The Official Douche Webpage

Real Ultimate Power

Hi, this site is all about douches, REAL DOUCHES.  This site is awesome.    My name is verpetas and I can't stop thinking about douches.  These intimate cleansing devices are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:

1.    Douches are used by mammals.

2.    Douches clean vaginas ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the douche is to flip out and make a girl's naughty bits smell better.

Weapons and gear:

Vinegar                   Water   

Douche Bag

Testimonial:

Douches can squirt any woman they want!  Douches wash out vaginas ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These intimate cleansing products are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time.  I heard that there was this douche who was lying on a table at a diner.  And when some dude dropped a spoon the douche washed the vagina of the whole town.  My friend Vladimir said that he saw a douche totally squirt some kid just because the kid opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that douches have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will squirt actinic water all over you!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  

Douches are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These feminine hygiene products are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Douches are fast, wet, cool, gentle, aromatic, and sweet.  I can't wait to start banging clean chicks next year.  I love douches with all of my body (except my pee pee... that still belongs to Odin and a little to Deus).    

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about douches?

A: Douches are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they aren't really necessary, but on the other hand, douches take away that "not so fresh" feeling.

Q: I heard that douches are always spring fresh or ocean breezy.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other intimate cleansers for mammals, douchess can be like a summer's breeze OR like a walk in a fresh rain. 

Q: What do douches do when they're not cleaning vaginas or providing colonic irrigation?

A: Most of their free time is spent stiing in the bathroom cupboard, but sometimes they keep your feet warm at night.  (Ask Vladimir if you don't believe me.)

This is a picture of my best friend Vladimir showing off.

He's a lot older than me and the father of Soviet communism,

which is bragable.