Copyright©2002
here is a link to a nation wide organazation against domestic violence....if you feel threatened in anyway please  get help
www.ncadv.org just click the flower below to go right there
ok here is the hard facts about  domestic abuse... one in three women  WILL be abused in her life time maybe you  think "not me" .. but what are the chances your best friend or sister or mother are thinking that very thing too... ONE of you is wrong this and other  mind blowing facts about  abuse was printed  in a story by Marie Claire magazine the oct 2003 issue.( ) comments are my own and not ment to reflect on the issue in any way other then voicing my own opinion.
  FACT: EVERY nine seconds a woman in the United States is beaten.
  FACT: Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to American Women.
  FACT: In the yr 2000, 10 times the number of women were killed by a man they knew than were killed by strangers.
  FACT:  ONE in five high school girls reports being abused by a partner..(this one really turned my tummy)
FACT:   ON average in the U.S. four women are killed everyday by a partner
FACT:  Almost 25% percent if domestic homicides are witnessed by the victims children... (this alone should be reason to seek help)
  FACT: Only changing the  local and federal laws concerning   punishments for abusers and  convictions of battered women who kill  are the only ways to make it better.. most abusers get probation and or a fine no jail time. contact your local officals and see what you can do to help push for stiffer punishments for abusers.
Fact:  We cant always know where our kids are but help  break the chain talk to your kids about abuse tell them its not right   give them someone to talk to if they run into it..and remember kids learn what they see not always what you say... please dont be an example of abuse for your children.



                                          WOMEN FOR WOMEN against domestic violence.

                                                Don’t suffer in silence    1-800-244-1978
                                                        24 hr service and confidential



          If you have been a victim of violence and need information, support or emergency shelter, call the local women’s crisis center, shelter or hide away nearest you.
          If you need immediate medical attention contact your doctor or the nearest emergency room.
          If the police have been summoned and you wish to press charges you will need the following.

A. police report.
B. Have photos of the injuries taken while they are most visible.
C. Contact the police about filing a complaint.
  JUST because the officers responding fills out a report that DOES NOT mean a complaint has been filed. Be sure to follow through with filing a complaint or there may never be any records of the abuse.This is very important  and could mean the difference in coustody hearings of minor children. the first thing most officals ask is... was there a  REPORTED history of abuse in this case.

The need for shelter cuts across all economic levels, educational backgrounds
Ethnic and racial lines, when women share the common experience of feeling isolated and alone in fear, shame and confusion.

              Some service women may need and find at shelters all across the country.

Shelter, emergency food and clothing for Women and Children.  Some families may come with only the clothing they are wearing.       
    Some things provided are Advocacy for children, and an emotional supportive environment with a non-judgmental atmosphere in which a woman can plan for her future. Every woman coming for shelter defines her own needs and goals. And she should be supported in determining what is right for her.
                    
                                                 Professional assistance

Through a community referral system, access can be provided to lawyers, doctors, special counselors, family education programs and all areas where professional assistance is needed.                                                                                     

            Women who have become victims of domestic violence are frightened for themselves and their children. Domestic violence has not been recognized as a social problem and the issue has been clouded with misconceptions.
              Physical abuse rarely occurs by itself. Usually it is accompanied by verbal and or mental abuse. A woman victim of violence is often accused of provoking violence. Her behavior is a real response to the constant fear of never knowing why or when she will be beaten. The battered woman over a period of time often becomes isolated from her family and friends. She is unable to get adequate help from the legal, medical and social services, which traditionally have not recognized her as a victim of violence, and so we need to address the need and cry for help
                A woman you know is being beaten. As you read this, a woman is being battered…every nine seconds. Battering is NOT just a punch or a kick; it is harassment, threats, being thrown against walls, having things thrown at you, being slapped or having your hair pulled and being severely beaten.
                  Battering crosses all racial, social and class lines. Rich and poor alike can become victims of violence. No racial class is spared this social out cry for help.
                  Women are the most frequent victims of violent crimes such as battering, rape, and assault. Violence surrounds us, if you choose to look at it. In order to help ourselves, and each other, we must acknowledge the widespread violence directed against women. All women are affected by this violence: Some of us have been battered or raped; all of us live with the daily fear of attack.
                        So often we feel helpless to do anything to stop the violence against women. But we are not helpless. We need to stand up and speak out, come together, for all victims of domestic abuse. We will stop being victims, by helping each other, taking the first steps to end battering and all violence against women.



                                            Identifying a would be abuser.
       Now remember these are traditional signs, nothing is a rule so to speak.
And I use the term He for the abuser, but not all abusers are male and not all males are abusers. When you go on a date if you feel that strange feeling that something just isn’t right, follow your gut instinct and believe it probably isn’t. If he acts over protective or jealous you might want to think about what his agenda is. Find out what he feels and thinks on the opposite sex. Does he respect them does he value them or does he think they are lesser humans and only here for service and to be taken care of? Is he overly aggressive not wanting to take no for an answer? Is he overly critical? Does he become critical of friends and family? One way for abuse to work is that the abuser will isolate the victim. Separating her from family and friends. Some times this takes along time and others it will only take a short time but mostly it is done subtly. Remember his goal is to keep you the victim there not to chase you away. Blaming the victim for the abuse is another way he refuses to accept personal responsibility for his actions. Also remember that abuse doesn’t always happen alone most of the time is happens with mental and emotional battering as well. These are just as dangerous for mental and emotional health as being beaten is to the physical health. If it doesn’t feel good or right then it isn’t. Your environment affects your mental and emotional health if it  is violent then you cannot be emotionally and mentally healthy, because battering causes a victim to live in fear and to be uncertain. Abuse robs a victim of her self- esteem, and may cause problems as sever as posttraumatic stress disorder. (PTSD) And it undermines her self worth.
And how she parents her children as well suffers.





WOMEN FOR WOMEN against domestic violence.

Don’t suffer in silence    1-800-244-1978
24 hr service and confidential



          If you have been a victim of violence and need information, support or emergency shelter, call the local women’s crisis center, shelter or hide away nearest you.
          If you need immediate medical attention contact your doctor or the nearest emergency room.
          If the police have been summoned and you wish to press charges

A. police report.
B. Have photos of the injuries taken while they are most visible.
C. Contact the police about filing a complaint.

The need for shelter cuts across all economic levels, educational backgrounds

Ethnic and racial lines, when women share the common experience of feeling isolated and alone in fear, shame and confusion.

              Some service women may need and find at shelters all across the country.

Shelter emergency food and clothing for Women and Children.  Some families may come with only the clothing they are wearing.       
    Some things provided are Advocacy for children, and an emotional supportive environment with a non-judgmental atmosphere in which a woman can plan for her future. Every woman coming for shelter defines her own needs and goals. And she should be supported in determining what is right for her.
            Professional assistance
Through a community referral system, access can be provided to lawyers, doctors, special counselors, family education programs and all areas where professional assistance is needed.                                                                                     

            Women who have become victims of domestic violence are frightened for themselves and their children. Domestic violence has not been recognized as a social problem and the issue has been clouded with misconceptions.
              Physical abuse rarely occurs by itself. Usually it is accompanied by verbal and or mental abuse. A woman victim of violence is often accused of provoking violence. Her behavior is a real response to the constant fear of never knowing why or when she will be beaten. The battered woman over a period of time often becomes isolated from her family and friends. She is unable to get adequate help from the legal, medical and social services, which traditionally have not recognized her as a victim of violence, and so we need to address the need and cry for help
                A woman you know is being beaten. As you read this, a woman is being battered…every eighteen seconds. Battering is NOT just a punch or a kick; it is harassment, threats, being thrown against walls, having things thrown at you, being slapped or having your hair pulled and being severely beaten.
                  Battering crosses all racial, social and class lines. Rich and poor alike can become victims of violence. No racial class is spared this social out cry for help.
                  Women are the most frequent victims of violent crimes such as battering, rape, and assault. Violence surrounds us, if you choose to look at it. In order to help ourselves, and each other, we must acknowledge the widespread violence directed against women. All women are affected by this violence: Some of us have been battered or raped; all of us live with the daily fear of attack.
                        So often we feel helpless to do anything to stop the violence against women. But we are not helpless. We need to stand up and speak out, come together, for all victims of domestic abuse. We will stop being victims, by helping each other, taking the first steps to end battering and all violence against women.



                                            Identifying a would be abuser.
       Now remember these are traditional signs, nothing is a rule so to speak.
And I use the term He for the abuser, but not all abusers are male and not all males are abusers. When you go on a date if you feel that strange feeling that something just isn’t right, follow your gut instinct and believe it probably isn’t. If he acts over protective or jealous you might want to think about what his agenda is. Find out what he feels and thinks on the opposite sex. Does he respect them does he value them or does he think they are lesser humans and only here for service and to be taken care of? Is he overly aggressive not wanting to take no for an answer? Is he overly critical? Does he become critical of friends and family? One way for abuse to work is that the abuser will isolate the victim. Separating her from family and friends. Some times this takes along time and others it will only take a short time but mostly it is done subtly. Remember his goal is to keep you the victim there not to chase you away. Blaming the victim for the abuse is another way he refuses to accept personal responsibility for his actions. Also remember that abuse doesn’t always happen alone most of the time is happens with mental and emotional battering as well. These are just as dangerous for mental and emotional health as being beaten is to the physical health. If it doesn’t feel good or right then it isn’t. Your environment affects your mental and emotional health if it violent then you cannot be emotionally and mentally healthy, because battering causes a victim to live in fear and to be uncertain. Abuse robs a victim of her self- esteem, and may cause problems as sever as posttraumatic stress disorder. (PTSD) And it undermines her self worth.