|
|
Healthy self-esteem is the very foundation of well-being and is essential
to your ability to function in a healthy, happy way. Simply put, it is
liking and being comfortable with yourself. Feeling good about yourself
is based on how you see your abilities and your worth as a person. High
self-esteem brings the high level of confidence, problem-solving abilities,
and the assertiveness needed to fulfill the potential to be all that you
can be.
What is Low Self-Esteem?
Low self-esteem means you feel, think, and believe negatively towards
yourself. You do not feel good about who you are. You do not like or love
yourself. Low self-esteem or feeling unworthy of life's joys corrodes
all aspects of your life from your career to family bonds to your love
life. Most importantly, it corrodes your internal sense of well-being.
The International Council for Self-Esteem notes many studies which indicate
that anxiety disorders, depression, and suicide are strongly associated
with low self-esteem as are eating disorders, low academic achievement,
bullying, substance abuse, abusive relationships, and interpersonal problems.
The Good News
The good news is that self-esteem, whether healthy or low, is not permanent.
It is not something you are given or born with. It is within your control.
High self-esteem must be maintained while low self-esteem can be improved.
Self-Esteem Assement Take a moment and answer the following questions
for a self-assessment.
1. Do you think you are a good person?
2. Do you love who you see when you look in the mirror?
3. Do you give yourself compliments often?
4. When you are in stressful or angry situations, do you stay true to
yourself and what you want?
5. Do you reward yourself on a regular basis?
6. Do you have a clear plan for what you want out of life?
7. Are you able to talk about your good points, skills, abilities, achievements,
and successes with others?
8. Are you content with who you are, how you act, and what you do in life?
9. Are you not bothered by feelings of insecurity and anxiety when you
meet people for the first time?
10. Is your life balanced between work, family life, social life, recreation/leisure,
and spiritual life?
11. Do you feel you are able to perform the tasks necessary to ensure
ongoing healthy self-esteem?
12. Are you satisfied with your level of achievement at school, home,
work, and in the community?
13. Do you trust yourself and your ability to solve problems?
If you said no to three or more of the preceding questions, you may benefit
from working to increase your self-esteem.
You can Boost Your Self-Esteem
You may carry self-doubts that limit your potential. Perhaps you doubt
how capable you are at performing a new job, if your friends and family
will continue to like and love you, or if you are smart enough to finish
that university program. You are capable of stripping away the negative
thoughts in your mind and replacing them with positive ones. And when
you do, you can start working on the most important relationship you'll
ever have: the relationship with yourself.
A strong sense of self-worth can create a type of self-fulfilling prophecy:
the more you like yourself, the more you begin to act in likable ways;
the more you believe you are able to achieve something; the more likely
it is that you will.
Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are statements we say to ourselves over and over
again. These affirmations create positive thinking, which helps lead to
healthy self-esteem. Make a list of positive affirmations and read it
aloud two to three times daily while looking at yourself in the mirror.
Use the present tense such as "I am a happy, positive person" and use
positive terms such as "I eat only what my body needs."
Some examples are:
Every day in every way I'm getting better, better and better.
Everything is coming to me easily and effortlessly.
Everything I need is already within me.
I love and appreciate myself just as I am.
I accept all my feelings as part of myself.
I love my work, and am richly rewarded creatively and financially.
I communicate clearly and effectively.
I have enough time, energy, wisdom and money to accomplish all my desires.
It's okay for me to have everything I want.
Being Aware of Your Thoughts
Write
down negative thought for one week. At the end of the week, take the list
and write one positive thought next to each negative one to contradict
it. Keep this list handy and refer to it throughout the day or whenever
you have a negative thought. Challenge yourself to replace your negative
thoughts with positive ones.
Grateful Journal
When
we are consciously grateful for things in our lives, we live in the moment
and gain greater appreciate for what we have. A grateful journal is an
ongoing list of the things in your life you are grateful for. Take 15
minutes at the end of every day to add to your list.
More Boosters...
Accept
who you are - your strengths and your weaknesses, your feelings and emotions.
Recognize that everyone makes mistakes. When you make a mistake, do not
put yourself down. Try to learn from your mistakes.
Take alone time, regularly, to read, play, garden, write - to nurture
yourself. Develop your talents and abilities.
Trust your thoughts and intuitions. Do what makes you feel happy and fulfilled.
Take pride in your achievements, big and small.
Set realistic goals for yourself.
Exercise, eat right, and get plenty of sleep.
Surround yourself with positive, healthy people.
Spend time with people who make you feel good.
Get involved and volunteer in the community.
Seek counseling or self-help/support groups.
Make conscious, healthy choices. Make choices that leave you better rather
than worse off. Make choices that are in tune with your beliefs, values,
and actions.
Accept compliments with a "thank you" that point out your strengths and
abilities.
Be realistic about what you can do. Trying to be perfect and comparing
yourself with other people can damage your self-esteem.
Be honest with yourself.
Respect people's differences. Recognize their strengths and accomplishments.
Support and encourage other people's efforts to learn new things.
Do things that make you feel worthwhile.
Building healthy self-esteem takes time and commitment. You have spent
years filling your mind with negative thoughts. Positive thinking is not
just a philosophy; it is a practice - something you have to do everyday,
over and over again.
Being happy, feeling good about yourself, and enjoying life is a conscious
choice you must make. The power to feel love, worthy, fulfilled, and confident
is all within yourself.
|
