Testimonials People from all over the world have travelled to darkest England to benefit from the treatments and remedies that New Head provide. Why travel to Poland or Bulgaria when you can get much cheaper mutilations in limey land? Its refreshing to take the air in this green and pleasant land prior to life changing surgery and its side effects. New Head receives many a thrilling and loving testimonial to prove that, without a doubt, our procedures are indeed second to none. You too could benefit. What on earth are you waiting for?
My life is now complete thanks to a dose of radioactive plasma injection bolts that have given me a molecular mad maladjustment of ghastly proportions. No-one is gonna ignore me on the street again. Thank you, New Head. F. Wobblebotham, England
Life has been a bowl of cherries since those people from New Head gave me the once over. Not even my own mother would recognise me, even though I wear her very own leatherface constantly. It's great having your relations on board to share those perfect little moments, and i'm grateful for New Head for giving me the ultimate opportunity to see life thru rose tinted eyeslits. Yours sincerely, a very grateful mutationette. A. Swanson (Mrs), Florida.
I must write and congratulate your team on the successful enhancement performed upon my personality. Whatever evil is hiding in this extra brain hemisphere has quite a disturbing influence on my social life. Now, every night, I ignore the TV. Now, every night, I stalk, I kill. D. Rosebud, California
Thanks very much you crazy New Head people, i'm delighted with my set of spider eyes. I used to be all-ears, but this is by far a more interesting enhancement. At least it will be, once I get over the violent shock of the thing. And the nightmares, they seem so real. D. Armstrong, Vienna
You may remember me as light-fingered Farquarson, slayer of the South-East, and now, thanks to a new identity and profile, a sailor in the snow slung siberian sahara. No one will find me here, and it's all down to you, New Head. Pretty soon, my former personality will be brutalised from my system, and I can go AWOL to spend some of this hard earned stolen cash. Do-svedaneya, comrade New Head. Y. Vladvinski, Murmansk
I want to complain about your devastating surgery, what the hell have you done to me??? I only came in for a quick manicure, and woke up, 3 months later, imprisoned within the carcass of a bug eyed shrunken skin lizard. And whats this about the small print? I surely did not sign over my life to New Head. Your threats of abduction and mutilation of complainees do nothing to scare me. Hold on, theres a knock at the door... Bill Gates, Seattle
Dear New Head, I had a wonderful stay at your dungeons, in spite of the surgical disasters inflicted upon me. I really enjoyed my burial and sermon. Here I lay, reunited with the wife at last, waiting for that day when you implant our spirits into fresh victims, and we can terrorise the earth again. Please let it be soon. Mildreds coffin has mildew, and its so cold down here. S. Creep (deceased), Bulgaria
What - have - you - done? Somebody - please - help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. Help - me. J. Smith, England
So much for the Frank Sinatra cloned head, I awake to find myself the subject of a rather ill fitting denture job, with a thirst for blood to match. Oh well, things could be worse, I suppose. Thanks all the same, New Head. M. Death, New England
Bibble bobble bing bong bib bibby bib. Pwebbbbbbbbbbb. Fred Nutzy, Arizona
Oh well, so much for that. Just because of an accidental slip of the scalpel we have to endure all this flak and lawsuits. Nevertheless, we at the NEW HEAD team recommend that your sign up for some immediate surgery. Dont worry. You'll be in safe and sadistic hands: The NEW HEAD Foundation HOME