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All rights reserved. No part of this website may not be reproduced by any means without the written permission of Tarcisius Studios (Proud sponsor of the 1934 penguin olympic games at McMurdo Sound, Antarctica). No fur-bearing animals were harmed during the creation of this website. Allergy alert: may contain nutmeg, but we doubt it. Return for refund where applicable. Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets. Batteries are included -- best  of luck finding them. May cause irritability, sleeplessness or warts after prolonged use. Contents under pressure. BHT added to preserve freshness. Caution: this product has caused some laboratory rats to rip through their cages, fly across the room and brutally murder hundreds of innocent people. Shake well before using. No vacuum tubes or other user-serviceable parts inside. Not to be combined with other radioisotopes except under the advice of a physician. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. The truth is out there.  Not intended for use by children or liberals under the age of five. Not labled for individual sale. Printed on unrecycled dead trees and we're proud of it.The material featured in this website is not suitable for normal people. If you are unsure of your normality or your ability to handle this material, please exit this site now. "I'm off to DreamHost!"