| This is where the comics......would go! But Bender is in charge of drawing them. Lisa said he'd be finished....never, so until that time comes, as a stopgap here is the SCRIPT I wrote for Bender's exciting ZSB comic! Enjoy this amazing adventure starring maybe YOU! (Though don't press your luck if most people on the ZSB don't know you.) And now it's time for CHAPTER ONE. |
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| BEGINNING SPLASH PANEL: It’s a chilly Monday in Zelda Social Land. Little Jeffy is out kicking a tin can around in the front lot of the convenience mart. Little does he know how much the world means.......business. --- Scene switches to a cop car across the street from the mart. Beefer and Lisa are inside, dressed in police outfits(although Beefer just has the hat). --- Lisa: Boy, I don’t need this today. There’s supposed to be some shady doings going on in that mart today, but I’d rather be at the mall, maximizing Bender’s credit cards that I got from him while seducing him. Beefer: Rragh! Beefer want Squishee! Blagh! --- Lisa: Now, STAY IN HERE. (pulls him back as he stands up to get out of the car) WE’RE ON A STAKEOUT. THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO BE INCONSPICUOUS. --- Beefer: Rrragh! How can they not know it’s police if they see us in this car? Rrruh! Lisa: Um....... --- .... .... --- Okay, this is going to sound stupid, but I never thought of that. --- Panel says, “TEN MINUTES LATER” and has a clock on it --- Now Beefer and Lisa are in the garbage dumpster in the back of the Kwik-E-Mart, with their heads peeking out. Beefer: Rrragh! They never find Beefer here! Lisa: This is disgusting. --- Beefer: BEEFER TIRED OF WAITING! BEEFER CRUSH! BEEFER SMASH HEADS!! RRRRRRRAGGGGHHHH!!!! (Beefer raises his club) Lisa: Ssssh! You may get your wish soon....the back door is opening! --- View is of the door opening, and the back of Lisa’s head. A word baloon comes from the door: “I thank you madam for the generous donations! With these weapons I can surely continue my secret underground arms dealings and pay the Mafia men!” --- View is a close-up of Lisa’s eyes. They’re angry as she sees something. The word baloons say: “Always a pleasure to do business with you.....rrrrrroww!” “Don’t mention it! Now, if you’ll excuse me, Homer is at the counter and he’s asking for my special month-old donuts!” --- Side view of Lisa and Beefer in the dumpster watching the mysterious woman talk to herself after Apu leaves. (note that this whole thing is framed so that you don’t have to spend a half-hour trying to sketch out a Simpsons character, Derek....he’s off-camera.) “That was soooo deliciously evil....” Lisa(growling): RAZOR KITTY..... --- Beefer(loudly): “GRUH?? WHO IS RAZOR KITTY?? BEEFER NO KNOW!!” Lisa is wide-eyed in sudden surprise. --- Razor Kitty is in this spandex black shiny catsuit with razor claws on her fingers. “So....the cops have been watching me? They must not live.” Lisa shouting: THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK! --- Razor Kitty pulls out a huge gun 3 times the size of her like something you might see in “Men in Black.” Razor: Yeah, that’s what I think. --- Beefer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! --- Shot of Razor aiming the gun at our heroes(actually at the readers):”Meow.” --- BLAAAAAAAAM --- |