Lily! they exclaimed in unison.
She smiled. Hello. Very nice match, by the way. Congratulations, Lucius.
What, congratulations? His face clouded over. We lost!
Only by a hair, Lily said, still beaming. Come onIm inviting you both to a celebration feast the Gryffindor teams hosting.
Lucius scowled. Im not goingits just to see them gloat over us. Besides, Im their enemy.
Oh, no, youre not, Lily said calmly. The Ravenclaw team was their opponent at the last Quidditch match, and theyre being welcomed with open arms. I want you two to come.
Im not, Lucius shrugged.
I am, though, Severus decided instantly. Id rather.
Lucius stared at him in astonishment, and Lily smiled at him.
Thanks, SeverusLucius, sure you wont change your mind?
Im positive, Lucius said cuttingly. Ill live without it. He left the grounds for the castle, and Lily looked back at Severus, who shrugged.
I dont care. You sure?
Sure Im sure, she laughed, if youre my friend, youre coming. No questions asked.
Fine, he agreed. Now, where is this feast you speak so highly of?
The Gryffindors had their feast on the lawns that night; it was a warm April evening, and Sirius, Remus, and Peter had unraveled their plans to a few of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, who had been assigned the responsibility of sneaking the House tables from the Great Hall and carrying them out to the acres of grass near the lake. They surrounded a good bit of land, when placed in a U-form with spaces at the corners, and they were now official buffet tables.
The linen tablecloths had also been hooked, and Sirius and Remus had charmed the four long tables in the kitchens below the Great Hall that sent food up to the Hall tables to send their load up to the new arrangement, although the tables were on the lawns. True, their feast could have been stopped by the teachers, but Remus had procured a written note from Professor Dumbledore, saying that they were allowed to have their feast outside, which Sirius took to mean that they were permitted to bring food outside, as a feast was constituted mainly of food, and there were ants and fairy dust in the grass, so it would be unsanitary not to use tables, and as there were no other available tables that they knew of, these were the only choice. Even Professor McGonagall assented to that line of logic after she had been presented with it; though she warned them to have everything cleaned up by ten oclock.
The trophy was set in the middle of the center buffet table; it presided over everyone that nighttall and golden, with the Snitch poised atop it, wings fluttering gracefully, and with the winning teams House and names engraved into the base of it. The Quidditch team was grouped around it, and cameras were snapping everywhere. From somewhere, Sirius had persuaded a couple of groups of fairies to sit on the tables and inside bushes and trees as decorations, and they were fluttering and twinkling beautifully.
Lily led Severus over to one of the tables and handed him one of the golden plates. Help yourself.
He smiled at her, but the next instant he stiffened, looking at someone over her shoulder. Lily spun around.
Ohhello
What is he doing here? the arrival asked, looking Severus up and down as if he were an extremely squashed and large cockroach.
Hes my guest, Lily glared; do you have anything against that?
Yeah, James scowledhe had come over to get some desserthes a Slytherin.
So? Lily asked, her face almost frozen in a glare.
So hes our opponent, our enemy!
James, Lily said quietly, correct me if I am wrong, but is that Ravenclaw Chaser holding hands with Rebecca or not?
James swiveled. Yeah. So what?
I am getting tired of the word so. In other words, he was your opponent, too, and Severus wasnt even on the team. Youre being ridiculous, she almost spat out, each syllable drawn-out and tinged with contempt.
He frowned. Dont let me hold you up, then. Have fun with your boyfriendhusbandfiancwhatever he is, James said, waving one hand around as if it had lost its bones all of a sudden. Far be it from me to hold you two up.
James, Lily said quietly, someone wants you back in your crowd of admirers.
Really? James swiveled. Who?
Me, Lily glared.
Okay, okay! he mumbled, some friend you are. He left the table and rejoined his friends, who immediately cleared a path for him to the Quidditch Cup.
Severus put a hand on Lilys shoulder. You know, you didnt have to stand up for me. I could have done that
Severus, Lily interrupted, I dont want either you or James to get into a fight while were having a feast. No one out here has a tendency towards having body parts in their pudding.
Severus grinned at her. I guess youre right.
Lily smiled. I hope I am. Chocolate cake or chocolate gateau? she asked, holding a plate in each hand, weighing them in an imitation of a scale.
The rest of the afternoon was hot and sunny; and the night was beautiful; moonlight settled over the clouds at eight, and it twinkled merrily on the lake, which was constantly moving; three mermaids and one merman had popped out of the water, and they were being treated with butterbeer and several different foods from the tables. Lily noticed that they were quite like Litharelen, only not so much like the picture of the mermaid that hung in the prefects bathroom; their silver fishtails caught the candlelight from the tables, and the dark green eyes sparkled warily. Without meaning to, Lily sighed softly.
I wonder how Toms bearing up she murmered.
Tom? Severus asked.
Lily started. Oh, just a former friend.
Former friendhes not anymore?
I suppose he is, Lily edged.
Severus frowned. Whats his last name?
Why? Lily stiffened. This wasnt good.
I want to knowI think I know who he is, thats all.
Lily flitted to her feet and started walking away. Severus jumped up and followed her, taking her arm.
Whats this; whyre you so nervous?
Nothing, Lily said firmly.
LilyI wont ask you to tell me anythingbut is his name Tom Riddle?
Lily couldnt hide her astonishment. Eyes wide and short of breath, she swiveled towards Severus, who was gazing thoughtfully at her through clear, black eyes. What?
He turned her back around, and they started on a walk around the lake. It wasnt too hard to figure out.
How? she breathed.
Severus shrugged. Lucius fathers part of his band of Death Eatersand I know his fiance was murdered after Halloween. It wasnt hard to put togetheryou were staring at the mermaids, and I know she was an elf-nymph. Theyre not that different, actually.
Lily smiled weakly. Youre very perceptive.
Thanks; I try, he grinned. Then his face grew more serious.
Lily, I heard something about him having a brilliant little sidekick, one thats wonderful with the pentacorn he owns and that saved his fiances life His eyes were questioning now as they fastened upon her.
Lily shook her long, auburn hair back from her shoulders; she didnt care anymore; he knew too much, and he was safebesides, he could find out anyway.
Youre right. I did help him. I was involved with his band of Death Eaters, and I did help heal Litharelen when she was injured. I can ride Svordsja. What else?
Nothing, Severus venturednothingI didnt mean for you to blurt this out to me
They were next to the edge of the Forbidden Forest by now, and the noise from the feast had dwindled to a far-off tinkle of plates and shouts. They were very well hidden from sight; which was quite advantageous for their conversation.
I didnt blurt it out. You knew already, Severusits not as if I kept anything important from you. Youre very smart; you know that?
Even in the darkness, she could see his cheekbones turning red. Thanks, he mumbled. Nothing compared to you, though.
While Im at it, Lily continued, Id better tell you how I got there. Still, if Tom finds out, Im as good as dead, she said in the tone of someone talking about tomorrows forecasted rainstorm.
Remember when I got locked into the dungeon in first year? she asked.
Severus frowned. Of course.
You got me out of thereand you gave me this in the hospital wing. Lily had pulled out her necklace from underneath her robes; she took it off and let it glide into Severus hands. He touched it gently, then pressed it into her hand and closed her fingers around it.
Yes; what about it?
It transports me to the Alendoren Covewhich was where Tom had his hideout and where Litharelen lived. He told me that it would give him ultimate power over all mortals, which is why Im rather desperate to keep it from him. Lily wasnt looking at him; she was staring straight ahead at nothing; only she knew how much his answer would mean to her.
Well, then. Severus draped an arm over her shoulder, which was tense and unyielding. That makes me desperate to keep him from it, too, doesnt it?
He had never seen such relief as showed itself in her face after he said that. She turned to face him, her eyes alight with some inner joy, a smile sparkling at the corners of her mouth.
Thank you.
He hugged her slightly. No problem whatsoever.
She turned to the lake and the looming castle again, but she felt more reassured and comforted than she had in ages; what had just happened between them was more than their words could ever have signified, was more than words could ever describe.
They drifted back to the edge of the lake, where Lily quickly noted that they hadnt, to any obvious extent, been missed at all. Not that she normally would have been, but she suspected that the Marauders would be disappointed at not finding a good prank subjectthe one she knew their minds would instantly flit to was Severus. Still, as she cast a glance over the students, she noticed nothing wrong, which was a relief. They reassumed their walk around the lake.
After about ten minutes of walking in the dusk, Severus was the first to break the silence.
Lily, I want you to know I really do appreciate your trusting me with this.
She smiled and waved a hand, as if to say it was nothing, though they both knew better. Nonsense. You would have found out anyway. BesidesI trust you.
She could sense his cheeks turning faintly red again. Thanks, he mumbled.
Lily didnt ask him not to tell anyone; she knew he wouldnt. And he, on his part, was grateful to her for thinking so highly of him so that she felt she didnt need to ask.
They didnt say much as they walked back around the lake and rejoined the students that were stuffing themselves without a care in the world. Sirius and James saw them as they returned, but didnt say anything; they just cast a glance at each other, raised their eyebrows, nodded, and turned back to their fans.
That evening, at around eleven oclock, Lily had changed and was already in a nightgown when she hit her head lightly with the flat of her palm. Shed left her schoolbag down in the common room last night. Quickly, she threw on her dressing gown and flitted downstairs, scooped up the bag, and started for the marble dormitory stairs, when a voice stopped her.
Heywherere you going so fast?
Lily spun around. Oh. Sirius. I only came down to get my books she held out her bag.
I see. Sirius nodded. Still, I guess Iin the name of all the Marauderswant to ask you something.
She set her jaw; she had an idea of what was coming. What?
Where did you go with Snape this evening?
Lily had expected this; she let her bag fall to the floor and crossed her arms. No.
No what? Sirius was confused.
No. Thats all, just no.
You mean youre not telling?
Boy, are you smart, she scoffed. Of course Im not; youve got no business knowing absolutely everything about me. I dont know why, every time I spend any time with him at all, you four always have to know what goes on while Im with him.
Sirius sighed and stood up; he knew hed started wrong. Lily, I didnt mean it that way. Were worried about you; thats allhes a Slytherin, andwell, youre prettyWe just dont want him to get away with anything he might do, thats all, he finished rather lamely.
Thanks for the concern, Lily remarked dryly. Then her tone changed; she sounded like a mother tigress defending her children.
It wouldnt enter his head to do anything to me that even comes near whats revolving in your one-track minds. Hes kind, sweet, nice, supportiveeverything you four havent been over the years. Hes stood by me through everything Ive been through, and hes the best friend I could ever hope for. Satisfied? Or nothave I damaged your wonderfully nasty opinions of a Slytherin wretch?
Sirius backed down under her glare.
No--Lily, its not that.
What is it, then? She was still angry.
Lily, his friends are joining that Death Eater, that Voldemort rat, the one thats killed two families down in Kent so far. Youre Muggle-born, and Voldemort hates Muggles beyond anything else. If Snape joins himwhich I know he willyoull be in danger. Very great danger.
Lily tossed her head; she knew better. I am not in danger. Lord Voldemort is not going to kill me.
And how are you so certain? Sirius moved towards her and put a hand on each of her shoulders. He hates Muggle-borns; you know he does! All that stuff thats been in the paper tells of him killing Muggles and plotting against Muggle-born wizards. We dont want you to die, dont you understand?
She smiled almost vaguely; she was remembering Litharelen.
Sirius, he wont touch me. I give you my word for that. Not with a curse nor anything else. Go back to bed; youre talking blarney.
Sirius didnt let the subject drop, but he couldnt get anything else out of Lily, and, after leaving the common room and reaching his dormitory, he moodily reported to his friends.
She stood up for Snape.
James sighed. Wed practically expected that. Whatd she say about him?
Hes nice and noble and sweet and lots of other stuff--Id be sick if I related them to you. That should give you the gist, anyhow.
Remus fell back against his pillow. Whatd she say about Voldemort?
Sirius shrugged. Nothing. Not really. She just told me that he wasnt going to hurt her, and that I should back off. That you three should, too. He flung himself onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. Im worried about her.
As are we all, James snapped. But I do think you should take her word for everything concerning Ter--Voldemort. I think she knows more about him than we think
Sirius had pushed himself to a sitting position. Oh, really? What makes you think that?
Nothing, James blushed, nothing.
Liar. By now the three of them had surrounded James four-poster. Tell. Were the Marauders; we tell anything.
Remus eyes were narrowed. Does this have anything to do with what we didnt see on the map?
Huh?
James, you idiot, you know perfectly well. As soon as we made that map, we saw that sometimes Lily wouldnt be on it at all, no matter where in the castle we looked. You said youd find out, and you never told us if you found out anything. I think this is the time to tell us.
James eyes opened wide. He couldnt tell them; he couldntthis was Lilys secret; it wasnt his, no matter how much he wished it was.
I cant tell you, he said curtly.
Oh, yes, you can, Sirius stated coolly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Weve got all night.
Sirius. James turned around and glared at his friend, something he hardly ever did in earnest. I cant tell you. Ask hershe might tell you, but Im not entitled to.
Oh, right, Peter scoffed. You just dont want to admit you took her to Hogsmeade or somewhere when you were supposed to be spying. How many timesve you kissed her, huh?
James swiveled. Peter, youve said enough. Shut. Up. Now. Peter cringed almost invisibly, and, satisfied, James turned to Remus and Sirius.
Okay, okay, so I cant tell you what she was doing, but it wasnt what Peter just said. He fell back against his pillow, telling himself that this was going to be an extremely stupid revelation.
Id much rather have been doing what he described, though.
WHAT? The three others in the room exploded with the same word, and Frank Longbottom, who had the fifth bed in the dormitory, good-naturedly yelled at them to shut up, then turned around and resumed sleeping.
Peter almost fell down. You would have rather been doing what?
Sirius almost couldnt speak. WhatwhatYoure a Marauder, for Petes sakeyou cantyou cant
Youre not in love, you prat, are you? This surprised James, because Remus was usually calm.
No, Im not!I justI just like her, thats all, he covered with an utterly nonconvincing shrug as he sat up again.
Sirius frowned. And for how long? Do you realize we tell each other everythingEVERYTHING?
James sighed. I dont know. I guessfourth year, fifth year. Something like that. It seems like forever.
I thought as much, Sirius mused. Way back when you handed in your Anatomy homeworkwell, whatever subject it wasand said it was hers
So its not a random little infatuation with the punch in the jaw shed give you if she found out?
Peter! Remus glared. Dont say thathey, we dont know shell do that, do we?
Yeah, its a toss-up between the left hook and the knee in the groin, James said dryly. I havent got a chance.
Sirius nodded slowly. Why havent you got a chance?
Peter had been itching to say something for the last few minutes, and now he had his chance. So do you want me to tell Lily tomorrow?
NO! This could have come from ten voiceboxes, judging from the amount of volume James produced. Peter, dont you [i]dare![/i]
Why not? Shes nice to you, isnt she?
James sighed. I know, I know. But it seems that no matter how nice she is to me, she still hates me desperately underneath. I dont know what to do.
Franks voice floated from across the room. Okay, either invite me to join in to the conversation or keep it down!
Okay, come on, join us, Sirius griped as Frank, grinning, swung his feet out of bed.
So whats this I hear about James?
Hes in love with Lily Evans, Peter said smugly.
James snapped around. PETER!
Im sorry! he whined. But you are, arent you?
Sirius smacked him on the back of the head. Peter, you prat, hes not old enough to know what love is. Grow up. He turned to Frank. Only problem dear James has is that shes one of those lovely delinquents that hate the thought of romance. Besides, she hates his twisted guts.
Ah, Frank nodded. I see.
As do we all, Sirius sighed. Oh, the twisted complications and triangles of love!
Triangles! James almost spat out. What?
Snape, James, all four of the boys told him.
Oh. James cheered up. Well, thats good, then!
Howgood? Remus was curious.
Wellshed never be interested in someone like him! Andand besides, hes a Slytherin. Lily knows better than that. Even in his own mind the words sounded stupid.
Sirius snorted. James, youre a bloody idiot. Remember what I just said? She said she didnt care if he was a Slytherin or not; she said that he was extremely nice and sweet and I dont know what all.
Yeah, Peter echoed. Remember?
If James had been a girl, the noise he let out could have been a whimper. I know.
And what about that Richard kid she got that ring from? Remus asked, and both Sirius and James eyes turned quickly to large dinner plates.
I forgot about him, James mumbled.
Obviously, Remus commented. And hes more likely to get her than Snape is.
But hes a Muggle, James almost wailed. She cant!
James, hate to break it to you, but this is Lily, Sirius sighed. Shell do what she wants to, and if you tell her not to, she will, just to spite you. And it always turns out okay for her in the end, so she hasnt learned the meaning of the phrase cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Frank nodded. This I can confirm.
Youre also remembering Serena, arent you? Sirius, as usual, had mentioned one more down side.
Damn. James hit his skull against the headboard of the four-poster. Ow.
I take that as a no. Remus almost smiled. You know, for the Head Boy, you really are a bit clueless.
Gee, thanks, James snapped. You four, go to bed!
He was surprised when they obeyed.
That night, only Frank, Remus, and Peter slept well. James, for obvious reasons, was tossing and turning and throwing pillows off of his bed for the entire night, and Sirius was lying in his own four-poster, staring at the ceiling. Both of them were thinking the same thing.
If Snape gets to her first, I dont know what Ill do.
At around five in the morning, both of them pulled aside their curtains at exactly the same time. They grinned weakly at each other.
Better hope Franks not a blabbermouth, huh? James said wearily.
Lets hope, Sirius agreed.
Rather dismally, they showered and got dressed, both of them arriving downstairs together. James looked at the Potions essay he had due on Monday, and that he hadnt finished yet.
Id better get started on that, then, he mumbled.
Sure, Sirius agreed. He flung himself down on a sofa, staring at the ceiling. The only sound for several minutes was the scratching of James quill, the crumplings of parchment bits, the flicking of pages in James Potions book, and his frustrated grunts as he threw his quill in the fire, then singed his eyebrows neatly as he retrieved it.
Smart, James, Sirius commented absently.
Yeah, I know, James groaned. Now Ive got no eyebrows. At least Snape has those.
Dont worry about Snape. He asked her out during Christmas break in fourth year, remember? And she said no.
Yeah, because she was too young, James grumbled. Shes sixteen now. Almost seventeen. And as far as I know, she hasnt even kissed anyone yet.
Youre complaining?
Nono, Im not! Im not, he said. Well, maybe. What ifwhat if
Sirius sighed. What if what?
Erwell, you know Ive not the nerve to ask her anything of this sort, dont you?
What sort? Sirius asked innocently.
Please, dont start. Youre just better at talking to girls than I amerrephrase that. Were all good at talking to girls we dont like. Do you think you could talk to her for me?
So I dont like Lily, Sirius thought dryly. You have no idea.
Aloud he said, Okay, shoot.
Shoot? James was confused.
Yeah; what do you want me to say to her?
Oh.
Exactly, Sirius commented. And Im not talking to you for her.
Why not? James looked hurt. I thought we were supposed to be best friends or something in that area!
Sirius rolled his eyes. We still are. Its just that if you dont do this, then you wont have the guts to do anything else, like offer her a wedding ring.
He knew perfectly well what he was doing. Sirius knew that, one, James wouldnt have the nerve, and two, if he did, Lily would discourage every hope he had somehow. At least, he was praying for that. He couldnt go up to her and to ask her if she liked his best friend in a more than friendly way when he liked that same girl. It just wouldnt work out well.
Yes, James was his best friendbut James got everything else, alwaysand hed been cruel to this girl so many times, and then Sirius had been there for her, and shed cried into his bloody shirt, for crying out loud. Shed trusted him with stuffshed confided in himand, anyway, James wasnt exactly terribly nice to her, and if he had liked her since fourth or fifth year, then he showed it in an awfully odd way
Fortunately for him, James wasnt psychic, so he just sighed and stared into the fire. Thanks, SiriusI guess Id better.
Go for it, then.
But I dont know Unconsciously, James raised a hand and tried to make his hair lie flat. What if I get scared or something and she thinks Im an utter pillock?
She does already, Sirius grinned. Go dispel that illusion.
But
But what?
James threw more bits of paper into the fire, causing it to flare up. I dont know how to act around her.
Then learn, Sirius said brutally.
Wow, James commented. Some friend.
Its five-thirty in the morning, and I havent slept all night. Im not a morning person, as you should know.
I do know. Sohey, I need help. What do I do about Lily?
Sirius shrugged; then his eyes lit up almost unnoticeably. Speak of the devil.
Lily hadnt slept too well that night for some reasonafter Sirius finished talking to her, shed heard faint yells from the boys dormitory, and she simply couldnt fall asleep after that. What on earth was so wrong with her standing up for Severusor liking him, for that matter? Simply because he was in a different House didnt give four bigheaded Gryffindors the right to dump on him every single time they saw him. As far as she could see, it was unreasonable hatred on both sides.
Finally, Lily gave up on sleep and threw her dressing gown on; with a Herbology book in her hands, she stepped downstairs quietly; only five steps away from the common room did she catch Sirius eyes and the last few words of the conversation.
James was glaring at the fire, and something had happened to his now nonexistent eyebrows. What do I do about Lily?
That was when Sirius had seen her white nightgown and half-smiled at her, shrugging. Speak of the devil.
Lily smiled faintly and moved into the common room, the train of her nightgown trailing behind her. Up early, are we? What happened to you two?
Why? Both of them were confused.
She laughed. James, youre missing your eyebrows, and both of you are up before seven. This calls for an explanation.
Oh James shrugged, shamefacedly trying to cover up his forehead. I couldnt sleep.
Ah. Sirius nodded. I suppose Ill use the same excuse. I couldnt sleep.
Lily tossed her hair over her shoulder, laughing again. I thought Id come down here to study, but I guess thats going up in smoke.
Yep, James nodded philosophically. Thou shalt not have the semblance of an idea concerning studying around any member of the Marauders.
Oh, really?
I made it up, but so what?
James had been shooting Sirius several death glares, and finally Sirius decided that eavesdropping would be much more fun than mooching around the common room. Stretching a bit for Lilys benefit, he stood up.
Im leaving. Need to catch up on sleep, he muttered.
He dragged himself out of the common room, and, to break the newly-frozen ice, Lily ventured a question.
What were you two talking about before I came in?
He turned his attention to his essay again. Ohnothing, really. Not anything youd be interested in.
I heard my name, she stated calmly.
It wasnt anything about youwell, not really.
Not really? She was eyeing him with suspicion nowhad he told Sirius anything about Tomabout Voldemort, that is, and her affiliation with him?
No. James broke the conversation off. It wasnt.
She felt slightly hurt; she hadnt said a thing to him that could possibly, to her mind, be construed into anything rude, and here he was, being an unreasonable prat to her. Almost unconsciously, she drew up her barrier; the one that prevented anyone from reaching in to her.
Have it your way. Her tone had changed; it was scathing and scornful; just the way she felt. James looked up, and she could see the surprise in his eyes.
Hey, whatd I do this time?
You were rude, she stated clearly.
WhatHow was I rude?
Lily just looked at him.
Never mind.
I thought so.
Lily mentally hit herself; even if he did have something against Severus, and even if he was perfectly willing to do anything to break the two of them up, she really had no right to be this mean. Unbeknownst to her, he was thinking almost the same thing.
You think you bloody love her, for cursing Snape out satisfactorily, (he was getting sick of the phrase crying out loud) and here you are, being a prat to the girl youd most want to be anything else to. He let his head drop onto a pile of books, and it responded with a painful smack. Lily started.
James, are you all right?
He had hit his head on his Transfiguration bookmaybe because he was tired, and it had startled her momentarily. She whirled around, eyes full of concern piercing his gaze, which quickly dropped.
Noyes, Im all right. Im just being stupid
You sure you are?
Yeahhey! That was not nice!
Lily was slightly puzzled, but she didnt let him know. What wasnt?
You just made me call myself stupid, didnt you?
He hit himself again. I shouldnt have pointed that out!
She laughed again. True. I hadnt noticed that before.
Sirius was sitting moodily on the marble steps of the boys dormitory. So much for leaving them alone to fight, he thought.
He walked back downstairs, gracefully tripping over the hem of his pajamas and tumbling to the foot of the stairs. Lily whirled around.
SiriusYou all right?
Sure, surefine. Sirius obviously didnt want this to be commented on, so Lily let it drop.
Okay, then.
She turned back to her book a few minutes later; the boys obviously didnt want her around, but she had no intention of leaving just for their benefit. Frustrated for some reason, she curled up in the armchair and almost completely blocked herself from anything or anyone else in the common room as her mind dived into the book.
A half hour later, though, she couldnt have told an interrogator what had been on the last fifty pages. Lily had been musingwhy werent the boys acting as usual? First they were up at five in the morning, secondly, when she came down and tried talking to them, they tried to avoid her and she almost got into a fight with James for no reason at all
Loudly, she slammed her book shut and stood up, slipping it onto the table, ignoring the stares she knew she was receiving. She had to do something to sort out this confusion in her mind, and she did the best thing she could think ofleft the common room without so much as a word for anyone, and strode lightly towards the entrance hall.
The stone walls, for the first time in weeks, were stifling hershe had to get outside, must do somethingcouldnt stay cooped up in a castle forever
With difficulty, she unbolted the large front doors and pushed one of them open only wide enough for her to slip through. Stepping outside, Lily stood up straighter as the wet, dewy air sank into her mouth and flowed down her throat. She hadnt done this in ages and it felt wonderful
Ever since Litharelen died, she had tried to push away all thoughts of her friend. Now, they flooded back
Lily hadnt ever really liked Litharelen; she had vaguely been annoyed by her at times, but Lith was the one that had taught her to ride; she had been Lilys first acquaintance in Albaniaand apart from everything else that had to do with her, Tom had loved Litharelen, and still did. A lump rose in Lilys throat as she recalled the pain in Toms face as he caught her moments after her death, as she was falling to the ground.
Tears blinded her; they ran down her face and intermingled with the wet dew on her dressing gown as she leaned against a supporting tree; they were running for Tomfor the life he was facing now
The lake waters she was fixedly staring at rippled softly as a small bird skimmed the top of it and flew off into the distance. She gazed at it until it flew behind a cloud and was hidden from her sight.
Lily didnt even notice that someone had caught up with her until he slipped his arm through hers. Whats wrong?
She turned to him, not bothering to wipe her tears away. I dont suppose you would take the excuse Nothing, would you?
James put an arm around her shoulders. If it makes you happy, sure, Ill accept it.
Lily was surprised; she took a step back and passed her hand across her eyes, removing the waterfalls in her eyelashes. Why arent you tormenting me for a reason?
You dont look in the mood for it, he said simply.
She wasnt crying any more, but in gratefulness, she let her head bury itself in his shoulder, and both of them stayed there, almost unmoving; the only thing that separate them from wax figures was the continual small, quick breaths Lily was taking in, trying to stop, but not being able to.
Finally, when she had calmed down, Lily turned away again, almost as if she were embarrassed to be seen while she was at one of the weakest points in her life. Why did you follow me?
I figured something was wrong. He didnt try to turn her around, and Lily was thankful for that. I was worried, thats all.
She nodded vaguely and he could tell she wasnt absorbing anything he had just said; her eyes were fixed on the rising sun.
Suddenly, she pivoted to face him, holding onto his arm with a death grip, one that almost made him lose the feeling in it.
Its Tom. I cant help ityou have no idea what hes facing, how much he loved Litharelenand now shes gone, and the first thing he was living for is destroyed. IIm glad now he desperately wants power, otherwise this would consume him, eat away at him; hed leave the world and sit somewhere, cut off from all people, waiting to die, helping the process if it didnt go quickly enough.
She took a deep breath and went on. I know hes a murderer, James, but no matter what hes done, hes a person, too. He loved herso much it hurt.
Lily finally looked at him, not through him, and smiled slightly, releasing her grip on his arm. I know Ive never loved, and I know youre being skeptical of what I tell you, since you think Im making this upJames, even murderers can feel, and this one is almost past the brink. Hes in trouble. I dont care what he didno human deserves a fate like hes facing.
Hey! James took her chin in his hand. I did not say I didnt believe you."
He looked at her eyes for a split second, trying to summon up the courage he thought was buried somewhere in him. Then he almost exploded inside.
Oh, go to hell with courage! Go ahead! Who knowsyeah, exactly, who knows? You pratyou idiot, you might not have another chance
He couldnt do it. He couldnt. What if she hated him from this day forthbut then again, why should she? It wasnt as if he was blowing up Hogwartsgo on, she might want you tois that why shes not moving? Or is she just waiting for an answerand is she going to hate me for all eternityoh, what the hell!
He didnt care anymoredidnt care if this would blow up the whole stinking globenot now. Not now. Maybe hed regret it later, but every single thought of remorse was banned from entering his conscious thoughts.
Slowly, he leaned forwardthe world was rushing and whirling in his earsalmost
