Solace for Losers
Chess can be a very intense, emotional experience (if it’s not, then why bother playing?) It’s easy to get one’s ego tied to one’s rating, or even to the results of the most recently played game. It feels great to win, but what do you feel like when you lose? I have seen players fling their King across the room in rage. Youngsters are sometimes reduced to tears. Some berate themselves and vow never to play again! Hopefully, the following will help you to cope with losing.
Losing does not make you a "loser".
Personally, when I have lost games due to my own stupidity, I feel like: "What am I doing wasting my time with chess? I’m just no good at it." Then there comes the dread of trying again and making a fool of myself. But, remember: even world champions like Kasparov lose games. It doesn’t mean that they’re bad players. "Bad" is a relative term. No matter how much you improve your rating, unless you achieve world-champion status, there will always be players with a higher rating than you. Does that make you a "bad" player? Of course not!
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything."
The rating system is not an indicator of a person’s worth. It is simply a means whereby players of approximately the same ability can be paired together so as to get the maximum amount of pleasure out of the encounter. Chess is a game, and the purpose of games is fun. A person with a rating of 900 can have just as much fun playing chess as a player with a rating of 2500. (Yes, the 900 player will be unaware of a lot of the deep beauty of the game which is evident to the 2500 player, but when the opportunity to deliver checkmate arises his or her heart will race just as fast or faster than the 2500 player!) However, if you pit these two particular players against each other without a handicap, one will be bored, and the other will likely be terrified. Ideally, you should be paired with someone at your same rating so that you will feel challenged, but not overwhelmed. Theoretically, that means you should not win more than half your games. So, you’d better get used to losing; it’s built right into the system!
"We will all lose many games, so what’s there to be afraid of?"
– International Master Jeremy Silman
"Entrepreneurs average 3.8 failures before final success. What sets the successful ones apart is their amazing persistence."
If you are interested in improving your game, then value your loses. You must lose many games on the road to chess mastery. Treasure your losses! They are invaluable learning tools and will yield many insights upon close examination.
"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."
"Become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid."
You probably have no trouble patting yourself on the back after a win, but you also deserve to be kind to yourself after you lose a game. If nothing else: you tried. You accepted a challenge. You made an effort. You didn’t waste time watching TV; you exercised your brain and engaged in a mental workout with another human being. It was time well spent, no matter what the outcome.
Finally, win or lose, we all need to make an effort to keep the atmosphere friendly. There are several derogatory terms for chess players with low ratings. Although these are not usually meant in a mean spirit, how would you feel to be called a "patzer" or "fish" after losing a game? Don’t be a chess snob: refrain from using these terms, and discourage others from using them. Let everyone enjoy this great game at whatever level they choose.
"Those of you who
think you know it all are very annoying to those of us who do."
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