This interview is called Ten Ways To Make Me Love You by Herman. It’s a bit naff, really, some bits are actually totally cringeworthy (you’ll know which bits they are cos without realising it, you’ll say something like “Ah, give us a break!” and will shudder uncontrollably!!), but some things in it are lovely and makes you want to give him a big cuddle! It’s also made me realise that Peter would never love me. Which I don’t mind cos he’s in my Heroes group and not my Harem group of 60s blokes!
DON'T ever scream and don't ever point. And whatever you do, please, please, pretty please don't giggle. I know that when girls become excited - or carried away by something - it is easy for them to do these things, but if you want me to love you DON'T! really don't dig them - so stay cool.
But I can’t help giggling! I find everything funny! I’m a hopeless giggler, when I get started laughing, I can’t stop for HOURS! I’m sorry, it’s just ME! I’m not cool! And I have to scream, it gets rid of all the pent-up tension. And if we don’t point then how are people supposed to know what we’re talking about?!
BE a raver. That means keep everything "upbeat," in-stead of "downbeat." It means learn how to enjoy yourself and have a good time-and have it with me!
No problem THERE! I think only one of my closest friends has ever seen me at a party, and he’ll tell you what a party animal I am! Once the music starts, I’m on the dancefloor till it stops, and I have even learned to dance with a glass of brandy and ginger in one hand without spilling a drop! At weddings and engagement parties and stuff I don’t even bother eating if there’s drink and a dancefloor!
DON'T be a fashion copy-cat. Dress in your own particular way in the clothes that are best for you.! love daffy, original clothes. The best clothes I've ever seen chicks wear were things they made themselves. I'll dig you if you dig making outasite, one-of-a-kind outfits that really suit you.
Can’t make clothes. Hmph. Ah well, I’ll learn! (“Daffy”?!)
BE natural - be yourself. I know it's been said a thousand times, but it can't be said too often-because it's important (important to you and important to me!). Be natural in the way you act and be natural in the way you look-an honest laugh and long hair blowing in the wind.
*Stands in a draught while listening to Monty Python* Oh, HONEST laugh? Sorry, I’ve just got a filthy laugh!
BE absolutely mad about travel, cos when I find you-and I've been looking for you for a long time -I'm not going to let you out of my sight. And since I have to travel a great deal, that means you will have to travel with me!
Do you know… AWW BLESS HIM!
LAUGH - and laugh often. Have a sense of humour. I can't stand "sour-pusses." There are so many funny things happening around us all the time that it's a shame not to pick up on them and enjoy them. So cultivate your funny-bone.
Trust me, my funny-bone doesn’t need cultivating any more, I’m the dizziest person I know…
DON'T be possessive! couldn't love a girl who hung on to me or wanted to know where I was all the time. And that's true of every guy I know.
Possessive? Moi? Why should I care where you are at all times of the night with God-Knows-Who and what you’re doing with them?!!?!?! Fancy staying in with me?! And anyway, the nicest thing on earth is for a girl to hold her boyfriend’s hand while walking down the road. If that’s classed as hanging on, then you need to become more tactile!
DO be trusting, however. Trust me in every way. Know that I will never lie to you or hurt you, so never doubt me. Trust is the foundation of love - without it you're just not with it.
I’m with it, man! Outasite! And I think this is another … AWW BLESS HIM! moment!
LOVE children. I am completely gaga about children. I want to have a large family of my own, and I'd love for my wife to want that too.
I love children. I do! I just… couldn’t eat a whole one and would like to know that I’ve got someone to give them back to when they start crying…
BE a family person. Be devoted to "togetherness". As you know, I'm close to my own family-and I would like to be close to yours. I would like the family we create together to be the closest, wamrest, loving-est of all.
The most AWW BLESS HIM! thing he’s ever said! Bless him!
Okay, back of the queue, people… Oh, hang on, was that Keith Hopwood I saw walking past? Okay, my place in the queue is vacated…