feeling?" Michaela asked hesitantly. "Any better?"
Faye shook her head, a lump forming in her throat. "Worse. It just gets worse. I can't hardly get out of bed in the morning. Everything I could do so easily before now seems to take such...such effort. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Oh, sweetheart," Michaela murmured. "Nothing's wrong with you. This isn't your fault."
"Then why's this happenin'?" she asked tearfully. "Why do I feel this way?"
"Well, I...I'm afraid we don't know," she admitted.
"Don't make me go back home yet," Faye said dejectedly. "I'm scared. I'm scared to be alone with her. Can't I just sit here and stay a piece with you?"
"Of course you can," Michaela said. "You can come here as often as you'd like. The children can help take care of the baby and you and I will keep each other company."
"Oh, Dr. Mike. I don't know how I'd do this without you," Faye said, grasping her hand.
"Everything's going to be fine," Michaela replied reassuringly. "I'm here, Faye. I'll help you."
* * *
"What ya makin'?" Sully asked, turning from the fire where a kettle of coffee was warming.
Brian tied another knot with the twine, purposely avoiding Sully's eyes. "Nothin'."
"We're makin' a mousetrap, Papa," Byron said, oblivious to the tension between his father and older brother. "We're gonna catch the mouse in the house."
"I hope it works," Katie remarked, seated across from her brothers as she watched them build the trap.
Sully lifted the baby out of his highchair and rubbed his back. "What're ya gonna bait it with, Brian?"
Brian made a few notes on his drawing, swallowing. "I don't know."
"Yes, you do," Byron protested. "You said we're gonna put chocolate in there, Brian."
"Chocolate might work, but how 'bout tryin' birdseed?" Sully asked.
"Ya sayin' my idea ain't good enough?" Brian asked, quickly glancing up at him.
Sully cleared his throat. "Nah, I'm just suggestin' another way of doin' it. I'd like to help."
"You can help, Papa," Byron invited, patting the bench. "Sit next to me."
"No, thanks. I don't need help," Brian said firmly. "I can do this on my own."
Sully backed up a step. "All right."
Brian abruptly rose from the bench and lifted the baby into his arms. "Jack's gettin' tired. I'll put him to bed."
"Thanks," Sully murmured fleetingly as Brian brushed passed him and walked to the trunk, pulling out the baby's warm winter nightshift.
Sully turned back to the fire with a quiet, discouraged sigh, and lifted the kettle off the fire, pouring coffee into two mugs he had set on the table.
"Why's Brian say no you can't help, Papa?" Byron asked quietly. "I want you to."
Sully returned the kettle to the fire and briefly caressed his hair. "It's all right. He just needs some space right now."
"Space?" Katie questioned, glancing around the tiny cabin. "Where's he gonna find any space here?"
Sully chuckled, stooping down and kissing her brow. "You two best start thinkin' about bed, too. Why don't ya get changed while I bring this coffee out to your ma?"
"Can you ask Ma to read us a story when she comes back in?" Byron asked hopefully.
"If you're under the covers by then, we'll see," Sully said, patting his back as the children immediately scurried over to their cots.
Sully picked up the mugs and opened the door to the porch, stepping out onto it. "Kids are gettin' ready for bed," he said, shutting the door and sitting down next to Michaela on the bench. "They want ya to read 'em a story."
"Yes, in a few minutes," she replied absently.
"Ya been out here awhile," he remarked, handing Michaela one of the mugs.
"I can't stop thinking about Faye," she replied. "I'm so worried about her, Sully. And truthfully I'm not sure what to do."
"I don't understand. She was fine before," Sully replied. "Now all of a sudden she can't even milk her cow?"
"More than that," Michaela said, taking a sip of her coffee. "It's escalated into more than just a few chores that she hasn't gotten to. She's told me some things that troubled me."
"Like what?" he asked curiously.
"Well, she says she's frightened to be alone with the baby. That sometimes she feels like she doesn't even want her."
"You worried she might hurt her?" Sully asked.
"No, not necessarily," she said hesitantly. "But when someone is as desperate as she, they might not be thinking clearly. They might do something they later regret." She let out a frustrated sigh. "I went through all the medical books I have here looking for an answer. There wasn't one mention of a woman's emotional health after the birth of her baby. Not one mention of emotions at all."
"You've seen this before," Sully said. "Just try to remember."
"No, I've never seen it like this," Michaela said, shaking her head. "I've seen most women feel a little melancholy for a few days or weeks for reasons we don't understand. You know I went through that myself. When Byron was born...sometimes I couldn't even find the energy to feed him, get out of bed and pick him up when he cried. But I think the melancholy I experienced...it had more to do with grief over thinking I'd lost you, and less with the birth itself."
He placed his hand on her knee comfortingly. "Ya'd been through a lot."
"Faye can hardly take care of herself anymore let alone the baby. Now I'm afraid to leave her by herself at all."
"She's gonna come out of it, right?" Sully said quietly.
"I'm sure she will, eventually," she said. "I just don't know what to do in the meantime. This is real, Sully. This isn't something Faye's made up, as no doubt many doctors would like to believe. She can't feel better no matter how much she wants to."
"I know it's real," Sully said, squeezing her knee. "What Faye needs is somebody like you who ain't gonna discount what she's goin' through, who knows how she feels. Just keep doin' what you're doin'. Keep talkin' to her, spendin' time with her."
She took another sip of the coffee. "Kirk didn't say anything about it at work, did he?"
Sully smiled. "As a matter of fact he did. Told me how much Faye appreciates you helpin' her out like ya have. Says Faye can't believe somebody would do all you're doin' just for her."
She clasped his arm with her hands. "She's my friend. I just want her to feel better. You can tell Kirk that."
"I will. But I don't really want to think about work right now."
"Why not?" she asked, glancing at him with raised eyebrows.
He stood up, grasping one of the posts of the porch. "Galen Clark's been dividin' up the construction company into shares. Says we'll make more money that way."
"That sounds reasonable," she remarked.
"Until I found out who wanted to buy up half the shares," Sully said, taking a swift swig of his coffee.
"Who?" Michaela asked. "Someone we know?"
"Fella out in San Francisco by the name of Ethan Cooper," Sully muttered.
"Ethan?" she blurted.
"Clark signed the contract today," Sully went on. "There was no stoppin' him."
She drew in her breath, the pieces slowly coming together. "Brian seems so hurt there hasn't been a letter from Ethan lately. Ethan used to write him every week. Now they seemed to have all but stopped."
"This would explain why the letters have stopped," Sully murmured.
She sighed. "So you think Ethan was just using Brian for information about Yosemite."
"Afraid so," Sully said quietly.
"Then you were right," she whispered. "I just didn't want to believe it."
"I didn't wanna believe it either," he replied, dumping the last drop of his coffee into the dust. "I tried tellin' Mr. Clark about him but he didn't pay me much mind. Clark ain't got any experience in business. He's enterin' into this blind. But he's stubborn, too. He don't want my thoughts on it even if he says he does."
"I suppose it's his decision," Michaela replied. "You did all you could."
"I know. I ain't so worried about the company. Ethan is gonna bring in good revenue. I just can't stop thinkin' about Brian. I knew Ethan had to be up to somethin' when he started askin' all those questions about Yosemite. All those letters Brian wrote him? He helped Ethan find out things about this place he couldn't get anywhere else." He gazed out at the clearing pensively. "Now that Ethan's got what he wants, he's got no reason to write to Brian anymore."
"Perhaps he may continue to write, at least occasionally. It's terrible to think Ethan's been using Brian all along," Michaela said as Brian opened the door, startling them.
"Jack's asleep," he remarked, glancing at his mother.
Sully slowly turned, clutching his cup.
Brian swallowed hard. "He ain't usin' me. He ain't."
Michaela stood up abruptly and caught Sully's eye, discretely shaking her head. "It's getting late. Let's go inside, Brian."
"We can talk about this another time," Sully added.
"I wanna talk now," Brian shot back. "If you're tryin' to say he's usin' me again you don't know anythin'. You don't know anythin' at all."
Sully took a deep breath. "When's the last time ya heard from him, son?"
Brian averted his eyes. "He's just busy. He'll write me again when he has time."
"Busy buyin' shares," Sully replied.
Michaela slowly lowered her eyes, knowing that Brian had to hear the truth. They couldn't protect him any longer. She took a step back and remained silent, allowing Sully to speak.
"Your pa's been askin' ya about Yosemite, hasn't he?" Sully began.
Brian crossed his arms. "So what about it?"
Sully took a deep breath. "As of today, he's bought up half the shares of the company I work for, Brian. He's investin' in us. We just...we don't want ya to be hurt if ya don't hear much from him again."
Michaela gently clasped the young man's arm. "Perhaps this was just a business deal to him, Brian. That's probably why he wanted to know so much about Yosemite."
"You're wrong," Brian whispered.
Sully swallowed hard, slowly walking up to him. "Brian, ya need to know your ma and I, we wanted things to work out between you and Ethan. We wanted to believe he really had changed."
"No you didn't. You've been hopin' all along he'd just disappear," Brian said vehemently.
"That's not true," Michaela said. "Sweetheart, I know this is very difficult. I know you must be feeling so much right now. Hurt, betrayal, anger even. It's all right to feel that way. I understand."
"Don't tell me what I'm feelin'," Brian replied. "Ya don't understand, Ma. How can ya?" He brushed past them and ventured briskly toward the clearing. "I gotta take a walk."
"Brian, bring your jacket," Michaela called quickly, stepping off the porch.
Sully grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "Let him go."
"Sully, it's chilly out," Michaela protested. "Brian!"
Sully drew her to his side. "Let him go, Michaela. He'll be back."
* * *
"Dr. Mike, I'm gettin' terrible dragged out doin' all this walkin'," Faye said, gasping for breath.
"A brisk walk is very good for the constitution," Michaela explained.
"The constitution?" Faye questioned, raising her eyebrows.
Michaela smiled. "In other words it might help you feel better, Faye."
"If you say it'll help," she replied, ducking under a tree branch and struggling to keep up. "Dr. Mike, you sure the baby's all right back at your cabin?"
"Oh, yes," Michaela replied. "Brian helped me take care of all three of my children when they were younger. He's very good with infants."
Faye nodded as she tried to catch her breath. "You're all so kind to me."
Michaela slowed to a stop. "Let's rest here. That was very good, Faye. How do you feel?"
Faye grasped the trunk of a tree for support. "Tired!"
Michaela spotted a small pile of fallen rocks, small patches of moss growing along the edges, and led her over to it. "Here, sit down. Drink some water." She lifted her canteen over her head and handed it to the girl.
Faye took a sip of the water and gazed at Michaela hopefully. "Walkin' like this...you think it's gonna work? I mean, will it cure me?"
"I don't know," Michaela replied quietly. "Exercise seems to help some of the patients I've seen with melancholia back in Colorado Springs. I think it's definitely worth a try."
"You must have had lots of patients there," Faye said, taking another sip of water. "A big town like that."
Michaela sat down beside her, nodding. "I often wonder how they've been doing this year."
"Ya miss them?" Faye asked perceptively.
Michaela quickly shrugged. "It's not that so much. I just miss the town itself I suppose."
Faye glanced around as a pair of bluebirds perched themselves on a tree nearby. "You miss the town? But ain't it nice out here? It's so peaceful and quiet."
Michaela folded her hands as she struggled to put into words the strong feelings she continued to hold for Colorado. "It's very peaceful out here, of course. Often it seemed like there wasn't any peace in town. Everyone knew everyone's business, which was difficult sometimes...but it was also a comfort."
"That was a comfort?" Faye questioned. "I wouldn't like that one bit."
"Well, when anyone was sick Grace-the woman who runs the café-she would always come by with some hot soup," Michaela explained wistfully. "The reverend would lead prayers at our church. Brian would come over after school to read to my patients. And when Brian was very young, he fell from a tree and hit his head. I had to operate, and the entire town worked together to show us they cared. I'm not sure how I would have gotten through that without their help."
"Sounds nice," Faye said with a smile. "Still, I s'pose if I had to choose, I'd rather live out here than in a town like Silver Cliff or Colorado Springs."
Michaela cleared her throat. "But don't you feel like you're doing chores all day? Don't you ever get tired of opening cans all the time? Don't you ever just want to walk down the street to the mercantile for fresh fruit and vegetables, or go to a proper Sunday church service, see children off to school with a real teacher, or just take a book home from the library?"
Faye bit her lip pensively. "Well, I can't read so I don't much miss a library. And I s'pose what with the baby now and all, I don't have time to think about anything like that."
"Time. There's no time," Michaela went on softly. "As soon as I've finished the chores and taken care of the children, tried to teach them a few lessons, and cleaned up after everyone, it's time to go to bed and start it all over again the next morning."
Faye slowly nodded. "I suppose it does take up a lot of time. But that's the way it's always been. The men go off to work and us womenfolk tend to the homes. I feel real useful, runnin' a cabin the way I've been doin'. I'm important to our family."
"Of course," Michaela said. "I don't mean to imply that it's not a very important job. Everything we do each day is essential in order for everyone to be fed and clothed and happy. But sometimes I think...I want more than this."
"What more could ya want, Dr. Mike?" Faye blurted. "Ya got Sully, four sweet children and a fine cabin for all of ya to live in! You and Sully, that's how Kirk and me want to be when we've been married awhile and got a handful of children." She smiled sheepishly. "You still seem so in love."
"I'm not in love with this place like he is," Michaela whispered.
"What're ya sayin'? Ya don't like it here?" Faye questioned. "You never let on to me."
"No, it's not that I don't like it," Michaela said uncomfortably. "I...I don't know what it is. It's several things."
"Ya oughta talk to Sully," Faye said.
"No, I can't tell him that," Michaela said quickly.
"Kirk and me always say if somethin' is on our minds, the best thing to do is just let it out. Lord knows how many times I made Kirk listen to me get somethin' off my chest. But I figure every time it brings us closer."
"Faye, don't mention this conversation to my husband, or Kirk. He may tell Sully," Michaela pleaded. "I just can't burden Sully with this. Besides, we'll only be here two more months." She forced a wide smile. "I like Yosemite. I do. Very much. It's ... it's wonderful here." She patted her hand. "And I'm so glad that you and Kirk have moved nearby."
Faye smiled and stood up. "I'm real glad we got you and Sully for our neighbors, Dr. Mike."
* * *
Sully took a bite of his sandwich and watched the young man sigh and wrinkle his brow in deep thought. Kirk hadn't even picked up his lunch tin, so busy was he studying the pages of the catalogue.
"What're ya lookin' for, Kirk?" Sully finally spoke up curiously.
Kirk slowly glanced up. "Nothin'. Just tryin' to decide somethin'. Say, maybe you could help."
"Sure. I'll try," Sully replied, swallowing the last bite of his sandwich and brushing off his hands on his buckskins.
"Well, it's Faye's birthday comin' next week," Kirk explained. "I've been savin' up to get her somethin' nice. Somethin' really special. I got it narrowed down to the dress or the pot and pan set."
"Let me see," Sully said, taking the catalogue from him.
"That's the dress," Kirk said, pointing at a sketch of a long gown. "It says here it's forest green with lace at the neck, and has a small train. If it was your wife havin' a birthday, what would you get her, Sully?"
"I'd go with the dress," Sully said firmly, handing the catalogue back to him.
"But Faye does like to cook," Kirk replied. "She'd find some pots and pans mighty useful."
"Trust me," Sully replied, opening his canteen and taking a swig. "Get the dress."
"All right, I will," Kirk replied with a smile. "Thanks, Sully."
"What day's her birthday?" Sully asked.
"Tuesday," Kirk said, closing the catalogue and tucking it under his arm. "Wait, don't tell her I told you. She made me promise not to let on to a soul it's comin' up."
"That Tuesday why don't the two of you and the baby come out to our cabin for supper?" Sully asked. "I'll ask Michaela to surprise Faye with a cake."
"Really? Ya think Dr. Mike would make her a cake?" Kirk replied.
"Sure she would," Sully replied. "What do ya say?"
"I'd say that sounds like fun," Kirk said. "It'll be like a surprise party. I think it'd do Faye some good."
Sully nodded with a smile. "She can wear the new dress you're gettin' her."
"Sully!" Harper called as he walked over to the campfire, his clipboard in hand. "Sully, do you have a few minutes? I'd like to talk to you about something very important."
Kirk rose to his feet and picked up his lunch tin. "I best be gettin' back to work."
Harper grasped the young man's shoulder and nudged him back down to the log. "Actually, Kirk, I want you to stay. You should hear this, too."
Intrigued, Sully pressed the cork into his canteen and put it at his side. "What do ya wanna talk to me about?"
Harper stroked his chin pensively. "You know, Kirk coming out here last Christmas had me thinking. You like it here, don't ya, Kirk? A fine place to raise a family?"
Kirk glanced up at him with confusion. "Well, sure. A real fine place. Faye and me was just talkin' about addin' on to the cabin. It's our home now."
"Good, that's how I want it," Harper said, slowly taking a seat across from the men. "Sully, you've done superior work for us these past several months. You've proven yourself up to the task on many occasions and you're a natural leader. We're going to miss you greatly when you leave."
Sully gazed out at the mountains reverently. "I know I'm gonna miss it, too. Fact is, I ain't sure how I'm gonna leave."
"Exactly! You don't have to!" Harper replied. "I've decided I want you to live here, like Kirk and the other men. Your family, too, of course."
Stunned, Sully quickly returned his eyes to his boss. "You're askin' me to work for ya...permanent?"
"Permanent," Harper replied with a smile. "I don't know why I didn't think of this before. I suppose I just assumed you would want to go back to Colorado Springs. But you seem so happy here and you've certainly been a wonderful addition to the team. Then it suddenly dawned on me. Why not ask you to stay? It couldn't hurt to ask, could it?"
Sully slowly smiled. He hadn't been looking forward to the end of the year. He was enjoying his job, he liked working beside Kirk again and he felt like an important member of the team. Settling in a place like Yosemite, in the quiet of the woods amongst all the spectacular scenery, was all he had ever dreamed of for his family. Giving it all up to go back to odd jobs in Colorado Springs didn't sound very appealing. He had known for some time that if the opportunity arose, he would want to stay longer.
"Oh, and there's one more thing," Harper spoke up. "If you agree to live here and continue working for me, I'm going to give you a ten percent raise. Just a little added incentive there."
"Ten percent? Mr. Harper, that's too much," Sully protested.
"Don't argue with me. Just think about it. Take some time."
"I will," Sully replied.
Harper stood up, extending his hand. "Whether you stay or not, I've been happy to have you this year."
Sully shook with him firmly. "Ya don't know how happy I've been, too."
Kirk watched as Harper turned around and strolled back to his tent. He waited until the man walked inside before slapping his hands on his thighs and letting out an energized laugh. "I'll be, Sully! You're stayin' after all!"
"I didn't agree to it yet," Sully replied.
Kirk eyed him curiously. "Why wouldn't ya? This is what ya wanted, ain't it?"
"Sure, but...I got the family to consider," he murmured.
"Well, they like it here well enough," Kirk said. "They're gonna be so excited. Wait until ya tell Dr. Mike!"
"Michaela's the one I'm worried about," Sully said pensively. "I ain't sure how she's gonna feel about it. She may be ready to be out of here come spring."
"Why? She say somethin' to you?"
"No, not outright," Sully replied. "But I got this feelin' she's been missin' Colorado Springs more than she lets on."
"It's her doctorin', ain't it?" Kirk replied. "She misses all the patients she must have had."
"She's been so happy helpin' out Faye and the baby. It's all she talks about," Sully murmured. "That's what she did every day at her clinic in Colorado Springs, help folks."
"Well, then if Dr. Mike can't go back to her clinic, we'll just have to bring her clinic here."
"What do ya mean?" Sully asked.
"You and me can build her a little doctor's office. I saw one once in Dallas," Kirk said. "We can put it up next to your cabin and then when Faye brings the baby over to see her they can go into the office just like they was in a big city."
Sully slowly warmed to the idea. "If men on the team take sick, we can bring 'em out to her office."
"Right," Kirk replied. "I know Harper has the contract with the doc in Fresno and all, but what Yosemite needs is a doctor right here. Can't think of no better one than Dr. Mike."
"I think she would really like an office like that," Sully said. "We can tell her about it when ya come for supper."
"That's a perfect time," Kirk replied. "You and me can tell everybody about this together. Sully, ya just need to point out to Dr. Mike how good stayin' on is gonna be for all of us. Soon as she sees that, sees what a grand office we're gonna build her, she's gonna love stayin' here. She won't wanna leave."
"I hope you're right," Sully replied.
"Kirk, he played his fiddle every Sunday at church with a few other fellas," Faye explained, patting Danielle's back. "Played us real nice hymns."
"In the quartet, darlin'," Kirk said helpfully.
"Am I tellin' this or are you?" she said with a playful smile.
He rubbed her back, gazing at her new brilliant green gown with a proud grin. "You are. Go on."
"So anyway, my pa and I, we didn't always make the long ride out to church every Sunday. But I started to think maybe I would come a little more often."
"'Cause ya saw me," Kirk added, eyeing her lovingly. "And were real smitten."
"You were smitten on me first, Kirk," she replied.
"No, you were smitten on me first," he said firmly. "You was the one that asked if I was goin' to the social, honey."
"Yes, but you was the one that took a whole day off from work to get a haircut and shave and come out to the farm with flowers behind your back to pick me up," she said wryly.
"It wasn't a whole day," he said. "More like half a day."
Faye clasped his hand. "All right, Kirk. Whatever you say. Anyway, we went to the social and before we knew it we was engaged and married and now we're here."
"That's a very romantic story," Michaela spoke up, resuming her seat beside Sully with a smile.
"How'd you and Sully meet, Dr. Mike?" Kirk asked, adding a few spoonfuls of sugar to his coffee and stirring it.
Sully put his arm around Michaela's back. "She was covered in mud and it was love at first sight, ya might say."
"We didn't exactly meet then, Sully," Michaela said disapprovingly. "We didn't formally converse until you rented the old homestead to me and took me out there."
"And then next me and Katie and Jack got born," Byron spoke up.
Michaela chuckled. "No, not quite that fast, Byron. First I had to fall in love with your papa and then marry him."
"But she loved me right off," Sully remarked.
"I would say it was more gradual, Sully," Michaela contended. "We were just good friends for quite some time. But I think when you came to my birthday party that first year...well, then I was certain I...I liked you."
"Just liked me?" Sully asked, crossing his arms and eyeing her with raised eyebrows.
"All right. Liked you a lot," Michaela said with a mischievous grin as Faye, Kirk and the children burst into laughter.
"Speakin' of birthdays," Kirk spoke up, winking at Michaela.
"Oh, yes," Michaela murmured, quickly standing up and walking to the counter.
"Kirk, you didn't!" Faye accused. "You weren't supposed to tell nobody!"
He gave her a soft kiss. "You can't have a birthday without a proper party."
"So that's what this supper was about," Faye said, shifting the baby to her other shoulder. "And ya'll knew all along!"
"I kept it a secret, Faye!" Katie spoke up, pressing her finger to her lips.
"Me, too!" Byron added.
Sully tickled the children feverishly, sparking a series of giggles from them. "Ya did real good."
Michaela lit a candle on a small cake with vanilla icing and carried it over to the table. "Happy birthday, Faye."
Faye sighed, staring at the candle. "I don't believe this. Ya'll did this for me."
"I made the cake with your recipe," Michaela said, sitting back down. "Without all the help you've given me in the kitchen I'm not sure if I could have managed it."
"Make a wish, Faye," Brian spoke up.
Faye closed her eyes for a brief moment and then blew out the candle as everyone clapped enthusiastically. Kirk pulled the cake plate toward him and picked up a knife, slicing it down the middle as Brian began handing him small plates from a stack Michaela had put on the table.
"I'm afraid we don't have a present for you," Michaela said. "You kept so quiet about your birthday we didn't even know about it until Kirk mentioned it a few days ago."
"That's all right. I don't want a present," Faye said, kissing Danielle's head.
"Here, honey. The first piece is for you," Kirk said, putting a fork on the plate and pushing it toward her.
"Oh, I don't know," Faye said, eyeing the cake reluctantly. "I ain't very hungry."
Michaela patted her hand encouragingly. "Just try a few bites, Faye. You don't have to eat it all."
She picked up the fork hesitantly. "Well, I s'pose I could try."
"I'll eat what you don't eat, Faye," Byron said helpfully.
Sully drew the little boy into his lap. "That's Faye's piece. You'll get your own. A real big one, all right?"
"We don't got a present, but we do got some good news," Kirk said, dishing up the remaining slices of cake and passing them down the table. "Now's as good a time as any, right, Sully?"
Sully smoothed back Byron's hair, glancing up reluctantly. "I s'pose so."
"Well, Sully, it's rightly your news. You tell us," Kirk encouraged.
"Tell us what?" Michaela asked, picking up her fork and slicing off a bite from her piece of cake.
Sully slowly leaned back. "Harper pulled me aside last week, had a talk with me. He likes what I've been doin'."
"He loves what you've been doin'," Kirk corrected.
Sully shrugged. "The point is he ended up offerin' me a raise."
"A raise? That's wonderful," Michaela said, clasping his arm. "You've worked so hard for this."
"A raise on one condition," Kirk spoke up.
Sully took a deep breath, eyeing Michaela. Perhaps what he would tell her would be a shock, but he had faith she would quickly adjust to the idea, especially when she heard about the doctor's office he would build her. "That condition bein', I stay on here. Permanent. Like Kirk's doin'."
Michaela narrowed her brow in confusion. "Stay on here?"
"You mean live here, Pa?" Brian asked. "In Yosemite?"
"That's right. Just like we are now," Sully said, glancing at Michaela with a grin. "He says he doesn't wanna let me go."
"I'm not sure I understand," Michaela said, panic quickly gripping her chest. "You signed on for a year. We signed on with Harper for a year, Sully."
"He changed his mind," he said simply.
"Oh, Dr. Mike. Think of it!" Faye exclaimed. "We'd be true neighbors. Our youn'uns can grow up together. Jack and Danielle, they'll take their first steps out by the waterfalls. The first hike we bring 'em on will be to see the valley. Rowin' on the lake, fishin', watchin' for birds and deer and everythin'. It's the perfect place to raise 'em up, away from things that ain't important."
"Byron's doin' a lot better with his asthma here," Sully added, giving the little boy a loving kiss on his head. "These mountains are doin' everybody good."
"Hey, then we don't have to go to school," Byron cried excitedly. "We can stop doin' lessons!"
"No more boring books!" Katie said with a wide grin.
"I s'pose I could keep writin' about everythin' here," Brian said, warming to the idea. "I could be a naturalist like John Muir."
Michaela shook her head, not knowing where to begin. She realized Sully loved living in Yosemite and in the back of her mind, she had vaguely contemplated that he might not want to leave so soon, but she had never believed it could truly happen. With everyone so excited and looking to her to say something, to smile and be excited as well, she felt backed in a corner. She wanted to be out of the corner and she wanted to go home even more.
"I don't know what to say," she managed to choke out. "This comes as quite a surprise."
"A good surprise," Faye remarked. "Just like this here birthday party for me."
"Well, Dr. Mike, ya know how Faye and me feel about it," Kirk said, swallowing a large bite of the cake. "We'd love ya to stay on. Can't imagine bein' here without all of ya."
"You've been dear friends," Michaela said hoarsely. "But we've lived in Colorado for some time. I've established a medical practice there."
"Sully and me had an idea about that," Kirk said with an optimistic smile. "We was thinkin' we could build you a little office next to the cabin."
"You can still do your doctorin', Michaela," Sully said, taking her hand.
"But...but who's going to come all the way out here?" Michaela blurted, unable to believe all that she was hearing. "Sully, we have to talk about this."
"More families of the workers might be comin' in," Sully replied. "And as visitors start seein' the park, doin' hikin', they're gonna need somebody around for emergencies."
"Sort of a park doctor," Brian added. "It don't sound like a bad idea."
"No one will hire me," she said. "You all know that as good as I. No one is going to hire a woman, Sully."
"Well, I'll tell 'em what ya did for Faye and the baby," Kirk said. "They gotta listen."
"I'll tell 'em, too," Sully added.
"I'll tell 'em, too, Mama!" Katie said enthusiastically.
Michaela stared at her cake, her appetite gone. "Perhaps we should discuss this later, Sully," she said softly. "In private?"
He cleared his throat. "You're right. Another time. How's the cake?"
"Oh, it's wonderful!" Faye said earnestly. "Real tasty, Dr. Mike."
"Thank you," Michaela murmured, forcing herself to swallow a bite. "I'm glad you like it."
* * *
"Papa, no!" he shouted. "No!"
"Get him! Get him!" Katie encouraged, standing nearby and bouncing on her toes.
"You're next, Kates," Sully said, abandoning Byron and grabbing her by the arm.
"You're going to wake the baby up," Michaela scolded from the sink, a soft grin on her face as she watched Sully tickle and taunt the children.
"Shh," Sully said, covering Katie's mouth and tickling her chest. "Kates, quiet! Shh!"
"I can't help it!" she cried, squirming in his arms. "Stop, Papa!"
"What? I can't hear ya," Sully teased, tickling her harder.
"Stop! Please!" she begged, pushing on his arm desperately.
Sully slowly released her, laughing and smoothing her wild hair. "Oh, ya want me to stop."
She fell into his lap and hugged his neck tight. "You are the best tickler, Papa," she said reverently.
Sully picked her up, giving her a kiss. "Mm, I love ya, Katie. Let's get you two under the covers. Past your bedtime." He led them over to their cots and tucked them in, making sure Byron had his stuffed dog and Katie her stuffed bear and giving them each a loving kiss. He crouched beside the cots and watched them doze for a few minutes before quietly standing up and joining Michaela at the sink.
"Brian's brushin' down the horses for the night," he remarked quietly.
"Good," she replied.
He stepped forward. "Can I help ya with this?
"No, that's all right. I'm almost finished," she replied, nodding at the table. "There's one piece of cake left. Why don't you eat it so I can wash the plate?"
"I'll split it with ya," he offered, sitting down at the table and picking up a fork.
"Thank you, but I'm not very hungry right now."
"It was a nice party," he remarked, digging into the cake. "Faye seemed real surprised."
"I was surprised as well," she began slowly. "Very surprised."
"I thought ya'd be happy," he said weakly. "We like livin' here, Michaela."
"You like living here," she whispered, the smallest trace of resentment in her voice.
"Look, I'm real tired," he replied. "It was a long day. I think I'd just like to get some sleep now."
"You're tired?" she blurted, turning from the sink. "And you think I'm not?"
"Michaela, I spent all day crouched on a roof in one position."
"And I spend every day crouched over our children," she retorted. "I've been exhausted since the day we arrived here. I feed them and wash them and dress them and undress them. I change diaper after diaper, give bath after bath. I spend hours helping them through each lesson so they won't have to be caught up when we go back to Colorado Springs. That is if we ever go back now."
Sully drew in his breath, taken aback.
"Then when that's all done," she went on passionately, "there's the washing and the ironing and the mending. There's rugs to be beat, pots and pans to be scrubbed, lamps to clean, water to be boiled and meals to cook. And if there's any time left over after that, I can keep busy worrying about Indians or earthquakes or workers trying to dynamite you out of the job or God knows what else."
"How's this any different?" he asked. "You did all that back home, too."
"It's completely different. We had a stove and a pump and sink in the kitchen and the tasks were much easier to accomplish," she replied. "The children were at school and I was at the clinic for most of the day."
He stood up, grasping her arm. "Where's this comin' from?"
She shook her head tearfully. "I can't do this much longer, Sully," she said shakily. "I'm terrible at it. I can't cook with our fireplace, I can't teach like Teresa does, I can't get along with anyone else that comes out here."
"What're ya talkin' about?" he asked, caressing her arm worriedly. "Michaela, you're doin' fine."
"I tried," she replied. "I can't do this. I was never meant to."
"That ain't true. I've seen ya do anythin' ya put your mind to. It don't matter if there's still dishes in the sink at the end of the day, if the rugs don't get beat, if the kids don't get to all their lessons. It don't mean you ain't no good at this."
"Sully, it's more than that," she said quietly. "There's no stimulation here. All I do is cook and clean and be everyone's mama. There's no one my age to talk to. There's no people anywhere. I love Faye dearly, but she's practically a child. Now I'm taking care of her and her baby and being their mother, too."
"We knew all this goin' in," Sully said. "We knew we'd be alone."
"I know. I suppose I just...I just never imagined it would be like this," she whispered. "I miss our friends. I miss our town and our house. I miss the clinic and everything I put into it. Now another doctor I know nothing about is sitting at my desk and treating the patients I worked so hard to secure. I'm just not...not...."
He swallowed. "You're not what?"
She bit her lip hard, tears slipping down her cheeks. "I'm not happy here, Sully. I wanted to do this for you so much, but I can't. Sully, I'm sorry." She slowly folded her hands. "I thought I could get through it. Just a little while longer, and then we would leave. But now to hear you want to stay...I just, I can't. I can't do it."
"Sit down," Sully murmured, taking her hand and leading her to the bench. "Let's talk about this." He held her hand securely. "This don't mean you're giving up the clinic. Like Kirk was sayin', we wanna build ya a clinic here. More women might need somebody like you, just like Faye did."
"Sully, that's a midwife," Michaela protested. "I was happy to help Faye, but obstetrics has always been just one small part of my practice. If I wanted to deliver babies I shouldn't have bothered to go to medical school."
"You'll find more patients," he replied. "It took folks in Colorado some time to warm up to ya, but they did."
"And I worked very hard for years in order to win their trust. Some people I never won over," she said. "To think of having to start all over again is just so discouraging. I was younger then, bold and determined and tireless. Now I have you and the baby and the children. Starting over is just not something I have the desire to do again."
He sighed. "Michaela, this means everythin' to me. To have somebody like Harper see what I'm capable of and appreciate that. And to be doin' all of it for the park...I've never had work like this. For the first time in my life, I feel like...like I'm makin' a difference. You've always had that, Michaela. I haven't."
"I know it's important to you," she said. "And I'm glad you're enjoying it so much. I know finding work that's satisfying means a lot. It means a lot to me, too. I just didn't expect to be moving here. One year here is one thing, but to live the rest of our lives here?"
"It's got everythin' we want," he replied. "I know now this is where I want to raise our kids."
"I thought you were happy in Colorado," Michaela said. "It's where we're both happy, Sully."
"I don't know about that," he murmured. "Bein' here, it's made me see maybe my ties ain't as strong with Colorado as I thought. That place ain't like it used to be. The railroad's there, it's gettin' crowded, more doctors are gonna be comin' in. But out here, it's just you, Michaela. There's a place for ya here."
"It's also very different here," Michaela contended. "It's dangerous. What if Byron were to become sick again or one of the other children? What would we do? And what about what happened to Katie? One of the children could lose their way in the woods again and perhaps this time...not come back, Sully."
"It ain't anythin' that couldn't happen in Colorado, too," he said.
She stood up abruptly. "You're not listening to me. You aren't hearing what I'm saying."
"You ain't hearin' what I'm sayin'," he said swiftly. "Can't ya see what this place means for us? I want us to stay. I want you to stay with me."
"You're asking me to give up everything. Everything," she said tearfully. "I can't just tell you now what I want to do."
He slowly let out his breath. "Then we'll think about it. Just...just don't say no right away."
"All right. I won't. As long as you don't say yes right away," she whispered.
* * *
"Sully?" she whispered.
"Ma?" Byron whispered back, walking onto the porch in his nightshift and letting the door swing shut.
"Oh. Byron." She smiled tiredly. "What are you doing awake, sweetheart?"
He shyly strolled over to her. "I had to go. Again."
"Come here. It's so chilly. I don't want you catching a catarrh," she said, lifting him into her lap and wrapping the ends of her shawl around him. "You don't have to be out here at this time of night. Why don't you just use your chamber pot?"
"I lost it," he said quickly. "Somebody stole it."
"Someone stole it?" she blurted. "Byron, who on earth would steal a chamber pot?"
"I don't know," he replied. "Maybe the monster took it."
"Oh, I see," she said wryly. "The monster under your bed?"
"Yeah," he reluctantly replied.
"Byron, I think your chamber pot is right there where you last left it. I think you'd just rather not reach under your bed."
"But it's so dark," he said. "You wouldn't wanna put your hand down there either! Please, don't make me do it."
"I won't, but I don't want you walking to the privy all alone at night," Michaela said, sliding him down from her lap and taking his hand. "Come on. I'll go with you."
"You think I'm a baby," he said, lowering his head and following her down the short path to the outhouse.
"Oh, sweetheart. Why would I think that?" she asked. "I think you're just being careful. There's nothing wrong with that." She paused in her steps and stooped down to his level. "When I was your age, my father read me a book about a knight and a dragon, and then for weeks afterward, I was certain there was a dragon living under my bed. But he went away, eventually. And your monster will, too. I promise."
"A dragon!" he exclaimed, bursting into laughter. "There's no dragons under beds, Ma! How would they fit under there?!"
"Well, he was real to me," she protested. "Byron, don't laugh. I was very frightened at the time! I was certain if I got out from the covers he was going to breathe fire on my feet."
He held his belly, giggling harder. "You're funny, Mama."
She caressed his face tenderly. "Mama. I've missed hearing that."
"You miss that?" he questioned.
She nodded. "Very much. But your papa says you're growing up. And I suppose he's right. So if you would rather call me something else, then that's all right with me."
He hung back thoughtfully, then stepped forward and hugged her tight. "No. I like saying Mama better anyways."
Michaela smiled hopefully. "Oh, you do?"
"Yeah," he replied. "I can't get used to anything else."
She chuckled, rubbing his back. "All right."
"Hey, what are you doin' out here?" he asked suddenly, pulling back to search her eyes. "You have to go, too?"
"No, I was just thinking," she said with a sigh. "I couldn't sleep."
"Are you still mad at Papa?" he questioned. "I heard ya yell."
"You heard that?" she said. "We weren't yelling, we were...well, I suppose we were having a small disagreement. I'm sorry if we woke you. The cabin's so small. It's hard to find any privacy to talk."
"Yeah, it's really small sometimes. I hear everything," he replied.
Michaela quickly coughed. "Oh? Wh-what exactly do you mean...everything? What sort of...of things, sweetheart?"
"I don't know. Talkin', laughin'," he said.
"Oh. Oh, good!" Michaela said, breathing a relieved sigh. "I mean, I'm sorry about that, Byron. We'll try to be more quiet after you go to bed."
"You gotta let go of me now," he said. "I need the outhouse."
She grinned, releasing her hold. "Oh, yes. I nearly forgot. I'll wait just outside, all right?"
"All right," he said, opening the door. "Hey, Mama? Thank you."
"Thank you? For what?" she asked.
He thought a moment. "For not makin' me reach under my bed."
She kissed his head and smoothed back his hair. "You're welcome, sweetheart. Thank you for keeping me company out here."
* * *
Michaela pushed the curtains open, handed Jack to Brian and began gathering the breakfast dishes on the table. "Good morning, Faye," she said cheerfully.
Faye slowly turned to face her, face flushed and tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Faye, what's wrong?" Michaela immediately asked, abandoning the dishes and hurrying to her side.
Brian lingered back with the younger children, watching the scene hesitantly.
Faye glanced down at the baby, timidly bringing her hand up to stroke the infant's cheek. "I...I don't know."
"Are you ill?" Michaela pressed. "Is it something with the baby?"
"I don't know, Dr. Mike. I don't know," Faye murmured. "I guess I'm just...just t-tired. She's got a wet diaper again. I best get up and take care of it."
Michaela lifted the baby into her arms. "I'll do it. How does a nap sound? I know taking time to rest for a few minutes always helps me feel a little better."
Faye slowly stood up, pressing a handkerchief to her nose. "I could really use that."
Michaela led her to the bed, pulling back the dismantled covers and patting her pillows. "Go ahead."
"I'm sorry," Faye said, inhaling shakily and sitting on the bed. "I wish I knew why I was cryin'. It seems so silly."
Michaela sat beside her and patted her hand. "I cried, too," she whispered, glancing at the baby. "Sometimes for no reason at all."
"Ya did?" Faye asked hopefully.
"Yes. When Katie was born, I tried to do everything just like before until I realized that just isn't possible. You just have to take things one day at a time. Faye, you've been through a lot of big changes in a short time. Suddenly you have a whole new person to look after. At home, I had Sully and the older children who needed my attention, and my clinic to run, and it took some time to figure out how Katie was going to fit into that. You have your cabin to keep up, and your husband who needs attention, too, and you're trying to fit your own baby into that. It's no wonder sometimes we feel like crying."
Faye smiled softly, slowly reclining to her side. "Yeah. It's a big change."
"One thing I learned is that there's nothing wrong with asking for help," Michaela said, pulling the covers up to her waist. "Rest as long as you need. We'll watch the baby."
"Thank you," Faye murmured, closing her eyes.
Michaela patted her shoulder and then walked quietly to the table in the center of the room.
"Is Faye all right, Ma?" Brian asked, slowly joining her at the table, Byron and Katie following.
"She's very tired," Michaela explained, placing the baby on the table, pulling up the little girl's shift and unpinning her diaper. "Let's keep our voices low so she can sleep."
"Look, Mama. Danielle has girl parts," Byron remarked, pinching his nose and climbing onto a chair.
Michaela chuckled, taking a cloth and wiping between the baby's legs. "That's because she is a girl, sweetheart."
"I like her," Katie said reverently, sitting on the table and stroking the baby's thin auburn hair. "Mama, I've been thinking I need a baby sister."
Michaela raised her eyebrows with a start. "I'm afraid you're not getting one from me. Mama is done having babies!"
"But it's no fair," Katie protested. "There is three boys and just one me!"
"I suppose I didn't plan that very well, did I?" Michaela said, lifting the baby's legs and tucking a clean cloth under her.
"Hey, I got an idea. We could take Danielle home," Byron said, nose still tightly pinched between his fingers. "Then Katie gets a baby sister."
"Ya can't do that. Danielle belongs to Faye," Brian said. "Bad idea, B."
"It is not a bad idea," Byron protested defensively. "Faye don't even like her."
"Doesn't, Byron," Michaela corrected, pinning the diaper together. "And what on earth makes you think that?"
"She doesn't," he insisted, releasing his nose. "She doesn't want to take care of her. You always do the diapers and give her a bath even though Faye is her mama."
"Yeah," Katie agreed. "Maybe you could be the baby's mama. And then she can be my little sister. I'll teach her things, take her up to see the valley and climb trees to look at the eagle nests. I think Faye cries 'cause she doesn't love Danielle anymore and wants to give her to us."
Michaela picked up Danielle and sat down at the table. "That's not why Faye was crying, sweetheart. Sometimes when a woman has a baby, well, she can become quite unhappy about things. It's not because she doesn't love her baby. It just happens and it's something Faye can't help."
"When's she gonna be happy again?" Byron asked quietly.
"Soon, hopefully," Michaela said, rubbing his back. "In the meantime, she needs us to help by taking care of Danielle and the cabin so she can rest. I know if I were sad, Faye would help me."
"Then we can't take Danielle home," Katie said with a disappointed sigh. "I was gonna show her the mountains."
"Katie, Danielle's still going to be very little when we leave here," Michaela explained. "She won't be nearly old enough to hike up a mountain."
"But Pa wants to stay," Brian said.
"That doesn't mean we're staying," Michaela said desperately. "Just because he said that doesn't mean we're going to."
"I like it here now, Mama," Byron said. "I don't want to go home anymore."
"That's just it. This isn't our home. We have a home in Colorado," Michaela insisted. "Have you forgotten everything we had? Don't you miss your friends at school and the town and our house?"
"I'll miss Danielle," Katie said, frowning and grasping the baby's hand. "We should stay here."
"This isn't your decision," Michaela replied, surprised by the curtness in her own voice. "Your father and I have a lot of discussing to do first."
"But Jim and Luke said the pa is the boss," Byron told her. "The ma better do what he says."
Michaela let out a gasp. "Jim and Luke told you that? Well, that may be true in their house, but in our family your mother and father talk things over, Byron. We make decisions together. We planned to return home in the spring from the start, and I don't intend to change those plans just like that."
Brian swallowed hard. "I guess you and Pa do have a lot to talk about."
* * *
"Hold on to the saddle horn, B.," Brian said, helping his little brother stick his right boot into the stirrup.
"Put his foot in tight, Brian," Michaela said worriedly.
"It's in there tight as it can go, Ma," Brian replied.
Michaela guided Byron's left boot into the opposite stirrup. "There you are, sweetheart. How does that feel?"
"Good, Mama," Byron exclaimed, patting the horse's bottom. "Giddy-up! Run!"
Michaela chuckled as she grasped the rope hooked to the bridle. "No running just yet. But I'll take you for a walk around the clearing."
Brian folded his arms and stepped back onto the porch with a smile. "Ya look good, B. You're doin' great!"
Byron beamed, sitting tall in the saddle with a huge grin across his face.
Katie sat beside the baby on the bench and wrapped her arm around his waist securely. "Brian, me and Jack want to ride, too."
Brian tousled her hair. "You're next, Katie, but I think Jack better learn to walk first before he starts ridin'."
"Jack feels left out, Brian," Katie said sympathetically, kissing her little brother's cheek.
Brian picked up the baby and lifted him over his head. "I promise as soon as Jack's big enough, you and me both will teach him to ride. How's that sound?"
Katie smiled, pleased. "Good."
"Oh, there's your papa, Brynie," Michaela remarked as she stopped the horse and scratched its nose. She waved as Sully pulled the wagon into the clearing.
Sully raised his hand back, stopping short as he glanced at Byron high atop their horse. "Michaela!" he called frantically. "What's he doin'?" He pulled back on the reins and jumped down from the wagon.
"Papa, look!" Byron called. "I can ride now! I'm big!"
Sully ran to the horse and pulled Byron off the saddle, holding him close and pressing his head to his shoulder.
"Sully, what's wrong?" Michaela asked, her brow rising in confusion.
"What do ya think you're doin'?" Sully demanded, eyeing her heatedly.
"We finished our schoolwork early today," Michaela explained, bewildered. "I thought I'd take the children outside. Byron and Katie have been wanting to learn how to ride."
"I don't want them up there like that," he replied. "Especially him."
"Why not? I was right here the entire time, Sully. I wasn't going to let anything happen."
"Ya shoulda asked me," he retorted.
"And when was I supposed to ask you?" she said. "You're always at work! I'm the one who's been responsible for the majority of their care."
"Papa, you're squeezin' me too tight. I can't breathe," Byron spoke up quietly.
Sully slowly loosened his hold and set the little boy on his feet. "Go on inside, Byron," he whispered.
Michaela glanced at Brian and Katie, who were watching them with uncertain expressions. "Brian, could you and the children build up the fire for me so I can start supper?" she called.
Brian nodded silently, opening the door and ushering the children inside.
"What on earth has come over you?" Michaela asked, turning her attention back to Sully as the children closed the door. "Sully, I put a lot of thought into what you were saying, about me being afraid to let the children grow up. You were right. I am. Letting them ride today took a lot of courage on my part, and now you're telling me to forget everything you said. To not let them grow up after all."
"That ain't it," he said quickly, turning his back to her and pulling his toolbox out of the back of the wagon. "I just don't want Byron and Katie near the horses."
She cleared her throat, stepping closer to him. "Well, perhaps you and I could ride with them sometime. Certainly, that would be safe. We haven't done something as a family in awhile."
"Thought you were too busy with chores," he said quietly.
She sighed. "Our family is important to me. I put them first."
"Ya sayin' I don't?" he asked.
"No, of course not," she blurted. "I'm just saying, whatever decisions we make...we have to think about our entire family. We have to consider what staying here would mean to all of us."
"That's all I been thinkin' about, Michaela. Don't ya know that?"
She closed her eyes as he grabbed the rope from her and led the horse into the shed, shutting the door after him.
"Good mornin', Dr. Willard," she said.
He briefly turned to glance at her. "Good morning," he replied politely.
Dorothy clasped her hands in front of her uncomfortably. "I don't know if we ever formally met. I'm Dorothy Jennings. I run the Gazette?"
Simon dipped the cloth into the bucket, wrung it out and brought it back to the window. "Yes, I recognize the name. Is there something I can do for you?"
Dorothy glanced at the bustling street. "Maybe we could go inside. I mean, if ya have time."
He slowly rested the cloth on the edge of the bucket and lifted it into the corner of the porch. "I don't have an appointment scheduled until quarter past nine. I think I could spare a moment. Quickly though." Simon opened the door, leading her inside and shutting it after her. Then he walked to the filing cabinet, opening it and pulling out her chart. "What seems to be the trouble, Mrs. Jennings?"
Dorothy slowly removed her cape, draping it over her arm. "Well...I ain't sure if it's exactly...trouble. What I mean is, I ain't ever felt better in years. My appetite's good, I got lots of energy. But-"
"I understand from this you had a mastectomy some time ago," Simon said as he slowly sunk into the desk chair and perused her chart. "The right breast, is that correct? I can't quite make out Dr. Quinn's disorganized handwriting."
Taken aback, Dorothy clutched her cape against her. "That's right."
"Interesting," he said, resting his hand against his brow. "I must confess I've never performed such a procedure before. I'd be fascinated to know more details about it. And to take a look at how the tissue has healed years later." He looked up with a smile. "I always enjoy learning something new. I'm so glad you came by, Mrs. Jennings."
Dorothy felt her cheeks warm with embarrassment. "Actually it's about that. I was wondering if I might ask ya...some questions."
He stood up, walking to the rack and taking down a thin examination gown. "Of course. Take off your clothes and change into this."
Dorothy eyed the examination gown tentatively. "Take off...everything?"
Simon chuckled. "Yes, how else can I examine you? Please, hurry. We don't have much time. Behind the screens of course."
Dorothy raised her eyes, feigning surprise. "Oh, I just remembered! I promised Loren I'd help him in the store this mornin'."
Simon gazed at her with disappointment. "Oh. Well, perhaps I can schedule you for an appointment. How does tomorrow at eleven sound?" He walked to the desk, grabbed a pen and opened a notebook.
Dorothy quickly slipped back into her cape and opened the door. "I'm gonna be real busy with the Gazette the rest of this week," she stammered. "Thank you, Dr. Willard. Good day."
"Wait, you said you had some questions to ask me?" he called as she hurried out the door.
Dorothy quickly turned around, forcing a smile. "It was nothin'. Just about a little headache I've been havin'. It'll go away."
Simon picked up his bucket again and grabbed the cloth. "Oh, I see. Well, if it doesn't, please come back here."
Dorothy stepped down from the porch, reluctantly nodding. "All right. I'll do that." She walked swiftly back to the store, pressing her hand to her chest disconcertedly. Several concerns continued to way heavy on her mind, concerns she needed to share with a doctor, but the last thing she wanted to be was a learning tool for young Simon Willard.
"Where you been?" Loren demanded from the counter as Dorothy opened the door to the store.
"No place," Dorothy said, removing her cape. "I just took a walk."
"I saw ya go into the clinic," Loren accused, pulling out his moneybox and counting the bills inside.
"Can't I say good mornin' to our doctor?" Dorothy replied, taking a seat at her desk and opening it.
"Oh, Dorothy. You don't like him and neither does anybody else," Loren said as he flipped through the bills. "I'll be glad when he's outta here."
"Loren, that's not very kind!" Dorothy said, removing a pen and paper from one of the drawers. "I'm sure Dr. Willard is very good at what he does. We can't keep comparin' him to Michaela. That isn't fair to him."
"Now what're ya doin'?" Loren asked, walking over to her.
Dorothy covered the stationary with her hand. "Writin' a letter to Michaela, if you must know."
Loren burst into a grin. "Good!"
"Well, I'm glad you approve!" Dorothy said wryly.
Loren gestured at the stationary. "Put in there that I said hello. And that business at the store is as good as ever. And that we'll all be grateful when we have our real doctor back."
"You can write Michaela a letter yourself if you want to say all that," Dorothy said.
"Just put it in," Loren ordered.
Dorothy sighed, quickly nodding. "All right. Now leave me be to write."
"Don't be too long," Loren said, returning to his counter. "You sit down for two minutes to write somethin' to Dr. Mike and that two minutes turns into two hours!"
Dorothy chuckled. "Well, maybe I got a lot to say." She gazed at the stationary pensively for a moment, and then dipped her pen into the ink. "Dear Michaela...." she whispered aloud.
* * *
"All set, Jack," Sully murmured as he tied the baby's bib around his neck and then sat down beside him.
Michaela extended her hands. "Whose turn is it to say grace?"
Katie stared at her plate and reluctantly took one of her hands. "Me, Mama."
"Close your eyes now, Jack," Byron instructed, grasping Michaela's other hand. "Time to say grace."
"Shh," Michaela said. "Go ahead, Katie."
The little girl eyed the pot for another long moment, glanced at Michaela and then reluctantly shut her eyes. "Thank you for our warm house and thank you for the milk and water. And the potatoes and oatmeal, even though Mama makes it every single day and it's not very fun to eat anymore 'cause it's all we ever get. A-men." Katie drew her hands into her lap and opened her eyes. "Was that good?"
Sully cleared his throat, taking a sip of coffee. "That was fine, Katie. All right, dig in."
Michaela slowly picked up her fork and stirred her potatoes, staring at her plate.
Sully swallowed a big bite of his potatoes in demonstration. "Supper tastes good, don't it?"
"Sure, Ma," Brian said a bit too enthusiastically. "It's great."
"No it's not," Byron spoke up, yelping in surprise as Brian kicked his shin firmly under the table.
"Katie does have a point," Michaela said with a sigh. "It is all we ever eat. Potatoes and gruel."
"It's winter," Sully explained. "Harper can't get much more for us. 'Sides, I like the way ya make it."
"Sully, I was thinking," Michaela began reluctantly. "I was thinking I want to go into town tomorrow."
"Fresno? What for?" he blurted.
"To buy us something that doesn't come from a can," she said with frustration. "When was the last time we had fresh fruit or vegetables? I want to buy tomatoes, celery, peas, carrots. Cherries and apples."
"We can make apple pie!" Katie exclaimed.
"Yes. Apple pie. Oh, that sounds wonderful right now," Michaela said.
"Yippie!" Byron shouted.
"No," Sully said simply.
Michaela raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Pardon me?"
"Ya ain't makin' that trip at this time of year, Michaela," he told her. "The weather's holdin' for now, but that could change real quick."
"Sully, the children need fruits and vegetables. We all do. We could start showing symptoms of scurvy if we don't change our diets soon."
"Don't exaggerate," Sully said, raising his coffee cup back to his lips.
"I'm not exaggerating," she retorted, her voice escalating.
"What's scurry?" Katie asked quietly.
"I don't want ya to go," Sully said firmly. "It's too dangerous."
"All right, then you can come with me," Michaela replied.
Sully threw his hands in the air. "When am I gonna have time for that? It's not like goin' into town at home. It's a day's ride away. I got work."
Brian glanced between his parents, licking his lips. "I'll go, Pa. It would be nice to have some apples."
"Nobody's gonna be makin' this trip, Brian," Sully replied. "Not without me along. I don't see why we need to go in the first place. We got plenty of food stocked up here."
"Does that mean we gotta eat gruel the rest of the winter?" Byron said despondently, holding up his spoon, turning it over and watching as the mush fell back to his plate. "Yucky!"
Tearfully, Michaela abruptly picked up her plate and walked to the sink, setting it inside.
"B., why can't you be quiet?" Brian demanded in a whisper. "You're always goin' and hurtin' Ma's feelins."
"But I can't eat it anymore," Byron protested.
"I can't eat this anymore either," Katie said with a groan. "I'm gonna get scurry."
"You, too, Katie," Brian added. "Ma's doin' the best she can."
Sully patted Brian's arm. "It's all right. We're all just a little...cooped up is all." He stood up, strolling over to Michaela's side. "All of us are doin' the best we can. Winter won't last much longer."
Michaela scraped the food from her plate, avoiding his eyes.
"I'll take the wagon to Fresno when I got time," Sully said as he desperately tried to discern what Michaela was thinking.
"You don't have to," she said quickly.
He sighed, crossing his arms. "Fine. Then I won't."
"Fine. Good," she murmured, swiping at her tears. "Good."
* * *
"You can almost feed yourself now, can't ya?" Sully whispered proudly, kissing the baby's cheek. He carefully took the bottle from the baby and lifted him over his shoulder, patting his back.
Jack's eyes drooped farther and soon he was dozing. Satisfied, Sully stood up from the bed and tucked the baby in his cradle.
"It's a cold one tonight," Sully said, tucking the covers snuggly around him and smoothing back his hair. "You let us know if ya need another blanket."
He gave Jack one last kiss and then rose back to his feet, tentatively walking to the corner where he had strung up one of the quilts in front of the tub. He slowly pulled it aside, stooping to Michaela's level. She was sitting quietly in the sudsy water, staring blankly forward.
"Jack's fed and tucked in," he said, resting his hand on the edge of the tub.
"Thank you," she replied absently.
He leaned forward and gently kissed her cheek. "Michaela, listen. There's good reasons I don't want any of us goin' as far as Fresno. I don't want somethin' to happen to ya, that's all."
"I know. I understand," she replied, abruptly grabbing the towel on the chair beside her, draping it around her back and standing up.
"Ya sure?" he asked, standing up with her and giving her a hand out of the tub. "Ya sure you're all right with this?"
"Of course. It's like you said...I'm just a little cooped up," she replied.
He swallowed, nodding. "I was waitin' for the right time to give ya this," he began, stepping around the hanging quilt and walking to the trunk.
She slipped into her nightgown and folded the towel, laying it on the chair. "Give me what?"
"Just a little somethin'," he said, opening the trunk and pulling out a thin, square package. "Come here."
She pushed back the quilt and strolled over to the bed, reluctantly taking the package from him and sitting down. "What is it?"
"Somethin' ya had your eye on," he whispered, sitting beside her and pulling back the paper to reveal the dreamy watercolor impression of the San Francisco harbor.
"The painting," she breathed. "How? When...?"
"Lao-Tzu picked it up for me right before we left. I wanted it to be a secret," he explained. "What do ya think?"
"Oh, it's even more beautiful than I remembered," she replied, smiling at him shyly. "Thank you. I love it."
"Yeah. Me, too," he replied, caressing her cheek and kissing her. "Everythin' all right now?"
She put the painting aside and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close.
"What is it?" he asked, rubbing her back. "Are ya sick, Michaela? What's wrong with ya?"
"Nothing's wrong," she said hoarsely, closing her eyes. "I just don't want to be angry with you anymore."
He smiled. "Good. Me neither."
She slowly drew back and gave him a soft kiss. "The painting's truly wonderful, Sully. I don't deserve it."
"Sure ya do," he replied. "You deserve everythin'. Michaela, if I thought it was safe, I would say go to Fresno. But I promise, as soon as the snow melts, as soon as the weather gets better, the first thing we'll do is take the wagon out there. How's that sound?"
"Better. I appreciate that." She drew him back into a hug and held on tight. "And I love you. So much."
* * *
"Excellent, Byron," Michaela said, sitting down at her desk and checking the word off her list.
"There aren't very many flowers out now, are there, Mama?" he asked, resting his hands on the edge of her desk.
"No, I'm afraid not," Michaela said, glancing up at the roof. A forbidding storm had begun about an hour before. Thick, relentless sleet pounded against the roof and windows. Thankfully, Brian had hauled in plenty of firewood. Michaela knew she and the children would be safe inside the cabin and that Sully must be taking shelter in the tents at the worksite, waiting it out with the other men.
"Mama? What word do I spell next?" Byron asked.
Michaela's eyes suddenly widened. "Mouse!"
"Mouse! But that's not on the list!" Byron exclaimed. "Mama, that's no fair. I didn't practice that one."
"No, the mouse," she said, rising to her feet and backing against the wall. "I just saw it go behind the bed!"
Katie screeched and stood on her chair as Brian leaped to his feet. Jack immediately lost interest in the blocks he was stacking on his highchair tray and twisted himself around to get a look at the commotion.
"Where, Ma?" Brian asked. "I'll get my trap."
"Just get it out of here," she retorted, drawing Byron to her side.
"Let me help," Byron said, breaking away from Michaela's grasp and running to his older brother.
"Byron, no. Come back!" Michaela called, standing frozen against the wall. "No, sweetheart. Come back."
"I'll get that mouse, Mama. Don't worry," Byron replied assuredly.
Katie pressed her fingers to her mouth fearfully as she watched the boys tiptoe toward the bed. "What if the mouse tries to bite you? Oh, no!"
"Mice don't bite, Katie," Brian said, slowly lifting up the end of one side of the bedspread. "He's scared of you more than you are of him. B., you go around to the other side. Chase him back this way if he tries to escape."
"All right," Byron said, scurrying around the bed.
Jack burst into a grin and clapped his hands, delighting in all the excitement.
"Be careful, Brian," Michaela said.
"Don't worry, Ma. It's under control," Brian said, snatching up the bedspread. "Gotchya!"
Byron crouched down to his knees and peered under the bed. "Hey! Where'd he go? He's gone!"
Brian pushed the bed back from the wall a few inches and bent down. "Looks like we found our mouse hole."
Michaela walked over and peered behind the bed at the tiny crevice between two floorboards. "It's so little. How could a mouse fit through there?"
"They can squeeze themselves through a hole no bigger than a dime," Brian said with a smile.
"Really! Whoa!" Byron exclaimed, climbing up onto the bed.
Michaela scrunched up her nose. "Well, go get Sully's tools and patch up the hole, Brian. Hurry."
"Mrs. Sully! Mrs. Sully!" a woman shouted, pounding on the door fiercely. "Mrs. Sully!"
Michaela abandoned the bed and rushed to the door, opening it.
Carrie staggered inside, wrapped in one of her husband's bearskins, soaked through. "Mrs. Sully!"
"Carrie?" Michaela began hoarsely, drawing her inside and shutting the door behind her. She knew the woman would not be paying a visit to their cabin for any other reason than a dire emergency. "What's wrong?"
Carrie gasped for breath, shaking her head. "It's Faye. I was just out at her place, thinkin' maybe she needed somebody to chop her some firewood to see her through the storm."
"What happened? Is she all right?" Michaela demanded.
"The door was bolted. I couldn't get in!" Carrie exclaimed frantically. "I looked in the window. She was still in bed, fast asleep. I pounded and pounded on it. She wouldn't wake up!"
Michaela pressed her hand to her mouth. "Oh, no."
"I could hear the baby cryin'," Carrie went on. "Poor thing's hoarse she's been cryin' so long. Who knows how long Faye's been like this. I don't know what to do!"
"What's wrong with her, Ma?" Brian asked.
Michaela grabbed her shawl and jacket off the hooks. "I don't know, Brian."
"You gonna go out there?" he went on, eyes widening. "This storm's gettin' worse!"
"You're gonna get all wet, Mama!" Byron added.
"Don't go," Katie said plaintively, climbing down from her chair.
Michaela slipped into her jacket and grabbed her bag off the table. "Something's wrong. We have to wake her up. Brian, I want you to stay here with the children. I'll try to be back as soon as I can." She quickly hugged Byron and Katie and then opened the door and stepped out into the storm.
"Ma! Be careful!" Brian called.
"We'll be fine," she said, brushing her wind-tossed hair from her face. "Don't go outside. Keep the children warm by the fire. I'll be back soon. I promise."
Michaela wiped the icy sleet from it and peered inside, spotting Faye sound asleep in bed, just as Carrie had described.
"Faye!" she called, the wind muffling her voice. "Faye! It's Dr. Mike! Wake up!"
"You don't think she's...?" Carrie began desperately. She beat her fist against the window. "Faye! Faye!"
"We have to get to her," Michaela said, rushing to the door. She thrust her side vigorously against the wood, trying with all her energy to force the door open.
"Here, let me help!" Carrie called, running over.
Michaela nodded quickly, making room for her. "We can do this. On three. One, two, three!"
The women barreled against the door, shaking it vehemently.
"Again!" Michaela cried as they backed up and banged against it once more.
"I think we got it. One more time," Carrie said. Gathering all their strength, they threw themselves against the door. The wooden bolt exploded out of its cradles and the door burst open, propelling Michaela and Carrie into the room.
Without waiting to catch her breath, Michaela threw off her coat and ran to the bed, pushing back Faye's eyelids and tearing open her medical bag.
Carrie scooped up Danielle from her cradle, rocking her as the baby continued to cry weakly. "Lord Jesus, save thy servant, which putteth her trust in thee," she whispered. "Send her help from thy holy place, and evermore mightily defend her ..."
Michaela patted Faye's cheek with one hand and grabbed a cloth from a basin nearby with the other. "Faye? Faye, wake up. Wake up, Faye." She pressed the cool cloth to the girl's cheeks. "Faye! Faye, wake up!"
"Let the enemy have no advantage of her, nor the wicked approach to hurt her," Carrie went on. "Be unto her, Lord Jesus, a strong tower from the face of her enemy."
"Dr. Mike," Faye muttered, her eyelids fluttering.
Carrie glanced heavenward. "Oh, she's alive! Praise the Lord."
Michaela shifted her arm beneath the girl's back and helped her sit up. "It's me, Faye. Tell me what's wrong. What happened?"
"I'm so tired," Faye said weakly. "I just want to go back to sleep. Please."
"No. No, don't go to sleep," Michaela said firmly. "Stay with us, Faye. Stay awake. Tell me what happened."
"I don't remember. Please. I'm tired."
Michaela patted her cheek resolutely. "No, you aren't going back to sleep. Did you take something? Did you swallow something? You have to tell me so I can help you."
"No, nothin'," she said. "Just a little tonic. Kirk said it would help."
"What tonic?" Michaela demanded. "Faye, what did you take?"
Carrie walked over to the bed and picked up an uncorked, empty dark bottle resting on the nightstand. "This here. She musta drank this. I seen it stocked in the mercantile in Fresno," she said, handing it to Michaela. "What's wrong with her, Mrs. Sully? Why, she looks no better than an ole soaker!"
"Kirk got it for me," Faye explained. "The storekeeper said it would help how I been feelin'. Cures all, he said."
Michaela sniffed the opening. "This is satiated with alcohol. Faye, did you drink this entire thing?"
"It was helpin' for a little while," she replied. "But now I got a powerful headache, can't hardly keep my eyes open. My stomach's tossin' in all directions. Danielle. Danielle's cryin'. I gotta feed her."
"Shh, it's all right. She'll be all right for now," Michaela said. "You took a little too much of that tonic, Faye. We need to get it out of your system, all right?"
"Dr. Mike," she whispered, falling back to her pillows. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Lord Jesus, save thy servant," Carrie began again, "which putteth her trust in thee-"
Michaela stood up and faced Carrie. "We can pray later. Bring us a bucket, put some coffee on and prepare a tub for her."
"That child needs all the prayers she can get," Carrie protested, patting the baby's back.
"What she needs is to throw up," Michaela retorted, lifting Faye back into a sitting position and swinging her legs out of bed. She swallowed hard, softening her voice. "Please, Carrie. Bring her a bucket." She smoothed Faye's damp hair from her eyes and tenderly rubbed her back. "You're going to be all right, Faye. I've seen this before. I know what to do. You'll be fine."
"I'm sorry, Dr. Mike. Kirk, bless his heart, he just wants me to feel better," Faye murmured weakly. "We didn't know...we didn't know."
"Shh, of course not," Michaela whispered. "It's not your fault, sweetheart. It's not your fault."
* * *
Faye was tucked warmly against several pillows, the baby dozing in her lap with a full belly. It had been a difficult few hours, but the young woman had made it through. A cool bath, several cups of coffee and Michaela and Carrie's constant encouragement had helped restore her senses. It appeared the worst had passed.
"Better," Faye replied. "That's real nice on the ears. Keep readin' to me."
Carrie smiled and returned her eyes to the pages. "And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee, for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee."
Michaela returned to the bed and sat on the opposite side, holding out a cup to Faye. "Here's some more willowbark tea. It should help your headache."
"You've gotta get out of your wet clothes, Mrs. Sully," Carrie remarked disapprovingly.
Michaela briefly nodded, all her focus on her patient as the girl sipped at the tea. Michaela's blouse, skirt and petticoats, clinging to her skin, were cool and damp from the ride out to the cabin. She had barely paused to notice how soaked the sleet had made her. Her own health was last on her mind as she tended to Faye.
Suddenly the door burst open and Kirk ran into the room, followed by Sully. Kirk quickly approached the bed, eyeing Faye frantically.
"Honey, what happened?" he exclaimed, falling to his knees beside Michaela and taking his wife's hand.
"Sully?" Michaela said as he joined them by the bed.
Sully wiped the melting sleet from his face and took off his coat. "Brian came out with the kids and told us. He was gettin' worried."
"Brian rode out to the work site in this storm?" Michaela replied in disbelief.
"I'm sorry, Kirk," Faye murmured, tears slipping down her cheeks. "The tonic ya gave me, 'fore ya left for work this mornin'. I musta had too much of it."
"She's fine now, Kirk," Michaela said, patting his back. "She's all right."
"Oh, darlin'," he breathed, taking her in his arms and stroking her hair. "Oh, Faye. Thank God. I was so worried. Brian said you wouldn't wake up. I was scared sick, honey."
"I'm sorry. Danielle's all right, too. We're both all right."
He knelt down and kissed the baby's cheek. "Thank God." He slowly looked up. "Then I did this. I told ya to take that tonic. Oh, honey."
"You didn't know it was unsafe, Kirk," Michaela said reassuringly. "I gave Faye some willowbark tea. From now on, I'd like her to use that. You can't overdose on it."
"Thanks, Dr. Mike," Kirk replied, eyes focused on Faye as he stroked her arm protectively.
Sully eyed Michaela worriedly. Her face was pale and she was shivering ever so slightly. "We gotta get ya into some dry clothes and warmed up," he murmured, grasping her arm and pulling her to her feet.
"You go on home, Dr. Mike," Faye said. "Like ya said, I'm all right now."
"I'll stay with them a little longer," Carrie offered, patting Faye's hand.
"I think I would like to get back to the children," Michaela said softly. "I'll try to stop by tomorrow. Just keep drinking the tea."
Faye held her arms out and drew Michaela close in a warm hug. "Thank you," she whispered.
Michaela remained uncomfortable for a moment in the girl's affectionate embrace, then slowly eased into it. Faye was her friend now, the closet friend she had made in Yosemite. Practically the only friend she had made. She was not only concerned for Faye simply as a patient, but also because she had grown to deeply care for her personally.
"You're welcome," Michaela replied. "Send Kirk to get me if you need anything."
Sully helped her into her jacket and led her out the door, putting his arm around her.
"The storm stopped," Michaela remarked, glancing at the branches and twigs that had broken off and fallen into the clearing.
"Faye's lucky to have ya here, Michaela," Sully replied.
"I don't know what else to do, Sully," Michaela whispered, dropping her head to Sully's shoulder. "How can I treat her if I don't even know what's wrong with her?"
"As far as I'm concerned you're doin' everythin' just right," he replied, holding her closer.
"I wish I had more of my books," she went on with discouragement. "There must be something about this somewhere."
He grabbed the bridle of her horse and gave her a hand up. "Just keep doin' what you're doin'. Be her friend."
"I'm trying," she murmured, grabbing the reins.
He mounted his horse and reached for her hand, briefly clasping it. "Ya've done all ya can here for now. Let's go home."
* * *
"Kids are asleep," Sully whispered, approaching the bed and pulling off his shirt.
"Thank you," she murmured, crumpling the handkerchiefs and putting them on the nightstand.
"What're ya readin'?" he asked, nodding at the books as he folded his shirt.
She slowly closed the cover, gazing up at him dejectedly. "I was just looking through my books again, thinking perhaps I may have missed something. Perhaps there might be some clue as to Faye's condition I overlooked." She glanced down at Jack and gave his head a gentle kiss. "I know what she's going through. It's the worst feeling in the world, not wanting your baby. After Byron was born, I felt so desperate. But Dorothy and Grace and all of our friends helped me, and Brian was always there for me, too, and..."
Sully took hold of her hand, giving it a gentle kiss and willing her to continue.
"And...Cal was there," she whispered. "I just can't imagine how I would have gotten through without all of their help. I don't know what might have happened to me."
"Faye's gonna get through this, just like you did," he replied, lifting Jack from her arms and carrying him to his cradle. "She's got Kirk, she's got our family and the Donovans. And she's got a good doctor lookin' after her. She'll come through."
"You have more confidence in me than I do," she replied.
"Stop looking at your books. You're doin' just fine without 'em." The baby stirred ever so slightly and then fell back asleep as Sully tucked the blanket around him and rubbed his belly. "'Night, Jack." He slowly stood up and grasped one end of the sheets he had hung around their bed. "I think he's gonna sleep through the night tonight."
She stacked her books on the nightstand and picked up her handkerchiefs, blowing her nose again. "Yes, of course. He's been sleeping a lot better lately."
He pulled the sheets securely closed around their bed and strolled back to the side, resting one knee up on the bed and untying the laces at the neck of her nightgown.
"I suppose I'll just have to keep going out to see Faye until this passes," Michaela went on, dabbing at her nose. "It will pass. I'm confident of that. I just don't know when."
He dipped his head to her shoulder, leisurely caressing her skin with his lips. Finally, he pulled back, reaching one hand down to unbutton his waistband and pulling her nightgown up to her thighs with the other.
"Sully," she whispered, raising her eyebrows.
"What?" he replied as he slid his fingers tantalizingly up her leg.
"N-nothing," she blurted. "I just...I thought we were trying to talk about something."
He crawled back onto the bed and straddled her waist. "I thought we were done," he replied, caressing her face and pressing his lips to hers in a vigorous, passionate kiss.
Michaela suddenly twisted out of his hold with a nervous chuckle and gasped for air. "Sully! I couldn't breathe."
"Breathe through your nose," he replied quickly, leaning in once more.
"I can't," she said, pressing one hand to his chest and stilling him while she reached for her handkerchiefs with the other. "I haven't been able to breathe through my nose all evening."
"You're gettin' sick," he accused. "Ya got wet ridin' out to Faye's in that storm."
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not sick," she protested, reluctantly placing the handkerchiefs back on the nightstand.
"Oh," he replied. "Well, good."
She pressed her fingers to his lips and shifted her nightgown back down to her ankles. "I'm just a little tired. I'm sorry."
He grudgingly buttoned the waist of his buckskins and fell to his back, staring up at the ceiling. "You're always tired."
She brought the covers up over her legs and nudged down to her side, gazing at him guiltily. "I'm sorry."
He sighed. "What's wrong? When's the last time we...we were alone, Michaela?"
She swallowed, suddenly struck by the fact that she couldn't remember. Sully was right. She was usually fast asleep before he even had a chance to get under the covers next to her. Tending to her husband, she had to admit, was not something she had taken much time to think about. The chores she had to do the following day and the lessons she had to teach usually preoccupied her thoughts.
She tentatively reached her hand over and rested it on his chest, caressing him in a familiar way. "It's not that I don't want to be with you," she began awkwardly. "I do want to be with you. I love you."
He raised his hand up and placed it over hers, softly sighing.
"It's just our days are so busy," she whispered. "The cabin and the chores and the children and the baby. When we come to bed at night...it's often quite difficult for me to...well, find the right frame of mind."
He turned on his side, gently caressing her cheek. "All right. Tell me how I can help ya get in the right frame of mind. Do ya want to do somethin'...somethin' different? You're my wife. You can tell me what ya want, Michaela."
She wrapped her arms around her neck with a small smile. "No, it's not that. There's nothing I can't tell you. But first...I have to be able to breathe."
He chuckled softly. "I'm sorry. Kissin' probably ain't much fun when you're suffocatin'."
She grinned wryly. "No. Not particularly."
He planted an apologetic kiss on her forehead. "Let's go to sleep. We'll talk about it when ya ain't sick."
"I'm not si-" she began crossly.
"Right. You're not sick," he quickly corrected.
"Well, I'm not. I'll be fine in the morning."
He wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her to his chest and closing his eyes. "You will."
"Something different, hm?" she replied quietly, snuggling up against him. "We'll see."
He smiled, smoothing back her hair. "'Night, Michaela."
* * *
"Michaela, you all right?" Sully spoke up, seated at the table, a cup of coffee in his hands.
"I'm fine. I have to make your breakfast," she said, tucking the handkerchiefs in her bathrobe pocket and reaching for the basket to gather the eggs.
"I'll get somethin' when I get to the work site," he said, standing up and walking to her side. He pressed his hand to her forehead. "You sure ya feel all right? You're real warm."
She reluctantly met his eyes. Her nose was a fiery, painful red, her face was flushed with a fever and perspiration clung to her brow and cheeks. "I ... I feel miserable," she admitted quietly, setting the basket on the table.
"Let's get ya back to bed," he said, grasping her arm.
"Sully, I can't," she began weakly.
"You'll get worse if ya keep this up," Sully said firmly, leading her to their bed. "Now you're gonna get back under the covers right now and start gettin' better."
"But who's going to-?"
"I'll stay home today," he said, pulling back the quilt and giving her a hand onto the bed. "I don't mind."
"Sully, don't do that. Don't take an entire day off," she said. "I have to do the laundry and teach the children their lessons and cook our meals. And ride out to see Faye if I can manage it. It's just a ... little ... " She scrambled for her handkerchiefs, drew in her breath and let out another sneeze. "It's just a little catarrh."
"Let's make sure it don't get any worse," he said, stooping to his knees and taking her hand. "I can take care of the kids and do what needs to be done."
She eyed him doubtfully. "You're sure?"
He smiled, giving the back of her hand a kiss. "If I'm gonna be doin' the cookin' I best get started on breakfast." He pulled the covers up to her shoulders and tucked them snug around her. "Comfortable?"
She turned on her side, curling up beneath the warm blankets with a sigh. "Mm, yes."
"Anythin' I can get ya?" he asked, smoothing her damp hair from her brow. "A cool cloth for your head?"
She closed her eyes sleepily. "That would be nice I suppose."
"That'll feel good," he murmured, slowly standing up, dipping a small towel into the basin beside the bed, wringing it out and then laying it tenderly across her brow. "All set?"
She gave him a tired smile, snuggling against their pillows. "Yes. Thank you."
He planted a tender kiss on her cheek. "You sleep now. I got everythin' taken care of."
* * *
"We gotta say grace, Papa," Katie spoke up quietly, eager for a reason to delay eating the meal.
"Oh, yeah," Sully murmured, holding out his hand to her. "Say it then."
Katie stared at her plate a moment longer and then grasped her father's hand, bending her head. "Thank you for this...for this...food. A-men."
Sully cleared his throat, withdrawing his hand. "Amen."
Byron tentatively picked up his fork and pushed around the eggs. "Can't Mama make us breakfast?"
"Mama's sleepin'," Sully said, picking up some eggs with Jack's spoon and holding it to the baby's lips. "We gotta keep quiet today so she can rest and get better, all right?"
"She's gonna be all right, ain't she, Pa?" Brian spoke up, chewing a bite of his eggs experimentally.
"Yeah, we just gotta keep her in bed," Sully replied, trying to coax Jack's lips open with the spoon. "I'm stayin' home today to make sure she don't start gettin' up. You know how she is. Come on, Jack. Eat your breakfast. Come on."
The baby pursed his lips tighter and pressed his hands to the tray of his highchair.
Brian cleared his throat, stirring his eggs. "Pass the salt, B."
"After I get some," Byron said, holding the shaker over his plate and sprinkling salt over his food.
"I'll have it after Brian," Katie added, resting her fork across her plate and taking a sip of milk.
Sully rested his cheek on one hand as he gazed at the baby. "Please, Jack? Open your mouth for Papa. Please?"
Jack giggled, banging his hands on the tray of his highchair.
"Jack, this ain't funny," Sully replied. "Ya gotta eat now. Open. Come on. Open."
"He only eats for Ma," Brian spoke up, taking the shaker from his little brother. "She calls it a...a phase he's goin' through."
"Well, he's gonna have to eat for me today," Sully said. "Don't worry. He will. He just needs a little time."
Brian quickly choked down a spoonful of the ham. "If you say so."
"Maybe he would eat if this isn't so awful," Byron spoke up, spitting a large mouthful of ham back onto his plate.
"Byron! Eww!" Katie exclaimed. "Papa, Byron spit."
"It ain't that bad, is it, son?" Sully asked, glancing at him. "This canned food thing is trickier than it looks."
"It's bad," Byron replied matter-of-factly, wiping his tongue clean with his napkin. "Even Mama never cooks this bad!"
"Boys are so yucky," Katie grumbled, crossing her arms and glaring at her little brother. "You're yucky!"
"Am not!" Byron shouted. "Papa, she called me yucky!"
"Shh," Sully said quickly, squeezing his leg beneath the table. "Don't wake your ma."
"I am not," Byron whispered, eyeing Katie angrily.
"Are, too," Katie whispered back.
"Kates, don't call Byron names," Sully interupted. "And Byron...don't spit like that. It ain't good manners."
"But I had to get it out of my mouth, Papa," Byron said.
Sully let out a frustrated sigh. "Well, then do it in your napkin next time." He turned his attention back to Jack just as the baby lifted up his bowl of eggs and dumped it over his fair head. The children burst into suppressed giggles as Sully stared at the mess helplessly. Slimy eggs slid down the baby's cheeks and onto his clothes as he gazed back at his father happily.
"Jack," Sully finally murmured, taking the bowl from him and setting it on the table. "What're ya doin'? Don't ya like my eggs?"
Brian struggled to hold back laughter. "I warned ya. He only eats for one person and that's Ma."
"Jack likes to wear his food," Byron said with a wide smile. "Right, Papa?"
" ... Right," Sully muttered, standing up and picking off some of the eggs from the baby's hair and face. "Looks like first thing we're gonna do this mornin' is have a bath." He lifted the baby from the highchair and held him at arm's length as he walked to the counter.
"I'm done, Papa," Byron said, sliding his full plate forward. "I'm gonna go play outside."
"No, not yet, Byron," Sully replied, picking up the tub and setting it on the counter. "Why don't ya help clear the table and then get your school supplies out?"
"What for?" Katie questioned. "Mama's sick."
"Yeah. The teacher can't come to school today," Byron added.
"Nobody's gettin' a day off here," Sully said. "I'm gonna be your teacher."
Brian raised his eyebrows. "You?"
Sully sat the baby on the counter as more sticky eggs fell from his fair hair to the floor. "That's right. Me."
* * *
"Hey. Ya get some sleep?" he asked.
"A little," she murmured, slowly turning to face him.
"Fever's still hangin' on," he said, pressing his hand to her brow. "How ya feelin'?""
She shook her head, frustrated. "I don't know. Achy all over."
He eyed her worriedly. "I brought ya some willow bark tea. Can ya sit up for a little bit?"
"Yes, in a minute," she murmured.
"How about somethin' to eat?" he went on, reaching his hand over to rub her back. "I could make some broth."
"No, not now." She closed her eyes, gently clutching the tail of his shirt "That feels good, Sully."
He smoothed her hair from her brow with his free hand. "Glad I can help."
"How did school go?" she asked absently, his tender touch serving to calm and relax her.
Sully cleared his throat, taking a seat on the bed. "School? It was all right."
She grinned wryly. "I hope Byron and Katie were behaving."
He shrugged, unwilling to admit how completely out of his element he had felt sitting at her desk, surrounded by textbooks, the children looking to him for guidance and he looking back, having no idea where to start. "I think they just wanted their real teacher."
"Yes, they do. Miss Teresa," Michaela muttered.
"I meant you," he replied. "You're a real good teacher. They missed ya. Said so themselves. Ya gotta get better and come back to school."
"I'm afraid it may be another day or so," she said with a sigh. "This catarrh is taking its time running its course."
"It ain't anythin' serious, is it, Michaela?" he asked, leaning closer. "You'd tell me if it was."
She opened her eyes, clasping his hand. "It's a catarrh, Sully," she said. "Just a very willful one."
He kissed her brow lovingly. "Ya say somethin' if ya start feelin' any worse. It won't be any trouble to ride out to Fresno, get some help. Promise?"
"I don't feel any worse," she said. "Just not any better."
"Promise," he instructed. "No keepin' anythin' to yourself."
She sighed, touched by his doting concern. "All right. I will. I'll tell you."
He gave her cheek a soft kiss. "Good."
"You're going to come down with something yourself," Michaela scolded. "You shouldn't sit so close to me."
"I'll take that chance," he retorted playfully.
"Oh. I made you a list," she said, reaching across the bed for a small sheet of paper on the nightstand.
"A list?" he blurted, taking the paper from her and skimming it.
"Of everything that needs to be done," she explained. "Laundry and ironing. The floor needs to be swept, the rugs could stand a good beating and the mantel and furniture should be dusted. Oh, and the oil in the lamps needs to be refilled." She pointed towards the bottom of the paper. "I also wrote out what I thought you could make for dinner. Canned pork and beans. It's quite simple really. You just add water. It's only a matter of how much to add. Speaking of food, I want you to bring some of the bread the children and I made yesterday over to Faye. I don't think she's up to baking just yet."
He swallowed, overwhelmed. "There's only so many hours left in the day, Michaela."
"Yes, I know," she said, clutching the corner of her pillow. "I have to carefully plan out each day to make sure everything is done."
"You do all these things every day?" he asked disbelievingly.
"Why, yes," she replied. "Someone has to."
"What about the kids?" he questioned. "As long as I'm home I want to spend some time with them. Play with them a little. When do ya play with them?"
She chuckled. "Play with them? I can't remember the last time I played with them. There simply isn't time. They've learned to keep themselves occupied." She thought a moment, folding her hands. "I suppose school each morning is the only part of the day when I can spend time with them individually. But then the focus is on their lessons, not on the time we have together."
He slipped his arm under her shoulders and helped her sit up. "Have some of this tea now. Should help bring the fever down." He put the warm cup in her hands and read the list again while she sipped at the tea. "Who watches the kids while you do all this?"
"Usually I can keep an eye on them and do the chore. But it helps to have Brian around." She glanced at him, noting his uncertain expression. "Sully, if this list is too much I can get up for a few hours and help you. I feel terrible sleeping away the day like this but I'm just so...so achy."
"No. You stay here where ya need to be," he said firmly. "I'll manage."
"Well, I'm right nearby if you have any questions," she said.
"I got one for ya already," he said, folding the list and standing up.
"What's that?" she asked.
He sighed. "How do ya get our baby to eat?"
"Oh, dear. He wouldn't eat for you?"
"Not a bite," he said, crossing his arms. "His breakfast ended up on his head and his lunch all over his tray."
She covered her mouth, giggling. "Oh, Sully. Well, you just can't force him. He knows you want him to eat and that's exactly why he won't."
He nodded slowly. "So don't let him know that's what I want him to do."
She clasped his hand. "Exactly. Good luck."
"I'll figure it out. Go back to sleep."
"Yes, I think I will," she replied, setting the teacup back on the nightstand. "Sully? Thank you."
He smiled, giving her hand a kiss. "Just get better. If only for Jack's sake."
* * *
He walked to the table, snuffing out the lamp as Byron sat up in bed.
"Papa!" he whispered.
"What's wrong?" Sully replied, turning to face him. "I thought you were sleepin'."
He crawled out of bed and scurried over to him. "I want to say goodnight to Mama."
Sully glanced at the sheets hanging around the bed. "I don't think she wants ya comin' near and gettin' sick, too."
"I won't get sick. I promise," he replied.
Sully knelt down and picked him up. "Ya promise, huh? Well, we'll see if she's awake. Come on."
He walked over to the bed and pulled back the sheets. Michaela opened her eyes, a pile of damp handkerchiefs pressed to her nose.
"Michaela? Somebody wants to visit," Sully said, sitting the little boy on the end of the bed.
Michaela slowly sat up, taken aback by their chagrined expressions. "Do I look that terrible?" she asked, blowing her nose again.
"Ya look as beautiful as ever," Sully replied with a smile. "What do ya say? Ya need some fresh handkerchiefs?"
"That would be helpful," she replied wryly.
"I'll see what I can find," Sully replied, tapping Byron's nose. "No hugs now. I can't take care of any more sick people. I only got so many hands."
Byron waited for Sully to leave, then shifted closer to Michaela and cupped his hand around his mouth. "Mama, are you better yet?"
"I'm afraid not, sweetheart."
"Papa is not good at...at anythin'!" he exclaimed. "Cookin', cleanin', getting Jack quiet, teachin' us lessons, braiding Katie's hair. He messed her braid all up the first time and had to do it over again!"
Michaela chuckled. "I'll try to be better soon."
"Hurry up," he said encouragingly. "We're gonna starve if Papa keeps cooking!"
"You won't starve. I promise," she replied. "Go back to bed now, all right? What we all need now is a good night's rest."
"Papa said no hugs," he murmured with a small frown.
"Well, then you'll owe me some hugs when I feel well again," she told him.
Byron smiled. "All right. 'Night, Mama."
"Goodnight, sweetheart," Michaela said, patting his arm as Sully pulled back the sheets again and handed Michaela a new set of clean handkerchiefs.
"Here ya are."
"Thank you," she replied, immediately pressing them to her face and blowing her nose.
"Night, son," Sully said, patting Byron's bottom as the little boy ran back to his cot. Then Sully pulled off his shirt, reclining on his back on the bed and letting out an exhausted sigh.
"Anythin' I can get ya?" he asked, glancing at Michaela as she continued to blow her nose. "Some more tea?"
"No, that's all right," she murmured, curling up on her side with her handkerchiefs. "Goodnight."
He planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "'Night." He closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep almost immediately. Moments later, he shot up in bed, briefly disoriented. Slowly, he realized Jack was crying and Michaela was sitting up to answer him.
"Lie down. I got him," he replied, grasping her arm.
"I know those cries. He's teething again," she replied, falling back against the pillows.
He got out of bed and walked to the cradle, reaching inside. "Shh. I got him."
So much for a good night's sleep.
Byron stood impatiently by his bed as Sully combed his hair away from his eyes. The little boy was dressed in nothing but trousers and suspenders after his morning bath. Katie stood nearby in her shift as Brian helping her button up the back of her dress and apron.
"Ya picked out which shirt ya want to wear yet?" Sully asked impatiently.
Byron glanced once more over the pile of shirts on his bed, tapping his finger to his chin. "Not yet, Papa. Maybe the blue one. Or red. Or blue checks."
"Ya got one more minute to decide," Sully replied, parting the child's damp hair. "Or I'm gonna have to decide for ya."
Byron looked out the window as they heard a wagon pull up. "Somebody's here!" he shouted, pulling away from Sully's hold and running to the door.
"Byron, get back here," Sully called. "Ya ain't dressed yet!"
Byron tore open the door as Faye climbed down from the wagon and lifted Danielle from her basket. "Good day," she said cheerfully, stepping up onto the porch, a jar of applesauce in hand.
Byron grinned up at her. "Hey, Faye."
Sully opened the door wider and picked up Byron. "Faye, ya rode out here? Ya look real good."
"I feel good," she said softly, kissing the baby's head. "Kirk told me about Dr. Mike takin' sick. I thought I'd bring her over some of my applesauce. Goes down real easy."
"Thanks. She'll appreciate that," Sully replied.
Katie ran out the door, her dress unbuttoned and falling down her shoulders, and hugged Faye's waist. "Faye!"
"Katie! You're fallin' apart here!" she said with a chuckle, hitching the little girl's dress back up to her shoulders. "It's nearly time for lunch, Sully. You're just gettin' 'em dressed now?"
"It's noon already?" Sully asked with a sigh. "I lost track of time. I had to give 'em all baths this mornin'. We had a little...accident at breakfast."
Brian appeared in the doorway with a wry grin. "Pa was tryin' to make biscuits and the sack of flour got knocked over. It went everywhere."
"All of ya started throwin' it after that and makin' the mess worse, even Jack," Sully protested. "It wasn't all my fault."
"Sully, do ya need some help?" Faye asked. "I can cook up some lunch while you finish gettin' 'em dressed."
"I don't know," Sully replied. "Ya sure you're up to that?"
"Real food!" Katie exclaimed. "Please, Faye. Please, cook us lunch."
"After everythin' your family's done for me, the least I can do is put together one meal for ya," Faye said, patting Sully's arm with a smile. "Just let me say hello to Dr. Mike."
"She's in bed. I'll take Danielle for ya," Brian said, reaching for the baby and settling her over his shoulder.
Faye crossed the room to the bed, slowly pulling back the sheet Sully had hung in front of it. "Dr. Mike? You awake?"
"Faye? What are you doing here?" Michaela asked, opening her eyes and sitting up.
Faye nudged her back down and tucked the quilts around her. "Shh, now you mind everybody and stay under the covers."
"Faye, you look wonderful," Michaela remarked with a smile. The young woman's hair was pulled back neatly in a braid, she was dressed in a flattering lacy blue gown and apron, and her skin shown with color like it hadn't since before her baby was born.
"I'm havin' a good day," Faye said with resolve, sitting on the bed. "Danielle only woke me up once last night. I got lots of rest, and when I got out of bed this mornin', I felt real refreshed. I even got a few chores done. Then Danielle thought we should come out here and pay ya a visit."
Michaela patted her hand. "That's so good to hear. You're making progress."
"I'm sorry to say you don't act like you're feelin' as good as me," Faye remarked, pressing her hand to Michaela's brow. "You're so flushed."
"It's just a small fever," Michaela said disinterestedly. "To see you up and around like this is doing me better."
Faye placed the jar on the night table. "I brought over some of my applesauce. You can have Sully warm some up for ya later."
"Oh, thank you," Michaela replied.
Faye covered her mouth and grinned. "Poor Sully. He's lookin' after quite a handful today!"
"I keep telling him I'm well enough to help," Michaela said. "But he insists that I stay in bed."
"I have half a mind to send Kirk out here to get a taste of this," Faye replied. "What our menfolk need is to try out what we do every day. That'll be the last time they pester us about what we got cookin' for supper and when it's gonna be ready, or where their clean shirts are!"
Michaela chuckled. "You're probably right."
"Oh, Dr. Mike. Kirk and me were talkin'," Faye said suddenly. "Havin' my birthday party out here at your place really helped me feel better. We decided we should have a party of our own. We're gonna have Danielle christened at the meetin' house in Fresno in a few days, and then ride back to our cabin for a real celebration. We want all of ya to join us for supper and dancin'. Kirk's tunin' his fiddle and practicin' up for it."
"That sounds like fun. We'd love to," Michaela said. "I'm sure I'll be feeling much better by then."
Faye clasped her hands to her chin excitedly. "It's gonna be just like the socials we had back at home, what with the Donovans comin' out and now you, too!"
Michaela cleared her throat, suddenly apprehensive. "Oh. You invited the Donovans? I didn't know that."
"Of course we invited them. They're our neighbors, too," Faye said. "Oh, Dr. Mike. Ya just gotta come. Is it because of Carrie? Can't ya put your differences aside for one night?"
Michaela bit her lip. "Perhaps it might be better if I stayed home. Don't you think it might be a little...awkward?"
Faye sighed, dropping her hands into her lap. "I don't understand you two. You and Mrs. Donovan, I've never had friends more kind-hearted. Mrs. Donovan is always lendin' a hand with the baby, chops wood for me and just comes over to read to me and keep me company. And you, you've helped me so much, first with gettin' the baby here safe and then with how I've been feelin' afterwards. When I took that tonic...both of ya cared enough to ride out in a storm as fierce as I've ever witnessed to see to it I was all right. I just don't know how two people, as sweet as you are to me, can't seem to get along with each other."
"I don't doubt that Mrs. Donovan is very kind to you," Michaela replied, swallowing. "She and I are just so different."
"But we're different, ain't we, Dr. Mike?" Faye replied. "Just think about it. You know so much about doctorin' and lookin' after babies proper when I don't know a thing. I can't write much more than my name, but I bet you could write somethin' as long as a book with lots of big words, if ya had a mind to. And you and me both know we got some years between us. Still, that don't mean we can't be good friends."
Michaela remained quiet, considering Faye's words. The young woman had a way of putting things into perspective, giving Michaela a fresh look at the situation. Faye was right. Just because she and Carrie were different didn't mean they couldn't be friends. Still, she couldn't help but continue to begrudge all the spiteful remarks Carrie had made in her presence.
"At least she doesn't criticize everything you do, Faye," Michaela said. "She makes snide comments about everything from the way I dress to how I raise my children."
"Whatever she said, I'm sure she didn't mean it," Faye replied. "Just like whatever you said to her you didn't mean it."
"I haven't said a thing to her!" Michaela replied defensively. She bit her lip. "Well, perhaps I have...but only because she was going to strike her children as punishment and I just had to speak up. She lets Jim and Luke run wild. It's very frustrating."
Faye eyed her with a wry grin. "Like I said before, you two are exactly alike. Ya just don't know it." She clasped her hand. "Say you'll come to the party. All ya have to do is get along for a few hours. I just can't bear the thought of havin' my little girl's christening party without the two dearest friends I have in the world there. Come on, Dr. Mike. For me? And for Danielle."
Michaela sighed. "Yes, all right. For you and the baby."
"Oh, good. I can't wait!" she replied. "Oh, say, Dr. Mike? You bein' a doctor and all, and a woman...if I was to ask ya somethin' ... ya promise ya wouldn't tell nobody?"
"Certainly," Michaela said. "I always strive to maintain complete confidentiality between my patients and myself."
"Does that mean ya'll keep this quiet?" Faye asked, brow wrinkled in confusion.
Michaela smiled. "Yes. What would you like to ask?"
"With me startin' to feel better now and all and the baby a few weeks old," she began uncomfortably. "Well, Kirk wants to know ... I s'pose we both want to know ... is it all right if we...we, well, you know. Can we sleep...together?"
"Oh," Michaela murmured, clearing his throat. "Oh, well, yes. It's all right. As long as everything feels...comfortable."
Faye slowly let out her breath. "Good. That's good to hear."
"Is something wrong, Faye?" Michaela asked. "It's not uncommon to experience some pain. If you do, you should simply wait a few more weeks."
"No, it ain't that," Faye quickly said. "Dr. Mike? After you had your first youn'un, how long was it before Sully told ya it was time for another?"
Michaela couldn't help but chuckle. "Sully didn't tell me, Faye. No one has the right to do that. I would say it was more of a mutual decision."
"Oh," Faye murmured.
"Faye, what's wrong?"
She bit her lip. "Nothin'. It's just...Kirk's got his heart set on more. I mean, right now."
"Another baby?" Michaela said, startled. "Already?"
"I'm scared, Dr. Mike," Faye whispered. "I don't want another one. At least not right away like this. Mrs. Donovan says don't worry, I should just keep on nursin'. That's what she did and worked like a charm, she said."
"I'm afraid that won't necessarily prevent another pregnancy," Michaela explained.
"Then she lied to me?" Faye murmured.
"No, she didn't lie," Michaela said. "She's just...misinformed. Have you discussed this with Kirk? He needs to know how you feel."
"You mean, tell him I don't think we should?" she said, taken aback. "I can't do that. I got an...an obligation. I'm his wife."
"You also have an obligation to yourself and your body," Michaela insisted. "If you don't want another baby right now, you shouldn't be forced into it. You're the one that's going to be having the child, not Kirk."
"Ya got a point," Faye replied. "And it's a good thing too it's us that carry the babies. Kirk would never have the patience for it. Still, I already promised him lots of youn'uns and right away. He's gonna be mad as all else."
"Faye, the melancholia you experienced after Danielle was born, it could happen again," Michaela began. "From what I've seen in my practice, for some women, with each new child it can even grow worse."
"Worse?" Faye murmured fearfully.
"I'm not trying to tell you what to do," Michaela went on. "But as your doctor I would certainly recommend that you at least wait until Danielle is a little older and not so dependent on you. Then when a new infant arrives, hopefully you'll be less overwhelmed."
"I want more. I do," Faye replied quietly. "Just not right this minute. I want to enjoy Danielle for a little while first. And I don't fancy bein' big as I was all over again and havin' to lie around a whole day and night for a baby that don't got the least bit interest in turnin' herself around the way she's supposed to be or even in gettin' herself born in the first place. Here I just finally got through with all that!" She pressed one hand to her forehead fretfully. "Now to start it all again?"
"Then just explain this to Kirk," Michaela said. "He loves you, Faye. I don't think he'll be angry. I think he'll understand."
"So, how do we...not make a baby?" Faye asked awkwardly.
"Well, the only sure prevention is abstinence, but if you'd like I can share with you some methods that seem to be reasonably effective for many women."
"Oh, you'd do that?"
"Of course. I'll do what I can," Michaela replied. "But after you talk with Kirk and come to a decision together. It's very important to share your concerns with him."
"That's what I said to you awhile back," Faye said, eyeing her accusingly. "I told ya just talk to Sully about your feelins. About missin' Colorado. And you said oh, no Faye. I can't do that."
"Oh, well that's different," Michaela blurted.
"Well? Did ya end up sayin' something to him?" Faye asked curiously.
"Yes, eventually," Michaela said reluctantly.
"Did he decide ya could go back an' visit?" Faye asked. "I bet he told ya you could go visit."
"No," she replied, voice choking up. "He told me I wasn't hearing what he was saying. Although I suppose I was just as harsh."
"Oh, dear," Faye murmured. "Well, it's gonna be all right. Things'll work out."
"I wish I was as certain as you are," Michaela replied, a single tear slipping down her cheek.
He strolled over to the laundry line, deciding he could probably manage to take down their clothes with one hand while he held Jack with the other. He felt like he had been washing and hanging clothes for two days straight, and that wasn't far from the truth. He couldn't believe how much laundry a family of six could generate. No wonder Michaela hated doing it.
He unpinned one of Michaela's aprons and draped it over his arm, reaching up to remove the clothespins and toss them back in the canvas bag on the ground. He raised his head as a rider approached from the path.
"Sully!" Thaddeus called, jumping down from his horse and looping the reins around a tree.
"Hey," Sully called back, shifting the baby to his hip and repositioning the cloth back in the little boy's drooling mouth.
"You still holed up here?" Thaddeus asked, walking over to him and eyeing the clothesline. "How's the wife?"
"Doin' better," Sully replied, gently rocking Jack from side to side. "Still not up to gettin' out of bed though."
"What's wrong with him? Don't tell me he's under the weather, too," Thaddeus said, folding his arms and spitting tobacco juice to the side.
"He's cuttin' a tooth," Sully said with a sigh, smoothing the baby's hair sympathetically. "I was up all night with him."
Thaddeus removed the apron from Sully's arm and dropped it in the nearby laundry basket. "You weren't fixin' to put that on, were ya?" He laughed, slapping him on the back. "Careful, Sully. You stay around babies and cookin' and aprons too long you're liable to turn into a woman yourself!"
"If you came out here just to poke fun I ain't appreciatin' it," Sully said, briskly pulling down a towel from the line and dropping it in the basket.
"Oh, don't get sore now," he replied. "My woman would have me out doin' the same thing if it was her feelin' poorly."
Sully stepped closer to him, glancing at the cabin. "Thaddeus, do you realize our wives are doin' chores all day? I don't think I sat down once since Michaela's been sick."
Thaddeus swallowed, eyeing him curiously. "Well, I s'pose I never gave it much thought."
"I don't know how they do it," Sully went on. "Cookin' takes forever. Ya gotta build up the fire just right and open cans and boil water and measure out everythin'. Then there's all this cleanin' to do. In between that there's the baby and tryin' to figure out why he's cryin' and tryin' to get him to stop."
"And spit-up," Thaddeus added. "I always handed 'em back to Carrie to figure out when that happened."
"And spit-up," Sully said in agreement, eyeing Jack with a wince. "All this time I been wonderin' why Michaela's always so tired. Now I don't see how she stays awake at all."
"Well, that's a woman for ya," Thaddeus said. "Never could make much sense of them, don't suspect I ever will. Oh, by the bye, mail came today. Thought I'd bring it over." He dug his hand into his coat pocket and pulled out a small stack of envelopes.
Sully smiled, taking the envelopes from him and tucking them under his arm. "That's kind of ya."
"When do ya reckon you'll be back at work?" Thaddeus asked.
"I ain't sure. Maybe soon," Sully said. "Like I said, she's doin' better. Fever seemed down this mornin'."
"Glad to hear that," Thaddeus replied, clasping his shoulder. "Well, tell everybody I said hello. And take my advice, Sully. Whatever ya do...stay away from aprons."
Sully eyed him with a grimace. "Thanks, Thaddeus."
He gave Jack's nose a playful pinch and grabbed the reins of his horse. "Any time, Sully."
* * *
"Mr. Donovan brought the mail," he called, placing the laundry basket on the table. Brian looked up from stirring a log on the fireplace, eyeing the pile of letters hopefully.
Byron and Katie leaped to their feet and ran to Sully's side, all smiles.
"Who wrote us, Papa?" Byron demanded.
"One from Miz Grace and one for your ma from Dorothy." He grinned, waving the last letter. "And one from your gran'ma."
"Gran'ma!" Katie exclaimed, bouncing on her toes. "Let me see! Let me see!"
"Wait, wait," he said, holding up his hand. "Clean up your cards first. Then ya can open it." He put the letters on the table and settled Jack into his highchair, smoothing back his hair. "We gotta fold the laundry now, Jack. And you thought we were finally done, didn't ya?"
Brian tentatively circled around the children and approached the table, resting his hands on it. "Nothin' came from San Francisco...did it?"
Sully pulled out a clean towel and slowly folded it, shaking his head.
"It's been enough time now," Brian went on quietly. "It's true. He...he ain't writin' me no more."
Sully put the towel on the table and reached out to caress his shoulder. "You could be right. He could be just busy, Brian."
Brian pulled away from his grasp, walking across the room and grabbing his jacket. "I got chores to do."
Sully watched him go, then turned back to the children. "Kids, can ya sit here at the table with Jack? I'm gonna help Brian with the chores."
"Can we read Gran'ma's letter?" Katie asked, climbing up onto a chair.
He handed her the envelope with a smile. "Go ahead. Read it to Jack, too." He walked out the door and spotted Brian inside the fence, vigorously running a currycomb down a horse's neck.
Sully rested one hand on a post and watched him work for a moment. "I brushed all the horses down real good this mornin', Brian."
"Never can brush 'em too much," Brian said quickly, eyes focused on the task.
Sully took a deep breath. "Ya know, by the time I lost my ma and pa, I wasn't much older than you were when you went to live with Dr. Mike. I can't remember much about my pa. My ma was all I had, just like you."
Brian paused, briefly meeting his eyes. "What's that got to do with anything?" he asked softly.
"I'm sayin' I think I know some of the hurt you're feelin'," Sully murmured. "I know what it's like to have somebody leave ya behind."
"Your ma didn't leave ya on purpose like Ethan did to me and Matthew and Colleen," Brian replied. "She drowned. It ain't the same."
"Brian, that drownin', it weren't an accident," Sully whispered.
Brian swallowed hard. "Then she-?"
Sully nodded quickly. "It wasn't long after that I lost my brother, too."
Brian slowly looked up. "Is that why ya don't want Byron and Katie to ride the horses?" he asked.
Sully stroked his chin pensively. "That has somethin' to do with it. We all got our demons, Brian. And some of 'em are harder to fight than others. Then when Abigail, the baby...I felt like everybody I loved...I ended up losin'. I was real angry for a long time. I s'pose I had a right to be. I didn't want nobody and it seemed like even if I did, nobody would be there."
Brian lowered his hand, digesting Sully's words.
Sully ducked between the rails of the fence and entered the pen, standing on the opposite side of the horse. "I...I want ya to know that that's never gonna happen to you. No matter what happens with Ethan, you're always gonna have this family. You're always gonna be a part of us." He took a deep breath. "I wanna be your pa again, Brian. If that's what you want, too."
Brian circled the horse and faced Sully, eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry," he said unsteadily.
"I just want to go back to what we had before," Sully murmured, slowly extending his hand. "What do ya say?"
Brian glanced at the hand, then suddenly stepped forward and embraced him warmly, closing his eyes against his tears. "I'm sorry, Pa."
Sully held him tight, taking a deep breath. "Hey, it's all right. I am, too. You're right, I was jealous. But only 'cause...I was afraid I might... might lose ya, Brian."
"Nah, I ain't goin' anywhere," Brian murmured, slowly pulling back. "I made my decision. I'm stayin' here in Yosemite. Where I belong. With my family."
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