whataregooddominants

                                   What are good Master and Mistresses?



Both submissives and Dominants alike can only answer that question individually. The Dominants should be in control of Themselves first and foremost. They are confident, caring, and understanding. They do not allow ego to get in the way of learning about Themselves and Their submissive. They know how to love and to cherish the gift given to Them.

        When the Dominants meet a new submissive they are kind and guiding without demanding ritual of her. They do not demand respect, They earn it. They explore her mind first, learning her strengths. They do not seek to seduce her, but get to know her as a person first. building a relationship, slowly discovering if there will be one.
     If They are good Dominants They do not do this simply to gain another submissive, but only because They are able to befriend someone without the trappings of sexuality. They are not predators, but Teachers, willing to pass Their knowledge with little or no reward but the pleasure of knowing They can and the satisfaction of helping someone define their own path.
     If the time comes when she offers herself to Their service, the Dominant is the first to question her decision, to ask her to look into herself and discover if They are what she really wants. They are the first to mention safety, to volunteer references, and to tell her to seek more. They support safe calls and public meetings first, her safety foremost in Their minds.
     If They decide to take the submissive into service, They are the first to mention negoiation, to offer Their own personal information. They realize the danger she could be placed in through the wrong hands.,They seek to guide her in protecting herself, andThey do not dismiss her worries. They know her risks are all to real. The Dominants know that Their own safety depends on honesty and cummunication. They are honest about Their lives, tastes and what They expect. They know the submissive will be taking a leap of faith and are supportive of her.
     To possess her They know they must earn her respect. To do this They must prove They are as They say, that They care for her, that They would push her limits only to build her strangths, that They are willing to spend the time to learn her as a person first, then as a submissive. They know how wonderful this gift is that she offers and are willing to live up to her trust in Them.
     To this end, They grow with her, learning her secret needs and desires, in return expressing Their own. They are always ready to affirm her worth, increasing her confidence in herself and in the gift she gives. They can then gently push her limits to show her she can be more than she feels she can,that she can go farther than she ever thought possible. They slowly open her flower of submission, coaxing her passion for Them into full bloom.
     If she lacks self esteem, They show her They respect her,and find her worthy of Their time,They show her she has beauty in Their eyes so she IS beautiful. They focus on her strengths to teach her of her own power. They softly explain that the gift she gives is the most wonderful gift of all, herself.
     They take time to learn her soul before thinking of learning her body. As the Dominants learn Their submissive, a connection takes place, allowing Them to sense her needs, desires and passions. With this new knowledge the Dominants are able to take Their submissive to new heights of pleasure, to guide her and walk with her as T/they seek new levels of love and fullfillment.
     In taking a submissive into Their service the Dominant takes on many responsibilities, They pledge to help guide her in her path, not only in the bedroom, but also in life.They pledge to be there for her when she needs Them,to care for her, to ease her pain when she is depressed,to comfort her when she is ill, to assist her in overcoming her fears and worries, to hold and love her when she needs affection.
     The Dominants do not seek to change Their submissive into what They want her to be, but, They revel in the chance to show her what she can become. They enjoy showing her those strengths she already possesses, and guide her only, helping her to grow into the person she wishes to be. They coax her into finding her own path, but never state outright what that path should be. Once found They will keep her to her task, gently pushing her to become the woman They know she can be.
     Is there a profile of the perfect Dominant? We do not think so. Perfection is something we all strive for but never reach, it is the struggle to find perfection that makes a good Dominant. There is no one discription of good Dominants. Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, no viewpoint is wrong, merely different,All that can be said is a good Dominant should have good qualities, that should include, strength, ability,confidence and control. They must have the ability to learn and the presence of mind to understand They can always learn more.
     They should be loving, caring, encouraging, honorable and chivalrous. They should respect and cherish women and show others the respect that They Themselves wish to be shown. The Dominants should be self-assured, and in that confidence, not think that to build Themselves up They need to look down on others. They should be sure of Their ideas, but not so sure that Their ideas are the only path. They will allow others to follow their own paths, no matter how different without ridicule. If They see a wrong They seek to right it, without pressing that Their way is the only way. only expressing the dangers of another's actions, or offering Their assistance to help guide them out of danger.
     They know the difference in play and punishment, between pain and sensation.They never exert Their power in anger. They never bring anger and hostility into a scene. They do not use this gift to vent Their anger. They leave outside concerns outside. They know that to control others They must first master Themselves.
     They will exercise Their art to help Their submissive become the woman she has always been, deep within her spirit. They take her gift of submission seriously, knowing it is not given lightly or blindly. They always remember how precious the gift is, how rare it is, how beautiful it is. Because she has given Them something that can not be taken but must be given, the gift of herself, her soul, the Dominants should cherish that gift as the rare jewel that it is.
     The submissive should be firm in her femininity. she offers herself to the Dominant freely of her own choosing. she gives the gift of her submission in exchange for Their Love, care, knowledge and protection. she obeys because she chooses to not because she is forced to. she comes to Them as a woman but unsure of her role, seeking Their guidance. and wants to learn quickly what is expected of her. With this learning as They open Themselves to her,she begins to give more of herself, of her soul, of her secrets,until all the two can share is learned, building T/their relationship,sharing T/their souls and secrets, so T/they may walk this path together.
      There is no power lost, no control wrested from her. she gives willingly to the Dominants giving of Themselves until an immense measure of trust is built between the T/two of T/them. The submissive must trust her Dominant completely in order to give Them so much of herself. The Dominants must trust the submissive in order for Them to accept her and her gift.
     Training (just another word for teaching) is only the process of learning what the Dominants desires. The submissive must learn when to kneel, how to sit to please her Dominant, how to address her Dominant and so on. she does these things because she wishes to. her wish is to please her Dominant in all ways possible. Even the most "bratty" submissive comes to know what is expected of her and what her Dominant's limits are.
     It is said that the Dominants hold all of the control, and in some ways They do. But this is a consensual relationship. The Dominants hold control only as far as the submissive is willing to go. They may push her limits for the pleasures of T/them both. However, the submissive can walk away at anytime, as hard as that may be to do, if the Dominant loses sight of her needs.It is said that the submissive holds no responsibilities, However a deeper observation shows otherwise. It has been said by many that the Dominant holds all the responsibilities, yet many of the submissive's are so subtle as to be over looked. she must please her Dominant. she must act as They wish. her every action reflects on her Dominant, she must uphold Their honor as the Dominant must uphold her's and protect her.
     she must have faith and trust in her Dominants as They must prove her trust well founded. she needs the strength of will to know when her Dominant is acting in her best interests, and be willing to do as They ask without embarrassment within her limits. because that is what her Dominant wants and what she wants, to please Them. she would do that which seems difficult and even embarrassing at the time. she must not follow blindly, but see that what her Dominant asks of her is for the pleasure of Them both.
     At times the Dominant can see that the submissive can go farther than she thought. With the use of safe words They are able to take her there. For the beginning of all relations it is most important to adide by the perceived limits. It must be taken slowly. If a safe word is used and the Dominant does not heed the submissive's perceived limits, an important trust is broken.The use of a safe word in any new relationship should be stressed so that the trust and understanding can grow. With time and understanding however, the T/two will reach a point where the Dominant knows how far the submissive can go, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and the submissive can come to trust her Dominants decisions. Even then a safe word is an important safety net. It can be dropped in session, but a Worthy Dominant still holds the value of using safe words in new and unchartered territory. Even in long and trusting relationships the Dominants know They can not read minds, even if They know Their submissive extremely well.
     The submissive has a wonderful role, to live with the right Dominant. With Them she will grow emotionally and spiritually into what she wishes to become. Learn to love freely and unconditionally, and find the true power deep within her. The Dominants also become the people They feel within Their soul. proud to walk the honorable path of Teacher, Poet, Warrior and Protector, proud of Their charge and the pleasure They bring E/each other.Together T/they will embark on a journey, that will take them from out of the realms and limits of society and into the timeless dimensions of the Universe.

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What should good Dominants be?.