First, change your screen resolution to 1024-768 or 1152-864. Increase the brightness of your monitor. Then, it would appear that if you are still on a dialup connection you might not be able to withstand the loading times involved while surfing the site. And just to orientate you a little click on the BLACK AND YELLOW box at the bottom of this screen to enter the main site to start acheiving things. The rest of the animations contained in the boxes are anything but web banners, and clicking on them would result in absolutely nothing. It's all a concerted effort on my part to assimilate you into a slightly precarious realm governed by a very deranged mind. Embrace this calamitous moment. And feel free to leave your mark, however indelible, on the GUESTBOOK.