| Why is a dead snake in the road more tragic than a dead trombonist in the road? 1. The snake may have been on the way to a recording session. 2. There are skid marks in front of the snake. What do you call a guy who knows how to play a trombone and doesn't? A gentleman. What do 4 trombones sound like at the bottom of the sea? A good idea! How do you know if there is a trombonist at your door? The doorbell drags. How many trombone players does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he will spend half an hour trying to figure out what position he needs to be in. What kind of calendar does a trombonist use for his gigs? Year-at-a-Glance What is the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw? 1. Vibrato. 2. It's easier to improvise on a chain saw. What do you call a trombonist with a beeper? An optimist. What is the dynamic range of a bass trombone? On or off. What is the best kind of trombone? A broken one! How do you save a trombonist from drowning? Take your foot off their head. How many trombones does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he will do it too loudly. What is the least used sentence in the English language? "Look at that trombone player's Cadillac!" What is the difference between a frog driving a car and a trombonist driving a car? The frog may be on his way to a gig. What does the trombonist say when he gets to his gig? "You want fries with that?" Why is it no fun to go to playgrounds with trombone players? Because they can’t slide and they can't swing. |
| Trombone Jokes |
| How do you make a trombone sound like a French Horn? Stick your hand in the bell and play all wrong notes. |
| Ten Reasons To Play The Trombone 10. It doubles the flow of testosterone 9. Chicks dig the big cases 8. It's shiny!!! 7. Works as a lightning rod 6. Tastes like chicken 5. You might meet Chris Hyden! 4. Scares away the neighbor's cat 3. Outblows any woodwind 2. No batteries necessary 1. It's the only instrument that doesn't suck |
| A missionary, on a very important trip in the depths of the jungles of the Congo, comes upon a lost civilization, which strangely has a deep connection with music. In fact, everywhere he went, he heard in the distance the constant beat of drums. He decides to try and convert these people, but the first thing he had to do was learn their language. After almost three years, he finally deciphers the language. He approches the chief, and the very first thing that the missionary asks is,"Great Chief, everywhere I go here I hear drum beats. Why do you constantly play the drums?" The Great Chief respondes,"IF DRUMS STOP, TERRIBLE DISASTER WILL OCCUR." The missionary, somewhat puzzeled, asks,"Do you think that there will be a flood, earthquake, disease, famine, what?" The Chief shakes his head sadly and says,"EVEN WORSE. IF THE DRUMS EVER STOP, BIG TROMBONE SOLO!!!" |
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