The Deathwatch caught his eye. It had clients backlogged.
"Sorry - no action today," Zane murmured. "Or for some
time to come."
They arrived at his mansion in the sky, and Zane
dismounted. "I think you'll have a week's good grazing,
Mortis," he said. "You've been a perfect steed, and I
wish you the best."
The gallant stallion nickered appreciation, shook his
body to make the saddle vanish, and headed toward the
pasture. Zane went to the house.
The household staff took care of him as always. Zane
had a good meal, a shower, a change of clothing, and felt
much refreshed. He settled down to watch the news on
television, knowing it would be brimming over with his
latest scandalous behavior. Everything seemed fine,
except for two things: he missed Luna, and he was
apprehensive about his future. He knew he faced no easy time.
It would not take Satan long, if he had not listened in on
the Hot Smoke scene, to realize that Luna had not arrived
in Hell on schedule.
"Good evening, Death," the urbane announcer said
from the screen. "I dislike intruding on your
welldeserved privacy, but there seems to be a misunderstanding."
Zane peered more closely at the face. The man's
complexion was dark with a red tinge, and two small horns
projected from his temples. "Satan!" he exclaimed.
"At your service," the Prince of Evil agreed, inclining
his head politely. "Do you have a moment?"
Zane sighed. Already the dread encounter was upon
him! Satan was affecting politeness, but he would have
his say no matter what Death did. "I refuse to send Luna's
soul to Hell!" Zane said firmly.
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Satan laughed. The sound was mellow and
goodhumored, as if he were enjoying a joke on himself. "To
Hell? My dear associate, she need not come here! I'm
sure she will be welcome in Heaven, after her several
meritorious acts."
What was this? "You don't want her?"
"I want only what is due Me, Death. Luna is a good
woman, regardless of what the record may indicate. I can
personally guarantee she will not come to Hell. I have no
use for her kind here."
"Then why did you slate her for untimely demise?"
Zane snapped.
The Devil's lips quirked. "I must confess there is a bit
of awkwardness coming up. I see no reason to involve
such a lovely and good woman in that matter."
"So you're killing her early!"
"I merely seek the least painful way to alleviate a
difficult situation. I regret that this may cause you
personal distress. Death, but I am quite willing to compensate
you - "
"How can you compensate me for the loss of the woman I love!"
"My dear sir. My organization specializes in compensations!
If it is the delights of the distaff flesh you desire - "
Satan gestured offscreen, and a truly beautiful brunette joined him.
"My dear, show My esteemed colleague your offerings."
The woman smiled dazzlingly and unzipped her blouse.
A phenomenally full and rounded bosom emerged,
untethered by a brassiere.
"She's a succubus!" Zane said, catching on.
"Naturally. I could provide you with your choice of
the human beauties of history, most of whom now reside
in my domain and any of whom would be overjoyed to
delight you eternally. But you would have to come to
Hell, for they can not return to Earth in their original
bodies. I assume you prefer a creature who can cater to
you in life. These highly specialized creatures, the
succubi, can entertain you anywhere."
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Zane was silent, taken aback by the sheer audacity of
the offer. Satan thought he would accept a female demon
in lieu of Luna!
"This one, for example," Satan continued blithely as
the woman-shape continued to strip. "Note her fairness
efface and fullness of feature. You can't match that on
Earth."
Zane found part of his voice. "But - "
"And that's not all," Satan said quickly. The succubus
was stepping out of her skirt. She turned about as Satan
touched her arm, showing her plush buttocks and
thoroughly fleshed thighs to the eager close-up camera.
"But that's not-"
"Ah, but it is," Satan said enthusiastically. "It is eternal.
Living women inevitably change and fatten and age,
but a she-demon's flesh never atrophies. You need have
no concern at all about degradation of form." He slapped
her right flank, and the ripple of flesh proceeded in
measuredstages across the right buttock, through the left, and
down the thighs before reversing like a wave at the edge
of a pool and returning to the point of impact. "Eternal,"
the Evil One repeated softly.
"You don't understand," Zane said, keeping his voice
steady, though his eyes did feel somewhat bugged out.
"I don't want a voluptuous succubus. I want Luna."
"I can provide you the form of Luna," Satan said.
"Form is the least part of a woman." He gestured, and
the demoness misted and re-formed, turning to face the
camera in the exact likeness of Luna. It was eerie, for no
detail differed. The hair was just as brown and flowing,
the eyes just as gray and deep. If Zane didn't know better...
"But her mind - " he said doggedly.
Satan frowned. "There, I confess, is a problem.
Intelligent conversation does require a mind. Most men prefer
their females without minds of their own."
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"All of which is beside the point," Zane said, gaining
confidence. The Prince of Evil couldn't deceive someone
who was alert-he hoped! "I love Luna for herself, not
just her form. She has done some very generous things,
very brave things, and is a wonderful person - and she is
going to stop you from interfering with the world, twenty
years hence. That's why I will not remove her soul from
life." Zane was afraid he was saying too much, but couldn't
help himself.
"A commendable attitude," Satan said mildly. "One
should always promote the welfare of one's situation and
one's friends. That's enlightened self-interest."
Zane was surprised. "You agree?"
"Of course I agree. Death! I am the Deity of Self-interest,
after all. But one does have to be careful how
one defines the term."
"It's not copulating with succubi!" Zane shot back.
"That depends on one's viewpoint. You really should
try it before condemning it. Your girlfriend did."
"That's a lie!" Zane snapped with sudden heat. But he
realized as he reacted that he should not; Satan was cleverly pushing
his buttons, pushing him around emotionally,
getting him off balance. Too much of that, and the Devil
would have him reacting exactly as he wanted. Zane
reminded himself that the Hot Smoke dragoness would not
have started to consume Luna if she had not been
physically virginal. He hardly needed to argue the case with
the Devil.
"Naturally I am the Father of Lies, a title I carry with
pride," Satan responded equably. "Truth is only as each
person sees it; there is no absolute standard of integrity.
That is why I often find it necessary to depend on reason
to convince skeptics of the validity of my case. Pay
attention to My logic, and you will have no need of further
verification."
"Maybe," Zane said shortly, distrusting this.
"You choose to interpret Luna's physical virginity as
the whole of her purity. Are you sure you are not
deceiving yourself thereby?"
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What a silver tongue the Devil had! He was personable
and agreeable, and presented his case in positive terms.
It was hard to resist his charm. Zane had somehow
anticipated a glowering, smoky horror-mask issuing terrible
threats. Yet, he reminded himself, the evil was the same,
regardless of the image it projected.
"I know she was raped by one of your demons," Zane
said. "I know that rape was psychic, not physical. I know
it imposed a heavy load of sin on her soul. But I also
know she did it to try to learn magic to help her father.
On the record she may have much sin, but as a person,
she is good."
"Unquestionably, and very intelligently answered,"
Satan said, as if addressing a precocious student. He
patted the succubus on her bouncy bare bottom, and she
moved offscreen. "There is nothing quite as commendable
as the sacrifice of one's soul, one's own immortal soul,
for the good of another, however that good may be
defined. By that measure, you yourself are a much better
man than your record indicates. Luna is certainly a rare
creature."
"Then why are you hounding her?" Zane demanded,
though this was mostly rhetoric; he knew the answer and
had already charged Satan with it. But he had to say
something to help himself resist the tide of gratitude that
threatened to undermine his cause. Satan had
complimented him, as well as Luna, for a matter that was
fundamental to Zane's self-image. Satan had justified Zane's
treatment of his mother. How much easier it would have
been to fight a ravening monster!
Satan laughed again, sounding like the most pleasant
of companions. "My dear Incarnation, I am not concerned
with good. Evil is My bailiwick! It is My Eternal duty to
define and chastise the evil in man. Surely you agree this
is a necessary chore?"
"Yes, but - "
"There is an enormous amount of evil in the world,"
the urbane figure continued persuasively. "Left to itself,
that evil would soon corrupt the entire society, like milk
going bad. It has to be disciplined; the evildoers have to
be punished, and to know that punishment is inevitable
and in strict accordance with their offenses. In fact, the
entire society has to be advised of the consequence of
evil action. Only that way can man as a species be
improved."
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This was a compelling rationale! "But Luna, you admit,
is not fundamentally evil! Why should she be punished?"
"My dear associate," Satan said with another warm
and tolerant smile, as a benign father might address a
bright but errant child. "We agree she is not evil, and of
course she is not to be punished! She is to be sent directly
to Heaven, where she belongs. Surely you do not object
to that!"
"To Heaven?" Zane asked blankly. "You agree to - ?"
"I only want what is Mine. Luna belongs to God."
Zane scrambled for mental footing. "But it is not her
turn! Why schedule her to die prematurely?" Again he
was pushing Satan to confess the truth; would he do it?
"If one must go early in order that a hundred be fairiy
treated - would you do right by the one and wrong by the
hundred?"
"Well, no, but - "
"Death, I have analyzed the future course of man in
some detail. I comprehend trends that might be
considered too subtle for mortal minds. Not for your mind, of
course; you are a perceptive person. But a detailed
narration would become tedious. In essence, I perceive a
nexus approximately twenty years hence that is crucial
to the fate of the human species. By taking advantage of
that particular situation, I can change the course of human
history. I will be able to purge an enormous amount of
evil with a minimum of disruption. Unfortunately, one
well-intentioned but misguided person obstructs that
opportunity. It grieves Me to deal firmly with that person,
who is perfectly justified in her stand, according to her
more limited comprehension; but the justice of the many
must take precedence over the justice of the one. The
equation may seem cruel in the particular instance, and
unfair in the specific case - but in the larger context, the
values reverse. This is the reality it is My eternal duty to honor."
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And Luna was that one. Were it not for that, Zane
might have found himself persuaded. "Father of Lies, I
don't believe you."
Still Satan took no offense. "You are correct to be
cautious. I like your independent thinking. I am sure a
person of your perspective will come to the appropriate
conclusion."
"I doubt you can convince me to send the woman I
love to Eternity before her time."
Satan shrugged. "Timing can be a matter of
convenience, Death. Do you feel privileged to have had your
own situation cynically manipulated by others, including
the time and manner of your departure from your original
life?"
The Evil One was bearing down harder! "I'm not
really pleased about that," Zane admitted, knowing that
honesty was by far the best course. He could hardly
match Satan's proficiency in lying, even if he wanted
to. Any lie, even a mild self-deception, would play into
Satan's hands. "But I think that, in this circumstance,
it was the necessary - " He paused, realizing the
implication. The welfare of the one, sacrificed for the benefit
of the many! He was playing into the Devil's hands
anyway!
"Circumstance makes puppets of us all," Satan said
sympathetically. "You function excellently in your office;
I can tell you that sincerely, though perhaps God would
not. It has been decades, perhaps centuries, since a Death
has placed conscience above convenience, and the role
is overdue for reinterpretation."
Zane tried to resist his pleasure at this flattery,
mistrusting its source. "I dare say it is bringing me rapidly
closer to you."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Satan laughed, like a jolly Santa Claus.
"Isn't that the irony! The rules are so fixed that those few
who do the right thing must pay for it with their souls!
God would jet green flame if He knew! But frankly. He
is not paying attention."
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Zane was taken aback by this open denigration of God.
But what else should he have expected from God's arch-
enemy? "You say you're getting good souls in Hell?" he
asked, amazed.
"And losing evil ones to Heaven," Satan agreed, slap-
ping his knee. "Gums up the works something awful. But
that's the way of bureaucracy and ossified standards; some
poor souls always slip through the cracks."
This was the Father of Lies, Zane reminded himself.
All or nothing or any ratio between could be falsity.
It was dangerous even talking to Satan, for soon the
boundaries of good and evil became fuzzed by eloquent
misleading.
"I see you remain in doubt," Satan said, leaning for-
ward with apparent sincerity. "That is quite understandable.
Your associates have maneuvered to put you in an
awkward position. You have problems in your office, and
are inhibited by rules that have lost their relevance to the
contemporary scene. Likewise I, in My office. It
behooves us to cooperate where our offices overlap. This
can greatly facilitate our respective duties and benefit us both."
"I see no benefit!"
"Oh, but you have not given yourself the chance to
see it," Satan said smoothly. "Let Me give you a tour of
My demesnes."
"A tour of Hell? I don't - "
"It can be arranged. Death. You have merely to depart
your physical host for a time. You have My personal
assurance that you will return in good order."
"The assurance of the Father of Lies!" Zane cried,
repelled. "Now you are trying to get me into Hell! I refuse
to risk my soul that way!"
"A man who will not risk his soul to save that of the
woman he loves, perhaps does not deserve her love in
return," Satan remarked.
That stung! "I just don't care to risk it on a bad bet. I
don't see that I need to examine your case at all. Not
personally in Hell. What I want is a review of the merits
of the scheduling of Luna's death. If you can arrange for
the review to be soon, I'll welcome that."
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Satan rolled his eyes. "Have you ever tried to hurry a bureaucracy?"
There was that. "Anyway, I think I'll just sit tight right
here until that review." Zane believed he had Satan over
a barrel, for the review would surely expose evidence of
Satan's cheating and free Luna from the sentence.
"I am not certain you comprehend My problem," Satan
said. "Hell is geared for a large turnover. Thousands of
souls enter each hour for processing. You have abruptly
stopped the flow. That gives My initiation cadre no work
to do."
"The respite should be good for them," Zane said,
smiling unsympathetically. "They can sharpen their pitch-
forks, or whatever."
"On the contrary! Those little devils must be kept
occupied constantly. Who in Hell finds work for idle devils
to do?"
Zane visualized idle devils rampaging in Hell, overturning
racks and littering torture chambers. That would
certainly be a problem!
"Consider this," Satan said. The television picture
changed to the news report of an accident. An airplane
had experienced heavy weather in a cold northern region
and crashed in an isolated spot. Fifty passengers were
trapped inside. "These people are freezing to death," Satan
said. "There is no hope of rescue, yet none of them
can die while Death remains on strike." The camera panned
on the wreckage, then showed an interior view, where
several passengers had critical injuries and others were
in dire straits. This was a no-survivors type of crash.
"Do you really intend to let these victims suffer
indefinitely, rather than free their souls for Eternity?" Satan
asked soberly. "Most of this batch is slated for Heaven,
so there is nothing to be gained by delay except undeserved misery."
Zane had not considered that aspect. Had he been
deliberately avoiding the obvious? Of course there would
be horrendous suffering! Death was no burden to a
terminally injured person; it was relief. He was the first
person to defend the right of anyone to die on schedule.
He had, technically, committed murder in the defense of
that right. Now he was responsible for a worse denial
than that performed by any hospital. Satan had struck at
another vulnerability, with the acute perception of his evil
nature. It was not one person suffering now; it was a
multitude!
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Yet how many people would suffer eternally if Satan
had his way? If one person - Luna - could be sacrificed
to help fifty in a plane wreck, why couldn't fifty be
sacrificed to help the entire world? Satan was putting
pressure on him, and he had to withstand it. He had known
it would not be easy, but had underestimated the cunning
ingenuity of the argument.
"I deeply regret the suffering of these people," Zane
said. "But it is your will, not mine, that precipitates it.
The sooner my petition is considered and Luna is freed
from her unfair sentence of early death, the better."
"I believe the date of the hearing could be moved up,"
Satan said, as if it were an incidental matter. "Come
consider My case, and I will see that yours is considered."
So the Devil did have power to affect that matter - or
so he was letting it be implied. "You are proffering a deal?"
"I specialize in deals."
"How can I trust you to honor any part of any deal
you make?"
"A deal not signed in blood is not worth the blood it's
signed with," Satan said, grinning affably.
"I refuse to sign in blood!"
"Nor are you required to. That was merely a medieval
custom; the client's blood gave Me the magic power to
enforce the contract. Today fingerprints or retina-prints
do just as well. But no contract of any nature can bind
an Incarnation, so that's irrelevant." Satan leaned forward,
his handsome face radiating sincerity. "Merely appreciate the
background rationale. Death. It is to My interest to persuade
you to end your strike. It is to your interest to guarantee the
welfare of your girlfriend. It is thus to our mutual interest to
establish communication and complete understanding. Cheating does not facilitate this."
page 273
"If I go to Hell and do not return, there will be a new
person to assume the office of Death. That one, I am sure,
will be more amenable to your guidance."
Satan smiled in wry agreement. "You are quick to
appreciate reality. But all you have to do is consult with
Fate, who arranges the details of transitions. No one else
can do it. She will not, I suspect, deceive you on this
matter. If you have her assurance that your transition will
not be made at this time - "
Zane wasn't sure about that, but thought it worth
investigating. "If I visit Hell, listen to your spiel, and then
turn it down, will you free Luna from her sentence?"
"Of course not!" Satan said indignantly. "I will merely
seek some other avenue to achieve My objective."
"Then what is the point of my tour?"
"You might be persuaded. Then you could reap great
reward and be eternally happy."
"I can't be eternally happy unless I die," Zane pointed
out.
"By no meahs. Death. Your present office is eternal."
"Until I leave it."
Satan's smile became slightly strained. "How may I
reassure you, then?"
"Free Luna."
"You are being unreasonable."
"By your definition. If that concludes our business - "
A faint halo of smoke formed about Satan's face, but
he hung on to his smile. "Suppose we compromise.
Compromise is an excellent route to Hell. If your tour of Hell
does not convince you - "
"You will free Luna," Zane finished firmly.
Satan sighed. "I could have wished for a more
responsive officeholder. But - I will free Luna."
Was Satan lying? Probably-but Zane was just
uncertain enough of his own position and power to try it. If
Satan reneged, he would be proved to have bargained in
bad faith, and Zane would have no further doubts.
Meanwhile, Death still would not take Luna. He really had
nothing to lose, as long as he remained in the office.
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