Kevin Rudd addresses his colleagues before leaving Australia for the APEC meeting
Listen up, it’s Kevin here,
With a new rule that must be heard,
When talking to the media about the economy,
Don’t use the ‘D’ word.
Julia, while I’m away,
No matter what’s occurred,
Please be very careful what you say,
Don’t use the ‘D’ word.
Wayne, old boy, with what you know,
They’ll want your views heard,
But after your performance at MYEFO,
You won’t even remember the ‘D’ word.
Lindsay, just keep speaking quickly,
Ensure your messages are blurred,
Nod you head and come across as prickly,
They won’t even know if you used the ‘D’ word.
Now as for the rest of you lowly MP’s,
I find the notion quite absurd,
But if you happen to be interviewed,
Don’t use the ‘D’ word.
A voice from the back of the room;
Mr Rudd, a humble back-bencher here,
Sorry, but I’m far from impressed,
When it comes to our governments first year,
The only ‘D’ word I think of is ‘depressed’.
No, not ‘depressed’, you idiot,
That’s not the ‘D’ word, is it?
The ‘D’ word I’m speaking of is ‘deficit’,
Oh damn I went and said it!
A backbencher breaks ranks when approached by the media;
“I’ve just come from a caucus meeting,
And am happy to discuss what was said,
I’m going to break ranks and use the ‘D’ word,
Kevin Rudd is a Dickhead.”