For the better part of nine months, Dan Gilbert lost his
wife, Lori, to an internet game.
I'm Bill McCartney... It's 4TH and Goal!
Each day Lori, 35, retreated to her computer in the basement, surfacing
only to sleep and grab a quick bite to eat. Her computer log showed she
played an average of 65 hours a week. "It was like we were in different
worlds," Dan said. "She didn't do much of anything except play that game."
Lori was playing one of the new types of internet games. The games
are computer-generated fantasy worlds where thousands of players can talk
and adventure together. But the design of the games, which encourages players
to spend months and even years playing, has drawn some players into spending
dozens of hours a week immersed in a virtual world while the real world
rushes past.
David Turner, a fireman in Texas, found the world of online games
a relaxing and predictable change of pace from his hectic real life. "It
was an escape," he said. He made friends online and was admired for all
his game-playing skill. But after two years of playing, Turner, a father
of three who was often online for up to eight hours a day, began to realize
how little time he was spending with his family.
Men, here it is: one more way for us to avoid reality. It's
not so hard to understand the desire to escape from reality and live in
a fantasy world. But, just because we hide from reality doesn't mean
it goes away. Not only is it out there waiting for us, but most times
it has gotten worse because we have been hiding from it.
Average people spend 3 hours weekly on the internet. Internet addicts
average nearly 20 hours weekly. A more sobering number is that normal Americans
spend almost as much time watching TV as they do working, well over thirty
hours.
Guys, it's not that we shouldn't have some time to ourselves, to
enjoy the things we enjoy. But, my guess is that if we compare the
time we spend entertaining ourselves to the time we spend with those we
love, it will be clear that we need to change our priorities for the sake
of our marriages and families.
I'm Coach Bill McCartney.
Source: LA Times, May 12, 2000.
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4th and Goal - Coaching for Life's Tough Calls, with Bill McCartney,
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