Blondes at it again-

 A blonde is walking down the street with her

> > >blouse open and her right breast hanging out.

> > >A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am,

> > >are you aware that I could cite you for indecent

> > >exposure?"

> > >She says, "Why, officer?"

> > >"Because your breast is hanging out."

> > >She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left

> > >the baby on the bus again!"

> > >____________________________

> > >OVERWEIGHT BLONDE

> > >A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her

> > >on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two

> > days,

> > >then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for

> two

> > weeks.

> > >The next time I see you, you'll have lost at

> least

> > five pounds."

> > >When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20

> > pounds.

> > >"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did

> > >you follow my instructions?"

> > >The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I

> > >thought I was going to drop

> > >dead that third day." "From hunger, you

> > >mean?" asked the doctor.

> > >"No, from all that skipping."

> > >______________________

> > >RIVER WALK

> > >There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes

> > >to a river and sees another blonde on the

> opposite

> > bank.

> > >"Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the

> > >other side?"

> > >The second blonde looks up the river then down

> > >the river then shouts back, "You are on the

> other

> > side."

> > >___________________

> > >KNITTING

> > >A highway patrolman pulled alongside a

> > >speeding car on the freeway.

> > >Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see

> > >that the blonde behind

> > >the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was

> > >oblivious to his flashing

> > >lights and siren, the trooper cranked

> > >down his window, turned on his bullhorn

> > >and yelled, "PULLOVER!"

> > >"NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

> > >_______________

> > >BLONDE ON THE SUN

> > >A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were

> > >talking one day.

> > >The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

> > >The American said, "We were the first on the

> > moon!"

> > >The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be

> > >the first on the sun!"

> > >The Russian and the American looked at each

> > >other and shook their heads.

> > >"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll

> > >burn up!" said the Russian.

> > >To which the Blonde replied, "We're not

> > >stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

> > >_______________

> > >SPEEDING TICKET

> > >A police officer stops a blonde for speeding

> > >and asks her very nicely if he could see her

> > license.

> > >She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would

> > >get your act together.

> > >Just yesterday you take away my license and

> > >then today you expect me to

> > >show it to you!"

> > >___________

> > >THE VACUUM

> > >A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one

> > >night. It was her turn. She rolled

> > >the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."

> > >Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and

> > >someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

> > >She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it

> > >on or off?"

> > >_________________

> > >FINAL EXAM

> > >The blonde reported for her university final

> > >examination that consists of "yes/no" type

> > questions. She takes her

> > >seat in the examination hall, stares at the

> > question paper for five

> > >minutes,

> > >and

> > >then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse

> out,

> > removes a coin and

> > starts

> > >tossing the coin and marking

> > >the answer sheet "Yes" for Heads and "No" for

> > Tails.

> > >Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the

> > rest of the class is

> > >sweating it out. During the last few minutes,

> > >she is seen desperately throwing the coin,

> > muttering and sweating. The

> > >moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what

> > is going on. "I

> > >finished the exam in half an hour, but I'm

> > rechecking my answers."

> > >_____________________

> > >THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

> > >There was a blonde woman who was having

> > >financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a

> > child and demand a

> > >ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed

> > >a little boy, took him behind a tree

> > >and wrote this note.

> > >"I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in

> > >a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in

> the

> > park

> > >tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde"

> > >She pinned the note inside the little boy's

> > >jacket and told him to go straight home.

> > >The next morning, she returned to the park to

> find

> > the

> > >$10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big oak

> > >tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag

> > was the following

> > >note... "Here is your money.

> > >I cannot believe that one blonde would do this

> to

> > another!"

> > >___________________

> > >NOT BLONDE, but . . .

> > >When NASA first started sending up astronauts,

> > >they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens

> would

> > not work in

> > >zero gravity. To combat the problem,

> > >NASA scientists spent a decade and $12

> > >Billion to develop a pen that writes

> > >in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on

> > >almost any surface including

> > >glass and at temperatures ranging from below

> > >freezing to 300C. The Russians used a pencil.

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