Gossip
What is it? How YOU can avoid it (and stop it)!
**psthurismos -- whisper, hiss, secret, gossip, talebearing **
© 2001 by Natalie Pappas

Gossip is a big problem in the world today, not to mention the church. The Bible has a lot to say about gossip. Here's a simple definition that is easily remembered. Gossip is a story that is true that can damage a person's reputation. Unfortunately most people confuse gossip with slander. They believe since the story is TRUE, that EVERYBODY (and I mean everybody) has THE right to know! So one lady gets on the phone and calls all her close friends in the church who turn anound and call more people who end up calling OTHER people and then much damage is accomplished.

You know in the book of Jeremiah where it says, "My people are destroyed by a lack of knowledge"? Well, the hard truth is we are destroying our brothers and sisters in Christ when we don't understand that gossip is a story that is true that can damage a person's reputation.

There are some reading this article who may point out that I have a redundancy problem. I am doing this on purpose. I want people who finish reading this article to really understand that gossip is a story that is true that can damage a person's repuation. (Oops I did it again!)

The Bible says that:

  • Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends
  • Proverbs 26:20 Wood without a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.
  • Proverbs 18:8 and 26:22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they do down to a man's inmost parts.
  • Proverbs 20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

Preventing People From Gossiping About You

How do you prevent people from gossiping about you? The first and most important thing to remember is not to tell anybody anything that you wouldn't want the entire church to know about your private life -- that includes openly confessing any sin you're struggling with by the way! Yet the Bible tells us to confess our sins to one another, right? Look for those people who don't seem to have a lot to say. Seek out people who have never served choice bits of gossip to you. These are the people you can confide your struggles with. These types of people will be faithful to pray for you and not tell anyone what you're dealing with.

Preventing People From Telling You Gossip

You've just hung up the phone. A person has just handed to you a choice morsel of gossip. You didn't know what to do so you did nothing. That's okay, you can always call the person back, or better yet, speak with them face to face. It's not a bad thing to think out how to hande things properly. It's actually more Biblical because the Bible advises us not to speak rashly. Nonetheless, you're upset because you didn't ask to be served. Yet, there it is, an ugly lump of dung, sitting on a dainty plate disguised as a 'prayer request for so-and-so'". How do you refuse? Remember this: just because it was served doesn't mean you are obligated to eat it!

Step One

First ask, "Where did you hear that from?" When they answer, ask, "Where did THAT person hear that from?" What I'm advising you to do is to find out as much as you can about who is talking to each other. Eventually the gossip will begin appearing uncomfortable. That's okay. You want this person to begin to feel badly about what they've done. When you've gotten all the names...

Step Two

Explain to that gossip that a story that is true can damage a person's reputation. Outline your plan to talk personally to everyone just named so that they also understand that gossip is a story that is true that can damage a person's reputation. And then do it. How? Name names: "So and so passed on to me what you said about a certain situation concerning so and so." Don't describe the situation, just say "a certain situation"....they will know what you are talking about--after all, they contributed to your knowledge of it.

Step three

Share some Bible verses about gossip with all involved. Make certain that everyone understands that there is a Biblical way to deal with people who have fallen into sin, but that gossip is not one of those options.

  • 2nd Corinthians 12:20 (Paul the Apostle is writing) "For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder"
  • Romans 1:29 (Paul the Apostle is explaining all traits of the depravity of man and includes the sin of gossip)
  • 1 Timothy 5:13 (Paul the Apostle is writing to young Timothy giving advice for the reason NOT to put younger widows on a 'take care of' list) "Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to."

If you follow the Biblical advice given in this article, I guarantee that next time gossip is making its ugly rounds, nobody who has tried to share gossip with you in the past will call YOU up and try to share again. I've discovered there is a wonderful peace walking around in ignorant bliss!

Yet, I'm sure, somewhere, there are walking wounded in your church, those unfortunate victims of gossip. How can you minister to that person or persons without making things worse? First pray for wisdom, God will lead you to know how to gently minister to that person's shame of everyone knowing their private business.

I'd like to make one more point....have you ever noticed that gossips never gossip about their own sins, but always about someone else's sins? Remember, Gossip is a story that is true that can damage a person's repuation The Bible tells us how to deal with those who have fallen into sin. We are to gently restore them. We are to forgive them. We are to love them. And if they refuse to repent, we are eventually to shun them. But nowhere in Scripture, not ONE place, does the Bible ever give us council to gossip. Not ever! This ought to be a strict warning to us never to engage in it.

Here's a good rule of thumb to follow. If you are too embarrassed to ask the person you heard something about if it is true, it is either gossip or slander (slander is a story that is NOT true which WILL damage a person's reputation -- but that's another article). The bottom line is this: If you can't talk about the incident with the person involved in the incident, then you have absolutely no business talking about it with others either.

Did anyone else notice that the Greek word meaning gossip found at the beginning of the article starts with three tiny letters which make the sound, pst...?

** Page 892, A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Tstament and other Early Christian literature **





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