A lovely
lady named Sue,
Who is
my very dear sister too.
Because
of her Arthur
Is hurting
like Martha
And doesn’t
know quite what to do.
I know
what to do I think,
So before
you go over the brink.
Do something
quite risky,
Get a
case of Scotch whisky,
And drown
all your sorrows in drink.
Now if
this doesn’t ease all your pain,
And I
want to make this quite plain,
Don’t
be a loser,
Or a
whisky abuser,
Just
fill up and get stuck in again.
Now if
this doesn’t quite do the trick,
And the
blame on me you stick,
I’m telling
you now,
You silly
old cow,
I’ll
be outta he so bloody quick.
And if
the scotch only makes you barf,
Then
water it down by half,
And if
it makes you pee,
Don’t
come running to me,
Cause
All I will do is laugh.
But I
know you’re suffering dear,
And I
hope this ditty will cheer,
But never
forget,
There
is still hope yet,
Give
the whisky away, switch to beer.
Now I
want you to listen again,
To what
I have really been sayin’
It’s
better by half,
To have
a good belly laugh,
And forget,
if you can, all that pain.
Now I
AM NOT YOUR MOTHER,
But definitely
someone other,
And if
you can’t quite guess,
Who concocted
this mess,
'Twas
your loving old fart of a brother.
I love
you Sue.
Copyright
© Rod Coleman – Chester Hill - 2002
