Lily's mental note not to scream when the bats escaped from under the stage and attacked everyone was wise. She was the only girl that stayed where she was, and her only response when Sirius 'dropped' a bat into her pumpkin juice was to calmly dump it and the liquid into his hat and put the hat on his head. No one tried that again.
Later on in the evening, someone put a radio in the middle of the room and turned it to the Wizarding Wireless Network, and the party went sort of–well, not wild, but more insane. The boys that were dancing (Peter wasn't one) were doing all sorts of gymnastics, and there was always the chance that they would knock into a table and send food flying on someone (usually Peter). And when they dragged the girls into it, they kept pretending it was a sort of cheerleading competition and throwing them up into the air. More than once. Lily had to kick people so as to stay on the ground.
It was only when a fast, fast song started with a quick beat, that she actually dared to come out onto the dance floor, which had been formed by the armchairs and tables being pushed against the walls. Remus had pulled her onto the floor, and, a bit shy at first, she started to dance, twirling and spinning and switching partners. And when she got used to it, it consumed her, and whatever it was that had been oppressed inside her that whole evening spun out as she did, and she lost herself in the movements. It was so easy for her to laugh, and she did, laughed lightly as the ringing of golden bells. And there–then at that moment, there wasn't a girl in the room that could contest her, either in spirit or face. The wildness and escaping energy of the moment flushed her face and put a fire in her eyes, and, untamed and ferocious as she was, she didn't fail to, unknowingly, change something in everyone there. Of course, in the girls' case, it was more a jealousy thing than anything else.
The excitement lasted in her until she came upstairs and got undressed and washed her makeup off. As she was lying on her side, reading Macbeth, Serena came upstairs and headed straight for Lily.
"What was the meaning of that?"
"Of what?"
"Your–your behavior down there!"
"I was dancing, dear. It's not my fault if either James wanted to keep you in a corner or you can't dance."
"I do hate you, Evans."
"Likewise."
"What made you think you could do that?"
"Do what? Dance? I had no choice."
"Liar! You've made just about every guy in this stupid tower crazy about you, and you know it. Don't try to play innocent. I know the truth."
"Since when do you know what that word means? The many times you've lied, it seems to me that you haven't any idea that such a thing even exists. And I can assure you, no guy would willingly run after me. You'd have to pay them to do that. Of course, you're also probably paying James to put up with your nasty character."
"You are going to shut you mouth right now,–or else."
Lily deliberately stared at Serena, quizzically searched her face, and dropped her jaw as far as was possible.
Serena stepped forward, thought better of it, turned on her heel, and jumped into bed, tearing the curtain where it was attached to a ring as she yanked them shut.
Lily fell asleep not long afterwards, and dreams of her mother haunted her all night long. That wouldn't have been so strange, but the odd part was that she kept dreaming about places and parties and plays she had never before seen her mother in. More than once she woke up with her face wet.
She woke up early; about six-thirty. Since the party had ended around three, she supposed everyone was still asleep, so she quickly got dressed and went outside; taking The Norse Myths with her.
It was nicely warm outside; about sixty-five degrees. Lily headed straight for a tree near the lake that had two roots that twined to form a sort of makeshift seat. Resting her head against the tree trunk, she opened her book.
Feet crackling near her made her look up. "Oh, hi!"
Sirius sat down. "You're up early."
"Likewise."
"No; I never went to sleep. McGonagall made James and me stay up, cleaning up the common room." He wrinkled his nose. "Then I saw you heading outside, so I followed."
"Why?"
"I don't know–could be because I'm sick of hearing someone blab about what his girlfriend did that night and how exactly she frowned and smiled."
Lily raised her eyebrows. "He does that?"
"Well–not this morning, but I figured I'd leave before he got started."
Smiling slightly, Lily closed her book. "I see."
"By the way–" Sirius fiddled with a piece of grass–"you did really well last night."
"So did you."
He shook his head. "I can't act like that. If I did well at all–it was mainly because you were playing the other character."
"Come again?"
Dropping his shoulders, Sirius seemed caught for words. "I–I'm not sure–it just seemed–well–when you were on that stage, it seemed as if you really were Milady. Don’t laugh–but I really did feel that way. You moved and talked just like she would have, and–well–well, you were perfect."
Lily laughed. "Don't ever call anyone perfect. There is not a single person on this earth that is."
"You were, though. I wish–I wish–tell me. How did you learn to act like that?"
Puzzled, Lily shrugged. "I never learned anything. I haven't been in any plays–nothing–only Mother was." Her eyebrows knitted. "But I just–I just–there was something about that place that seemed to make everything on the stage real–so real–and the audience vanished. I just found myself being that woman and saying what she would–and it came naturally."
"That's scary."
Lily frowned. "What is?"
"That the part of a cold-hearted murderess came naturally to you."
Smiling, Lily tossed her head. "Well, it did. Mother–" her eyes lost the temporary sparkle–"Mother played her, before she married Father."
"Oh. You told me that when I suggested that–"
"I know." She cut him short so smoothly it didn't seem like an interruption.
"Lily?"
"What?"
"Is there anything anyone can do to make you happy again?"
Lily stared at him with eyes unseeing, and, after a few minutes, he understood, at least partly. Taking her by the shoulders and lightly shaking her, he was startled to find himself facing the same deep, bottomless eyes James had seen when he had shaken her out of a half-trance on the morning of the first day of school. Dark and frightened, deprived and saddened, those two orbs stared at him as if they were outlets to her soul. But soon the curtains fell over them again, quickly, and left the mocking, slightly sad eyes he knew so well.
"There isn't, is there?"
Slowly at first, then determinedly, Lily shook her head. "No."
Sirius nodded, understanding. "It's time for breakfast–you look hungry. Come on in."
Lily shook herself, then stood up. "You're right. I'm being stupid. Let's go inside." She walked beside him into the Great Hall, not listening to his explanation of how he hadn't said that she was stupid.
When they got into the Great Hall and found seats, Lily was surprised to find that half the school was there. She had expected them to be asleep, but–but, well, they weren't. And when Sirius steered her to a place, she found herself next to the two conspirators and organizers of the night before.
"Hi!"
"James! You finally got those bats cleaned up?"
James grimaced. "Yeah. And I'll bet McGonagall's gonna put some bat remains somewhere like inside sofa cushions, just so she can watch me clean it up. She's much more stricter than her mom."
"You just noticed that?"
"No. I'm restating a fact. Lil, how are you?"
"Hum?" Lily looked up at him from over a glass of milk. "I'm fine."
He put a hand on her arm. "Listen, you were really great out there last night."
"Out where?"
"That skit you and him–" he jerked his thumb at Sirius–"performed. I didn't know you could act like that!"
Sirius shrugged. "I told her that, but she won't believe me. Seems like she doesn't believe anything good about herself–do you?"
Lily stared at him disbelievingly. "There isn't anything to believe!" She set her piece of toast down, pushed her seat back, and left the Great Hall, leaving the two boys staring after her unbelievingly.
Sirius was the first to stop. "I told you!"
"She really doesn't know? She could have a career in that! And be making millions a year besides–why doesn't she believe us? Or anyone, for that?"
Sirius shook his head. "James, it's partly your fault."
"My–" James partly stood up. "My fault?"
"Yeah!" Sirius refused to be impressed with James' balled fist. "You were the one that told her that the only reason you were her friend was that she looked nice. Now you're seeing the consequences–and so is she."
James sat back down, seeing Sirius's point. "Yeah, I suppose. But is there anything I can do about it?"
Sirius smirked. "So–Miss Cissa isn't so perfect anymore?"
James scowled. "Sirius, shut up!"
"You didn't deny it!"
Frowning, James dug into a piece of bacon. And he still didn't bother to deny Sirius' statement, something Sirius was quick to notice.
The first Quidditch match was scheduled between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, a week away from Halloween. Everyone was excited, and no one more so than the team members themselves. And no one was more tired than the fourteen Quidditch players–they would walk into the Great Hall in the mornings after training sessions held by torchlight and going on far into the night. Their record was a Gryffindor one–five thirty a.m., but Ravenclaw wasn't so far behind with four forty-five a.m.
Every team member had dark circles around their eyes, and Sirius and Remus had managed to persuade Lily to help them with their homework. It took some talking, but Lily was finally won over, and she spent her mornings from two to six suggesting points to put in essays and checking calculations on Astronomy and Divination papers. She began to go off food, and her breakfasts were usually a piece of toast while she was correcting Study of Ancient Runes translations in the library.
The teams began calling her the 'savior student', and they were relying heavily on her, for if they failed their classes, they would be kicked off of the Quidditch team. Lily was a bit unaware of the importance her previous studying and notes was doing for them, and they were glad of it, for if she had known, she could easily have blackmailed them into doing anything she wanted.
Friday's lunch period was hectic. Lily was correcting the sketch of the planetary positions in the year 1875 on July 31st for a sixth year, crossing out grammatical mistakes and false statements in the History of Magic essay for a seventh year, and glancing over the summary of the chapter on vampires for a third year. And when she got into Anatomy, she was even more tired than any of the team members, and it was only when Professor Maar asked them for their drawings of the niffler's muscular system that it hit her–she had meant to do it when the Gryffindors were practicing, but then the Ravenclaw captain had begged her for help.
Her head sank down onto her desk; she had never failed to turn in an assignment before now, and she waited nervously for the end of class and for Professor Maar to assign her detention–he was very strict about homework.
It came as a relief and a shock to her, therefore, when he didn't ask her to stay after class–the only thing he'd said as they gathered their books was, "Mr. Potter, see me after class."
She went through Potions in a sort of puzzled state, and she hardly noticed when James stepped in, handed a hurried note to Professor Cauldwell, and took his place at the cauldron next to hers and Remus'.
Sirius poked James in the side. "What was that about?"
"Maar asked to see me after class."
"Why?"
"I didn't have my homework."
Lily heard that and jumped in. "But you did–I saw you doing it last night!"
James shrugged. "I didn't have mine."
"You mean you didn't have it with you? But surely he'd let you go get it!"
James sifted ground fruit fly wings into his cauldron. "I didn't have it."
Puzzled, Lily turned back to her cauldron, pulling hippogriff feathers out of a bag and grinding them. Sirius searchingly stared from her to James, who was fixedly stirring their potion.
"James!"
"What?"
"Don't give me that innocent look. You handed yours in, didn't you?"
"My what?"
"Stop that! You handed your work in under her name, didn't you?"
James didn’t say a word; just went on stirring.
"That's gonna slop over in a minute. Turn the heat down a bit. You did, right?"
Shrugging, James knelt and turned down the flame. "So?"
Sirius frowned. "You've lost your mind. What do you think Serena's going to think?"
"Cissa isn't going to think anything of the kind. Lily's been so busy helping us that she didn't have any time to do her own work–and a detention and a zero's not going to hurt me. She takes grades much more seriously than any of us do."
"Uh-huh, yeah, right. You'd better hope Serena's not going to find out!"
James straightened. "Sirius, she isn't."
"She isn't?"
"That was a not–so–subtle hint. Cissa isn't going to find out."
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "All right, fine. But if she does, your life isn't going to be worth living."
"I know."
"And you did it anyway? Geez, you're insane!"
Sirius had been wondering whether to tell Lily about that afternoon, and finally he decided to, even though it might not turn out so well for him. So, that night, when Lily was doing a History of Magic essay for Nigel, a shadow fell over the two rolls of parchment. She looked up.
"Sirius! Sit–" She looked about her; the chairs and tables were littered with quills, books, parchment, and pencils. "I'll get you a chair." She started to clear away some of the clutter, but Sirius stopped her.
"I don't need to sit to tell you this. You do."
Lily shrugged. "Sure, if you say so." She tucked one leg under her and put her quill down, looking at him expectantly "Shoot!"
He stepped in front of her. "You know, this afternoon in Potions?"
"What about it?"
"When James came in late because he didn't turn in his homework for Maar."
"Oh, yeah, that. I was a bit surprised–I saw him doing it–and the funny thing is, I was the one that didn't have mine."
"It's not that odd."
She raised her eyebrows. "It's not?"
"He handed in his stuff under your name."
Lily's eyes widened, and her lips parted. "He didn't!"
Sirius nodded. "He did."
"Why?"
"He said something like you had been helping the team out so much, and a zero would matter more to you than to him. Something like that. But I really don't believe it."
Lily frowned. "I don't see why you wouldn't. It was nice of him–but he didn't have to."
"Exactly. That's why I'm more than a bit suspicious that that wasn't his real reason."
Lily looked up. "Sirius, what're you trying to say?"
"You haven't noticed, have you?"
"Noticed what?"
"I'll take that as a no. But really–it'd take someone who's lost all their senses to not realize what's going on."
"I'm perfectly sane."
"Not like that–I mean like you can't see, feel, hear…that kind of sense."
"Oh. Then you must have all those in excess, because I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at."
Sirius threw his hands into the air, secretly relieved. "All right, fine! Never mind. I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow." He headed for his dormitory, and Lily stared after him as though he was an escaped lunatic.
The next morning, Abigail was shaking Lily awake. Lily had fallen asleep with her head on Translations and Runes, and Abigail had to work hard to get her up.
"Wh–what time is it?"
"Ten till ten. Hurry! We'll miss the match!"
Lily shook the sleep out of her eyes as she jumped up with a hurried "Thank you." She started for her dormitory, but Abigail held her back, pushing the Gryffindor scarf Remus had given Lily in her first year towards her friend. Lily smiled quickly, tied the scarf around her waist, as it was hot outside, and both of them started for the doorway, arriving at the Quidditch field and taking their places just as the Quaffle and both teams rose into the air.
The Ravenclaw commentator had graduated, and a Slytherin fifth year had taken over, who was quite a biased person to choose. As the teams took off, so did the commentator, closely watched, as usual, by Professor McGonagall.
"Aaand…they're off! We've got a new Chaser here–Rebecca Oxley, and she's taking over for Ashley Thomas. Oxley gets the Quaffle, heading for the goalposts–Quaffle goes to Potter–Shaw–and a bit of fantastic Bludger work by Ravenclaw Beater Gates. Quaffle in hands of Ravenclaw Chaser Newby–Park–Newby…Newby flying with Potter right next to him–kick him offa his broom, Newby!–Professor, I wasn't serious!–anyway, Potter gets the Quaffle–probably cheated–what am I saying–must have cheated; he's a Gryffindor, for Pete's sake!–and there goes Potter–dodges a Bludger–nice try, though, Gates!"
The Gryffindors were pulling ahead, thirty to ten, and the Ravenclaws weren't responding well.
"And that was a nice punch in the nose to Potter–well done, Gates! Oh, too bad–Gryffindor penalty. Better luck next time! Shaw throws…Patton intercepts–never mind. Gryffindor point–forty to ten. Patton, you gotta try, you gotta try!"
The Gryffindors were still ahead, and quickly, as a stormcloud grew larger over the edge of the Forbidden Forest, so did their score. The Snitch was nowhere to be seen, and, as drops began to fall, so did the spirits of the students, thinking they were doomed to be out here till nightfall in the pouring rain.
Everyone was shielding themselves from the pouring rain by holding cloaks over their heads. Lily found it a bit odd that several boys were offering to hold their cloaks over her head, and she was deeply grateful when Sirius got her out of that situation when he yelled over his shoulder, "A little rain never hurt anyone, and if it did, she'd be inside!"
It started to thunder, and Lily was soaked from head to foot. So was everyone else, and the robes that Sirius and Remus were holding over the three of them were starting to resemble a waterfall. Even wringing them out didn't help, and they had resorted to adding their cloaks, Lily's scarf, and Remus' sweater. Dimly, through the rain, they could hear the commentator.
"And I just got a raindrop in my eye and we need to get new tents–these things are soaked! Professor, there's this company that sells waterproof–"
"MURPHY!"
"Oh, right. Potter in possession of the Quaffle, Oxley–Shaw–Oxley–Potter–Shaw–Potter–and they don't–dammit, they score. And it's obvious that they must have hexed the Ravenclaw Keeper–Gryffindor ahead, ninety to sixty. And something practically knocks Venn off of his broom–come on, Venn, that was only a Bludger–wait, no, it wasn't! Venn! Venn! Snitch down by goalposts at Gryffindor end–MacGregor catching up…what–SH–"
"MURPHY!"
The stadium exploded, especially from the Gryffindor end. Anya was rising into the air, fist clutched around a golden, fluttering walnut.
"Right, sorry. John Winters launches mean Bludger at Venn, and MacGregor get the Snitch–score's three forty to sixty for Gryffindor, and we need new tents!"
Relieved, excited, and drenched, the Gryffindors poured down onto the field, hugging the team members and lifting them high into the air. Anya, the Seeker, was grinning so hard her smile crossed on the back of her head.
When they reached the entrance hall, their excitement was so electric and they were so wet that they didn't even stop to curse at Peeves, who had decided to dump buckets of water onto them. They reached Gryffindor Tower quickly, and entered and attacked the pre-prepared feast with just as much speed.
Lily could tell that several someones had been to Hogsmeade by the amount of butterbeers, slabs of Honeydukes chocolate, levitating sherbet balls, sugar quills, and the like. She suspected Peter, for she hadn't seen him at the match, but then again, she doubted if he'd have the gumption. The midpoint of the feast was a large cake in the shape of a broom–someone must have placed a special request in the kitchens. It was a red velvet cake with pale gold buttercream icing, and when Frank Longbottom bit into his slice, something exploded inside his mouth–someone had put a wet-start firecracker inside. Lily thought she could put a name to that someone–there was only one person at Hogwarts so obsessed with firecrackers. Still, the cake was very good, and so was everything else, though she steered clear of the Fudge Flies James had described for her in her first year–they were supposed to have a tint of blood flavoring.
They went to bed late; around two, though Lily stayed up a bit later to show Miranda exactly what was meant by an eclipse of a half-moon. When she woke up, it was ten in the morning, and Lily was a bit miffed to find that she had missed breakfast. However, she wasn't really complaining–it was the first time in a week that she'd gotten over four hours' sleep–it usually had been under. She felt a rustling underneath her hand and sat up in bed.
Pulling a letter out of the envelope, she quickly unfolded it.
Lily,
This isn't usual, this method of writing, at least not for me, but we asked the Ministry of Magic for an owl to send something to you, and they gave us one free of charge. We need you to come home. I don't know quite what's happening, but it has to do with Mum. Dad's not bearing up too well–overwork and late nights, and plus–I've heard him mumbling Mom's name in his sleep. It's driving me crazy, along with him, and we need you here. Forget your dumb school. This is Dad we're talking about, and that's way more important than learning how to wave a wand. Come as soon as possible.
Petunia
Lily looked up, half in shock. "Please God, not him and Mom! Not both of them!"
Ignoring the strange stares of everyone in the common room as she dashed through and pushed open the portrait in only her black nightgown and a navy bathrobe and slippers, she raced for the staff room, looking for a teacher, any teacher.
When she knocked, pushing the door open, she encountered something she hadn't expected. Professor McGonagall was in there, hat askew, gesticulating wildly at two people in front of her. Lily recognized them–Severus and James. But when Lily closed the door, Professor McGonagall stopped her tirade, straightened her hat, and turned to Lily.
"What is it?"
"I–I–" Lily's voice shook. "I need to speak to Professor Dumbledore, please."
Professor McGonagall eyed Lily suspiciously. "May I understand the circumstances?"
"It–it's–I–" She stopped, couldn't go on, and Professor McGonagall suddenly looked worried. She shooed the boys out of the room, and as they left, relieved, she moved towards Lily.
"Miss Evans?"
Lily shook. "I–I need to see Professor Dumbledore. Please. I–I have to–it's terribly important."
Her face turned a deathly white, and she came close to fainting, but Professor McGonagall caught her just before she hit the ground and set her in a chair.
"I will be right back." She left the classroom and closed the door silently, and it seemed hours before Dumbledore entered the room, dark blue robes and long, gray beard swaying.
"Miss Evans?"
Lily stood up and silently handed him Petunia's letter. He glanced quickly through it, then put a steadying hand on her shoulder.
"We will send you home immediately. You will not have to make up any work for any of your classes. I will have a house-elf take your things down to the train as soon as you have finished packing." He looked very serious, but at the same time compassionate and Lily felt strengthened as she left the room.
When she walked through the common room, Sirius tried to stop her.
"Lily? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Go away."
James and Remus had now climbed over the backs of a sofa. "Lil, what's wrong?"
Lily almost snapped with impatience. She whirled on the boys, who backed away from her quickly.
"I told you nothing's wrong. You're going to believe me when I say so, for if I do, it means I don't want any interfering idiots pulling at my sleeves with their stupid 'What's wrong, Lily?'s. I'm sick–sick to death of all you shallow brats, and thank God I'm leaving!" She whirled around and went to the girls' dormitory stairs, but James grabbed her arm.
"Lil, really, you can tell us!"
She had had enough. What with the fear of her father possibly dying any instant coupled with an enraged impatience, she reached back and hit him across the face with all the force in her arm. Lips drawn back from her teeth, showing pale pearls, and cheekbones sticking out of her face, she was frightening. In anger she was more defensive, horrifying, and aggressive than anyone they had ever met before, and James drew back from her with an aching head and the clear mark of a handprint on the right side of his face. With a last glare, she vanished into the gloom of the dormitory stairs, leaving the boys behind her baffled and stunned at the ferocity and suddenness of her attack.
Inside the dormitory, she ignored the puzzled glances Elspeth and Diana were giving her, and hurriedly started to throw things haphazardly into her trunk. When she had finished, she slammed the lid down with a loud bang, pulled a philosophy book out of her pillowcase, and retreated down the stairwell. She hadn't said a word since she had left James, Sirius, and Remus, and if it hadn't been for the packed trunk, the inmates of the room would have thought that they had been dreaming.
James tried to stop her again in the common room, which was both very brave and very stupid.
"Lil, really! Tell me–what's going on?"
She snarled, turning on him like a cheetah whose kittens were in danger. "You never learn, do you? Get out of my way!"
"Lily! We're not letting you leave like this!"
"Oh, you're not? Well, you're in for a surprise. I am, and you're not stopping me–GET OUT OF MY WAY, POTTER!"
She shrieked that last bit, and it left her hoarse, besides attracting the attention of the entire common room. Lily raised her hand again as he didn't move, but with a quick gesture, he caught both of her wrists and simply looked at her. That stare took all of the wrath out of her, and she stood there, limply. Then, regathering her strength, she pulled away.
"Get your hands off me, you fool." A bit surprised when he obeyed and stepped out of her way, she neverthless pushed her way out of the masses that had gathered, pushing aside the portrait.
Professor McGonagall met her outside the portrait, and she steered Lily outside, where the giant of a gamekeeper met them, and he walked Lily down to the train station in Hogsmeade, where a relatively tiny train met them. She was put onto the train, along with her trunk and the gamekeeper, who was serving her as a sort of guard and guide. With a piercing whistle, the train took off and moved out of Hogsmeade.
The almost-giant's name was Hagrid, she found out, and beyond that, she knew nothing about him, as they passed their trip in silence. When, hours later, the train pulled up at King's Cross, Hagrid escorted her out through the barrier, steered her towards a Ministry official in a green uniform, and said goodbye to Lily with a hard clap on the back as the car the official had brought moved out of the parking lot.
She didn't even need to tell the man her address; he brought her straight to her home and held the car door open for her as she stepped out. And as he took her trunk out of the car and dragged it to the door, Lily was almost bowled over by her older sister, who had been waiting at the door. She had flung it open and rushed for her sister, grabbing her around the neck and crying heartily. This unnerved Lily more than anything else–it must be very bad if Petunia was hugging her, a witch, for comfort. She thanked the Ministry official politely, offered him a Galleon, which he declined, and went inside in search of her father.
Petunia shook her head when she opened the door that led to her parents' room.
"Lily, he's at work. He always is, now–and whenever he comes home, it looks like he's seen a ghost. He'll be home in about three hours."
Lily glanced outside, which was black as pitch, then at the clock. "Three hours? Tunia, it's ten thirty!"
Petunia nodded sadly. "I know. He's always out this late."
Lily shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs away, then turned to her trunk. "Tunia, help me carry this to my room?"
Her sister nodded. "Sure." Together, they grasped a handle at each end and managed to maneuver it up the stairs and to Lily's room. Exhausted, they sat down on the bed, breathing hard.
"Tunia, you're sure about this?"
"Lily, I've got eyes, haven't I?"
"All right." She sighed and heard her stomach rumble. "You hungry? I'm starved."
Petunia nodded. "I'm terribly hungry. I can't cook so well–and Dad–well, he hasn't bothered lately. I've just been going over to Vernon's to eat."
Lily nodded. "Anything in the refrigerator?"
"Sort of. Some onions, milk, eggs if they're any good, and butter. We have some potatoes in the pantry–and a tiny bit of flour. I used the last bit of cocoa powder and sugar this morning when I was bored, and I haven't any money to go shopping with. We have lots of spices, but you can't live on that."
Lily frowned. "That's going to change. Come downstairs with me." Determinedly, she walked to the bookshelf that included her Jewish Kids Catalogue, and pulled it out, flipping to the page that held recipes. Picking out the simple latkes recipe, she went into the kitchen, pulling out a grater, knife, and a bowl. She burrowed for a while till she found some good potatoes, but when she did, she lost no time paring the largest three and handing them to her sister, along with the grater and the bowl.
"Grate these. Mother taught me how to make this, and if I tell Dad that, he's going to eat if I have to force it down his throat." She set herself to paring an onion, and she saw out of the corner of her eye the obvious relief of her older sister; that someone was finally taking over.
They spoke over the food; Petunia told her sister all about her father's behavior as she cracked the eggs into the grated potatoes and onions, and Lily told Petunia of some of the things that had happened at Hogwarts as she flipped the latkes over the burner on the stove. Several regular potatoes were left over, and those Lily chopped up and threw into the pan along with a pinch of cayenne pepper, some bits of sliced onions, and the rest of the butter. As she placed the glass lid on top of the pan, she asked her sister about the money situation.
"How much do you have?"
"Lily, I have one pound and that's it. Absolutely it. Dad hasn't been giving me my allowance, and I'm only fourteen–they're not hiring me anywhere."
Lily frowned. "Do you think Vernon's parents could take us to London?"
Petunia was startled. "I'm sure they could–why?"
"I still have money in my vault at Gringotts–I could exchange that. But do you know what he's been doing with his salary?"
"I haven't asked."
But at two, when their father finally got home, Lily knew. When her father stumbled in the door, and sat down at the kitchen table, gripping his head in his hands, she could smell the strong scent of liquor, and her shoulders slumped. Forget relying on him for money–she'd have to handle this. Handing her father a plate full of food she'd warmed up, she watched him eat as she poured him a glass of milk and explained that Petunia had asked her to come home.
Lily finally saw him to bed at three, and then only she let herself flop into her own bed. She fell asleep almost before she hit the pillows.
She woke up in the morning to find her sister shaking her shoulder violently. Sitting up quickly and rubbing her head where she'd hit it on the wall, Lily faced Petunia.
"What?"
"Dad's about to leave for work, and I don't know how to stop him!"
Lily swung her feet out of bed. "How ready is he?"
Petunia shrugged. "He doesn't have socks or shoes on yet, but he told me to get him a thermos of black coffee. He said his head was ready to explode."
Lily didn't bother to put on her bathrobe. She simply ran down the stairs into the kitchen, took a quick look at the phone numbers posted on the refrigerator, and dialed her father's boss' number.
"Mr. Grant's office?"
"Yes, this is Mr. Evans' daughter. Will you please inform Mr. Grant that Mr. Evans is sick and will not be arriving today?"
"I will tell him. Thank you and have a nice day!"
Lily hung up. "I'm gonna need that!" Shaking herself, she rushed to the medicine cabinet, running her fingers over the different bottles, finally landing on one labeled Sleeping Pills. Shaking all of the pills out of the aspirin bottle, she dumped the sleeping pills into the aspirin bottle and took it along with the thermos of coffee to her father, first making sure the coffee was decaffeinated.
"Dad?"
He was fixing his tie in front of the mirror, but at the sound of her voice he turned. "Hi, hon. Is that coffee?"
She nodded. "It is. Petunia told me you have a headache?"
"Not just a headache. Feels like someone was crushing my skull in a hydraulic press."
Lily shivered, but pulled out the aspirin bottle. "Dad, try this. It might help."
She dropped the pill into the coffee, stirred it a bit, and handed it to her father, who immediately gulped down half of the thermos.
"Thanks, hon. Oh, man–dear, would you tell Grant I'll be a bit late? I've got to take a short nap–"
Lily nodded. "Of course. You rest. Love you, Dad." Giving him a light kiss on his forehead, she left the room, closing the door softly.
Outside, she met Petunia.
"He's asleep? How–"
"Sleeping pill. Don't ask. I'm getting ready, and you ask Vernon's parents if they can take us to London. Tell them the whole darn story–I don't care, only please manage to keep quiet that we're going to Gringotts."
"Sure–but what should I tell them?"
"Anything. I've got a bank account there is fine. Just call them!"
"All right." Petunia vanished down the stairs and picked up the receiver while Lily pulled her hair into a somewhat sloppy braided bun and slipped into a pair of jeans and her blue blouse. The burns she had received that summer were fading, and there were only a few pale pink spots where the black skin had been, Lily was pleased to note.
Petunia came back up just as Lily was pushing her feet into a pair of tennis shoes. "His mum's taking us. She has to go to London anyway, so it's fine with her."
Lily nodded. "When's she picking us up?"
"Ten minutes. I'll go get ready." She went down the hall to her room, and Lily busied herself by locating her Gringotts key, her wand, and the bit of money she had left over from that summer, along with her bag. Then, hurriedly, she rummaged her father's briefcase for his keys. They left the house, locking it firmly, just as Mrs. Dursley pulled up in their driveway. Petunia chattered with her while Lily sat in the back seat, already exhausted, knowing the worst was yet to come.
Mrs. Dursley set them off in front of the bank that was on the other side of the record shop that bordered the Leaky Cauldron, and they had to go inside and wait there till she pulled away. Then, dodging through the rotating door, they slipped inside the Leaky Cauldron.
Making it through unnoticed, they reached the alley. Lily pulled her wand out and tapped the bricks, and immediately, they moved aside, forming an archway large enough for the both of them to pass through.
Ignoring the odd looks she was getting from some of the grownups (no kids their age were home at this time of year; they were all at school), they made their way into Gringotts, where, after a wild cart ride, Lily emerged with fifty Galleons. Petunia had declined the ride.
Pulling her sister along with her, Lily marched down to a free goblin, asking him to exchange her money for Muggle currency. He asked no questions, simply handed it out to her, and, relieved, Lily and Petunia walked outside into the bright sunlight.
As they were moving towards the exit leading to the Leaky Cauldron, Lily knew she must have jumped even farther than Petunia did when someone laid a hand on her shoulder.
"You're Vanessa and Eva's friend, aren't you? What're you doing here?"
Lily spun around and recognized someone she knew; Mr. and Mrs. Doylen. They were looking at her with polite puzzlement, and they were even more startled when her eyes dilated in a sort of fear, she rapidly turned and dragged her companion out of Diagon Alley with her. Lily didn't stop till they were outside the Leaky Cauldron, and only then did she allow herself to breathe normally and let her fingers go of Petunia's arm. Petunia rubbed the spot where Lily's fingernails had dug in, and she frowned at the nailmarks.
"What'd you do that for?"
Lily pulled Petunia to a nearby bus stop. "They're my friend's parents, and I was scared that I'd have to explain to them what we were doing here. I didn't want to start bawling in the middle of Diagon Alley."
"Oh. Where're we going now?"
"Supermarket nearest home. Come on!" The next bus came fifteen minutes later, and they were a block away from the closest store to their house in another fifteen. Lily handed her sister a list of things they needed that she'd made while on the bus, and, forty-five minutes later, they were standing at the cash register with a few loaves of bread, milk, eggs, butter, orange juice, some different cuts of meat, a large assortment of fruits and vegetables, coffee, flour, sugar, bags of rice, some pasta and quite a few cans of tomato paste, soup, and other things. It cost Lily half of her withdrawn money, but she was satisfied with the result as she crammed the refrigerator, freezer, and pantry full of their purchases that had close to broke both of their backs when they were carrying them home. But neither of them complained as they replaced sheets on beds, took down curtains and shook out rugs, washed and folded six large loads of laundry, ironing three out of the six, and mopped and vacuumed floors and carpets. When their father woke up, they had done a thorough house-cleaning, besides putting lunch on the table. When he woke up and drifted downstairs, he was greeted with an, "Afternoon, Daddy!" and a bowl of some sort of stew along with creamed corn and a choice of orange juice or milk. He hadn't the strength to ask where this all came from, simply accepted it. This scared Lily, for he was behaving like a three-year-old, taking everything for granted, and it frightened her to think she might have the responsibility of the household descend on her tiny shoulders.
The Ministry sent an owl a week later, and they visited to check up on them in two weeks. Lily was proud to tell them that everything was going smoothly; she had seen her father off to work three days after she came home, he was coming home by six, smelled just like the coffee that she knew the employees had in a coffeemaker down in the basement, and to top that off, the house was clean, the refrigerator and pantry stocked with food from her father's last paycheck, Petunia and she had the time to attend the neighborhood school, and she and her sister were getting along perfectly.
It surprised her to see the regularity with which the household was running since she came home, but she had no idea that it was all due to her. She simply thought that everything was going nicely because her father had given up drinking, and she certainly didn't think that she was filling her mother's place. The truth was that her father had missed her mother so much, and now that there was someone so like his dead wife running the household, it seemed as if she wasn't dead at all. And Lily didn't know this, but Petunia was shuddering to think of what was going to happen when Lily returned to Hogwarts.
