4th and Goal Commentary - May 23, 2001
Fifty Year Itch
By Bill McCartney
Kit's husband divorced her last year. Nothing unusual, except
that they'd been married forty-eight years.
I'm Bill McCartney... It's 4TH and Goal!
Not too long ago, it was easier to stay married "till death do us part".
The average life expectancy was only 47 years. Nowadays, it's closer to
76, nearly an additional 30 years to stay married to the same person.
So, seniors are dumping their mates for younger women and men, devastating
their families. Not only that, but more and more divorced senior
women are living in poverty, 22 percent of them at present. Retirement
years are stretching out longer and longer, and couples who aren't used
to spending so much time together are finding it hard to do so for 10,
20, or 30 years.
You know, this is a new problem in human history. In the old days,
a man who lived to 80 or 90 might have had three wives, but only because
he'd outlived his other wives. Nowadays, he's divorcing the wife
of five decades and marrying a new one who might be just five decades,
or less, old!
Guys, I think we need to talk about ways to stay married when we're
75. There are some real issues to deal with. The seeds of a healthy
retirement get planted much earlier in marriage. Marriages don't
all of a sudden get stale when we retire. We should anticipate the
unique relational dynamics of that phase, and consider those long in advance.
We husbands who've worked for 30 or 40 years straight can drive our
wives loony, being at home all the time. So, in light of that, we
can start spending creative time with our wives when we're young and just
starting out, and, then let's continue to do so, throughout our lives.
We can have regular date nights, even if we can't afford much - it doesn't
take money to be romantic together.
With a little effort, our wives may greet our retirements with cheer
instead of groans. And, with some forethought, our marriages can
be life long.
I'm Coach Bill McCartney.
Source Material: Newsweek Dec 4 2000.
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