The Official Lantern Jaw Webpage

Real Ultimate Power

Hi, this site is all about Lantern Jaw, REAL LANTERN JAW.  This site is awesome.    My name is verpetas and I can't stop thinking about Lantern Jaw.  This affliction is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet. It likes to strike European royalty. REAL EUROPEAN ROYALTY!

Facts:

1.    Lantern Jaw affects mammals.

2.    Lantern Jaw is also called Class III occlusion ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of lantern jaw is to flip out and make it hard for you to chew your food properly.

Weapons and gear:

Braces                   headgear   

Hypertrophy

Testimonial:

Lantern jaw can strike any member of the Habsburg family it wants!  Lantern jaw makes incisors stick out ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it.  This affliction is so crazy and awesome that it flips out ALL the time.  I heard that a guy with lantern jaw was trying to eat at a diner.  And when some dude dropped a spoon, The guy with lantern jaw shoved a retainer in the mouths of everyone in town.  My friend Ash said that he saw lantern jaw develop in some kid just because the kid opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that Lantern Jaw has REAL Ultimate Power you better see an orthodontist!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  

Lantern Jaw is sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it in my teeth.  This affliction is totally jawsome and that's a fact.  Lantern Jaw is annoying, difficult, correctable, toothy, part of your jaw, and sweet.  I can't wait to get my wisdom teeth next year.  I love Lantern jaw with all of my body (except my pee pee... It's already spoken for).    

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Lantern Jaw?

A: Lantern Jaw is the ultimate paradox. On the one hand it makes it hard for you to eat carrots, but on the other hand, Lantern Jaw makes you grind your teeth at night.

Q: I heard that Lantern jaw is always flipping out and making your jawbone grow too much.  What's its problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other orthodontal defects, lantern jaw can result from an overgrowth of the clavicle OR an undergrowth of the upper jaw. 

Q: What does lantern jaw do when it's not ruining royal bloodlines or making kids wear headgear?

A: Most of its free time is spent impacting bicuspids, but sometimes it shows up as a handy adaptation in grazing mammals.  (Ask Ash if you don't believe me.)

This is a picture of my best friend Ash showing off.

He's a lot older than me and he killed a lot of Deadites, which is bragable