Cat Scratch Fever
What's all this fuss about a little Bad Kitty in our beloved (hiccup!) Downtown?
Posted on July 16, 2003

Recently, I went to a party in my hometown. It was the first time in years that I had seen most of the partygoers. They all asked me the same thing: Where are you now?

When I said Lafayette, the general response was something along the lines of, "I heard you can get really trashed there!" This party was located more than 135 miles from Lafayette and attended by people who rarely venture out of Kentwood or Tangipahoa Parish. Think about that - Lafayette is not known for its music, culture or "high moral standard." It's actually known for the less-than-commendable talent of getting you inebriated.

What's that high moral standard I speak of, you ask? Well, that's what our City Prosecutor Gary Haynes used to justify the seizure of 233 adult movies from The Bad Kitty. Turns out, unbeknownst to me, that we are trying to maintain a high moral standard. In fact, he told The Daily Advertiser, "We have here a very decent community with very high values, and these are the kind of things we will fight to keep out."

Just to be clear, it's wrong to provide adult videos, some less hardcore than what is coming through your television on DirecTV or Showtime, to consenting adults, but it is OK to have bar after bar providing gratuitous amounts of liquor to folks who get behind the wheel and wreak havoc and death on the streets. Let's be honest. People drink, people drive. What do you think harms our community more: carpal tunnel syndrome or a boozed-up driver?

According to Miller vs. California, which set up standards to determine if porn can be sold in a town, whether something is obscene or not is a community's choice. Also, this landmark case protects all those throb mags down at the newsstands. They escape thanks to the SLAPS test. For something to be obscene it must be lacking in Serious Literary Artistic Political Scientific value. Ever wonder what that article about decriminalization of marijuana is doing between the pictorials of naughty coeds in Swank?

Now, let's take a look the actual store. I'll admit I was a little apprehensive when I heard that an adult novelty store was coming to (hiccup!) Downtown. My concerns were heightened when I saw the hot pink paint and leopard print carpeting. The whole time, a couple of doors down, kids were learning karate. But, I knew I wasn't the only one raising an eyebrow. And I was right. Soon letters to The Daily Advertiser began to bemoan the sale of pleasure toys in our beloved (hiccup!) Downtown. One even brought up STDs, which is so related to the sale of self-pleasure devices and naughty movies.

However, when the doors came open in April, I ate a little crow. The store is swanky but not seedy. There are no foot-long tools in the window. No dirty pictures beckoning passers-by. No XXX neon signs. You don't feel dirty when you leave. And, most importantly, there's no admittance to minors. The movies ... tucked away in the back. You can't rent them. Reportedly, they aren't cheap to buy, which would increase access to them. These are only for those who have a serious taste for skin.

What is also interesting is that none of the store's toys were taken during a Lafayette Police Department raid recently. It appears that it is OK to buy and use a double dildo or other devices of self-pleasure in this highly moral community, but you can't watch said act on a DVD. In the meantime, nude and semi-nude dancing - which were outlawed in clubs with booze - continue (Lipstick, The Bourbon Street Doll House, Graham Central Station).

All the while, no charges have been filed. It now appears that the cops can take your property, hold it without knowing whether or not it is illegal, decide that it is illegal and not press a charge against you.

Personally, I don't advocate a porn shop on every corner. But, I don't think that will ever happen here. And in these trying economic times, should we really be oppressing small businesses?

However, if you really want to prove your high standards, why not let The Bad Kitty serve as a measuring stick for our community? If we really are so pure, then no one will buy their movies and The Bad Kitty will go away. Perhaps it might be a while before anyone considers another adult boutique in beloved (hiccup!) Lafayette. On the other hand, they may move some serious copies of Where the Boys Aren't 32, proving that those community standards are a little outdated. So, what are we afraid of?