An Aussie Christmas Tale

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and in our Aussie house,
The computer was roaring, and so was the mouse;

The salad was made and stored in the fridge,
The Ice Cream was chilling, it was! ridgie didge.

The cards were all sent, and the presents all wrapped,
All was prepared, doesn’t it make you feel trapped?

The tree was lit up, and although very small,
You could see it in its glory, from way down the hall.

The presents looked great sitting under the tree,
A new mower for Mum and a sewing kit for me.

She did the shopping, for that is our way,
She gets the stuff and I have to pay.

The kids were away, the girl overseas,
The son at his girlfriend’s, as usual, if you please.

The dog’s on the floor, resting at Mum’s feet, 
All curled up and panting, it’s too hot to sleep,

I was in my chat room having a natter,
When out in the yard, I heard a terrible clatter.

I raced out the back to see what it could be,
And if I now told you, you wouldn’t believe me.

OK it was Santa, in red undies you see,
With eight mangy reindeer, tied up to a tree.

He looked so very hot, as he sat in his sleigh,
That I gave him a beer to help him on his way.

He hadn’t much left in the sack on his back, 
and his sense of direction was way out of whack.

And what of poor Rudolph, what do you think?
He was so flaming hot, with his nose only pink.

I gave him my compass, I thought it was best, 
For poor old half naked Santa was headed out west.

He downed one more beer and hopped back on his sleigh, 
And cracked the old whip as he headed away.

I was headed inside when I happened to see, 
A bright shining star, or it sure seemed to be.

And it made me remember, I wanted to shout,
It made me remember, just what Christmas is about.

I think it's about time that we all went to church,
Time that we stopped leaving Jesus in the lurch.

For it’s really His birthday that we celebrate, 
And if it wasn’t for Him, there’d be no Christmas, mate.

And my wish for this Christmas, as I head up the hall 
is, May God give you his blessing, and GOODNIGHT TO YOU ALL.