you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever
_laying in a bathtub full of freezing water, wishing you were a ghost_

home prose poetry blog about me quizzes playlist spotlight links cliques guestbook e-mail

But once you knew a girl
& you named her Lover
& danced with her in kitchens through
The greenest summer

12.8.03
Updated: none. I know that I've been a little slack. Just hang in there for me until I get through with all this crap going on.

"Sweet Minders"
When the world fades to white,
When I cannot see what's in front of me,
I need your drug to escape the BLINDING DAY,
Where the sunshine is manufactured
In a windowless room*; burning artificially,
Like their compassion made from synthesis. [this.is.hell.]

Self-rescue is introspective masturbation;
You have given me the pills & I have locked them in my psychology.
The key, burnt & thrown away, like the rot hiding in all the prettygirls.
Your tongue, grazing over my freezing ear
Your words, sliding down my bitten neck
Your sweat, fusing into the pores of my scarred body
This is my mind, sweetly SCREAMING to your spell

& when all of this is over,
It's just us, your arms around me
The stars that try to compete to our heat
The rooftop that struggles to hold us with our wings
The world that explodes chunks from LOLLIROT** as we watch it fall
The dream that will never die because we built our own world away from the blinding day.



*"Here in this collapsed lung of a borough, there is no sunlight. The sunlight is manufactured in a windowless room, distant & incoherent; businessmen hang themselves." _Thursday, "Paris In Flames"
**"We are all candy covered on the outside. Peel away the shell and we're rotten on the inside, lollirot." _Jack Off Jill, "Lollirot"

Current Music: "My Favorite Chords" The Weakerthans
7.56 PM - *C*

11.26.03
Updated: none.

Hrm. Well things aren't looking up for me. A good bit of my Thanksgiving plans are fucked over for many different reasons. And I have a sore throat & I'm coming down with a cold. I hope it's over soon.

Since my original plans for today had to be cancelled, I'll probably be spending the day at home, reading Kerouac & talking on the phone & watching TV. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there. Once this sore throat goes away, I'm going to be happy to overeat turkey & stuffing & mashed potatoes & shop away the next day.

This dress makes me wet. I wish I could make something like that.

I'm still a bit lonely. So if anyone wants to send me some cheer... please do.

Current music: "Alcohol & Oxygen" Anadivine
12:45 PM - *C*

11.24.03
Updated: one new prose & quizzes.

I'm losing touch & it's killing me.

Today I probably got the worst case of PMS I have ever gotten before. During the last period of the day, I went to the bathroom & sat on the floor for fifteen minutes crying for no particular reason. Then I went back to my class & my teacher just kind of looked at me funny. I don't think she likes me very much.

So on my way home, I:
1. honked several times at an old man that passed me.
2. drove on the other side of the road as cars were approaching & switched to the right side when I got close. It was amusing to see the cars slow down & honk at me.
3. flicked off a man who waved at me.

& did I mention that I almost got in another wreck this morning? I was going 55 down the road & a man decided to pull out of a neighborhood onto the road without yielding to me.

Looking at the world & seeing how fake & two-faced everyone is makes me want to puke. Get rid of your fucking affectations.

I wish my parents would stop arguing.

I am so lonely. Even though I have a boyfriend & I talk to him on the phone & whatnot almost everyday, it's so hard for me to see him for various reasons. It's not the same as it is face-to-face. Last time a bunch of us hung out was... ten days ago? Ten days too long. I haven't had real touch in such a long time. My body is itching for it.

I'm a fucking ray of polluted sunshine. Fuck you.

Current music: "Vampyre Erotica" Inkubus Sukkubus
6:28 PM - *C*

11.15.03
Updated: quizzes.

Hot Topic sells baby clothes now & I think it's hilarious. See for yourself. If I ever have a baby I'm totally getting him/her plaid pants or a plaid skirt & a Rancid onesie. Teehee.

Find your birth month & cross out things that are not true of you.

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.
_______________________________________________
FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but those not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
_________________________________
MARCH:
Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
_________________________________
APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their luver can see.
_________________________________
MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
_________________________________
JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
_________________________________
JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
_________________________________
AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
_________________________________
SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
_________________________________
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
_________________________________
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
_________________________________
DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
5:39 PM - *C*

11.3.03
Updated: one new poem.

xburntdreamx (7:37:13 PM): where have you gone?
AlcyoneWaiting (7:39:58 PM): I took a walk around the world.
AlcyoneWaiting (7:40:12 PM): to ease my troubled mind...I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time...
xburntdreamx (7:40:57 PM): did you go crazy like superman?
AlcyoneWaiting (7:41:04 PM): sure did
AlcyoneWaiting (7:41:10 PM): it was fun
xburntdreamx (7:41:19 PM): i bet it was
AlcyoneWaiting (7:41:37 PM): jumping over buildings in a single bound is a whole hell of a lot of fun
AlcyoneWaiting (7:41:42 PM): you should try it sometime
xburntdreamx (7:41:53 PM): i already have
xburntdreamx (7:42:18 PM): it's especially fun when done in a playboy bunny costume.

Heh. Nice to talk to Jinnibits again.
8:11 PM - *C*

11.2.03
Updated: new playlist & changed band list around. Added a CD wishlist to Spotlight.

Show yesterday was pretty cool. First & second bands rocked. Third one was just too Dashboard-ish. Not that I don't like Dashboard. I heart old-school Dashboard. Just have some more originality. The guy even LOOKED just like him. What I learned: 1)I am not made for the mosh pit 2)crowd-surfing rocks 3)I need to smack Lisa 4)Billy's car is small as crap. Yes. I jumped into the mosh pit for two seconds & was knocked out. That's when I realized that a chick my size should not mess with a bunch of bigger guys. But Billy & Ron picked me up & I crowdsurfed for a while. That was awesome. Ron rocks my socks. So does Winter Ferris. Allison must remember to give that CD to me tomorrow.
12:50 PM - *C*

11.1.03
No updates.

I woke up just two hours ago. Stayed up last night until 2 AM. Last night was still pretty fun. The Shaster & I went out last night & Louie pulled up. So we drove to see the Ron & hung out at his apartment for a while. I was able to have some alone time with him. We then drove around some more & Louie picked his sister up from a dance & dropped her home. We were about to go visit Waffle til I was forced to come home. But it was pretty fun. I don't understand how Louie could be so calm & chill when his mother was in labor.

But I'm sitting here sucking on a Pink Lemonade Jolly Rancher pop. Wearing my kittie ring. & listening to Lacuna Coil. They are good. I'm excited about the show tonight. I'll have fun. I better have fun. Hopefully I'm going to mosh & crowdsurf like whoa.
1:31 PM - *C*

Archives
S
© 2003, perfectsonnetx