Bunny Bread, Anyone?
Or ''The Things I Don''t Understand About This Town Vol. 1: The Little Differences, The Danny''s Fried Chicken Story.''
Nick Pittman / Assistant Editor
Posted on November 20, 2002

Maybe I am just a simple country boy, but since I moved here in 1996, I have encountered some things that I still don't understand. True, I only relocated from two hours away, but, in some ways, it is like a whole different country south of Interstate 10.

Not counting obvious cultural and language differences - just what are you saving dishes from? - there are things that even after assimilating into the culture I just can't grasp.

One thing I have never understood is the differences in retail in this part of the state and my home area. Down here, people find you odd if you ask them to direct you to the nearest Ward's hamburger stand, Danny's Fried Chicken or if you say you want to buy some Bunny Bread. But probably the strangest thing I have ever seen in these parts is the Our Gang situation. Here, it is a video rental store. Back home, Our Gang - same logo, same colors - is a clothing store.

Speaking of cuckoo businesses, did you ever notice how some local entrepreneurs can't decide on what to stock their stores with and wind up selling two different lines of specialized goods? Now, I understand the diversity there is in the crap they sell at Wal-Mart and Big Lots, but I don't get the different specialty stores crammed into one locale.

Key example: Fremin's Food & Furniture. Why does a furniture store need to sell groceries or vice versa? I don't think I have ever been in a grocery store and thought to myself, "Damn, I really could use a nice leather loveseat to go along with my eggs, milk and cereal right about now."

Nor have I have been out shopping for a lovely sectional, took it up to the register and said, "Gimme a pound of sliced roast beef and a quart of orange juice." How does this work? Who goes shopping for both food and furniture at the same place?

On that same coin, I know things are a little relaxed around here, but places like Philip's Wholesale Tobacco & Candy are just baffling. How does one sell both tobacco and candy? What is the clientele like in that joint? Do little kids armed with enough jawbreakers to rot the teeth of an army mosey up to the counter right alongside leather-faced smokers hacking and wheezing as they stockpile their stogies?

Speaking of kids and adult products, I recently heard a radio commercial for Tony Robichaux's baseball camp for kids. There's nothing wrong with kids out learning the old ball game, but did they really have to make one of the sign-up spots Tobacco Plus? Is that sending the wrong message to kids, or am I just crazy? "Come on, kids, let's hustle down to the cigarette stand and sign up for some athletics. While you're there, be sure not to start a bad habit."

Speaking of bad habits, who was drinking what when they laid out the roads in this town? It's not the streets that are screwed (even though most are narrow dead-ends) it's just ... have you ever noticed that they magically change into other roads or defy normal street logic? Why does Johnston Street become Louisiana Avenue? Why does a street in Broadmoor dead-end into another, just to reappear a block over?

And then there's the whole drunken donkey show ...

Calling all Comrades!

We interrupt this Third Opinion for a special report and call to action. If you Third Opinionites haven't noticed by now, The Times is no longer running our assortment of comics. Seems some folks didn't like our choices or the views expressed therein.

So what did we do? Did we offer an opposing viewpoint? Instead of thinking of the children (who really aren't supposed to be reading our paper), did we think of the starving artists supported by our purchase of these comics? Did we stick to our guns as the paper that makes you talk, think and protest (even if it is talk bad about us, think about bombing our building and protesting our offices)?

No! We dropped it because a few stale chips in this town lack a sense of humor. If you want generic, bland mainstream comics stick to The Daily Advertiser! If you want edgy, hip and alternative comics to go with the edgy, hip and alternative publication (that we are supposed to be) you are holding in your little hands, let your voice be heard! If you are a patriot of pissing off the curmudgeons or just a fan of free speech, mail us a letter or e-mail me and let your Opinion be heard!