Dionysus
Modern Mythology #12
by maven
STANDARD DISCLAIMER: The characters of Birds of Prey are the property of Warner
Bros. and DC Comics, all other characters are the property of DC Comics.
RATING:
PG/PG13. Just two people talking. A few bad words.
CONTINUITY
and SPOILERS: This is an Alternative Universe as it’s a blend of the Birds of
Prey television show and a variety of DC comic books, particularity The Killing
Joke and the Batman titles between 1983 and 1991. There will be spoilers for
all 13 episodes of the series now that I’ve seen them all.
CREDIT
WHERE CREDIT IS DUE: We'll boil it down to BG, Warped and Nik as being the
chief prods to this particular muse.
SERIES
NOTES:
1) Imagine my surprise when it turns out that Gabby appeared in two episodes
and was mentioned in (so far as I can remember) one other. So this Gabby is
pretty much made up from whole cloth. Plaid, I think. Greens and browns and
dull yellowy-gold. Nothing too garish, a hunting tartan rather than a piper's.
2) Timing. Right. Darned if I know. I'm going with the events of the final
episode happened near the end of Dinah and Gabby's junior year (grade 11 for us
Canucks) and that Policy and Procedure happened at least six months after that.
Modern Mythology, therefore, starts in the middle of their final (senior, grade
12, 12th grade, year 12, whatever) year. I think. Kind of hazy.
FEEDBACK,
COMMENTS AND FLAMES: Email at maven369@sympatico.ca
“Almost there."
"I changed my mind. Where are the drugs?"
"Too late for drugs I'm afraid," the doctor
says. "You're at full dilation and
drugs are just going to slow things down."
"What!
Barbara!"
"Shh, you're scaring the nurses."
"Good!
Maybe I'll terrorize that quack into some drugs."
"You don't want the quack leaving, Helena. It's showtime," the doctor said,
sounding cheerful and not in the least terrorized. "Baby's crowning.
And really eager to be born."
"No patience," Barbara muttered, squeezing
Helena's hand back. "Wonder where
that comes from?"
"I have patience. I can do slow," Helena drawled, ignoring the doctor, the
nurse, the room full of machines and devices and concentrating on Barbara's
face as a final contraction gripped her.
"Barbara, if you can drag yourself away from
Helena's eyes I need you to hold this baby boy."
"What?"
"Congratulations," the doctor said,
carefully placing the baby onto Barbara's lap.
"You know what to do?"
"Don't drop it," Barbara says, voice close
to panic. "Drop him."
"Right. Now,
we'll be back in ten minutes to clamp and cut the cord and get everyone cleaned
up. We're just in the monitoring room
using the drugs we didn't give Helena to par-tay."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me. Thank you for letting me do this. Haven't delivered me a baby since I interned."
"Now you tell me," Helena muttered, voice
tired and quiet. "We get a
discount then, right? Like a student
hair stylist?"
Dr. Dennison laughed but didn't reply. Simply waving and following the nurses out
of the room.
"Is he okay?"
"He's..." Barbara began, stopping as the
infant suddenly yawned, wiggling a little in the blanket and blinking at her
before closing his eyes. "He has
your eyes."
"All babies have blue eyes."
"They aren't blue, Hel."
"Oh."
"Oh, indeed," Barbara said, smiling
slightly as she cradled the baby on her lap one handed, stoking his head
lightly.
"No doubt he's meta then?"
"No. But
we knew he'd likely be."
"Everything's changed," Helena said. "Hasn't it?"
Smiling compassionately Barbara nodded. "Yes.
It has."
The masked criminal paused at the doorway, gun in
hand. Turning abruptly at the voice.
"Freeze, scumbag. You've stolen your last purse." The figure took a couple of hopping steps to the side but
couldn't escape the voice. "You're
not up against some little old lady now.
You face... umm... you face... face the wrath... Yeah, face the wrath of
Beast Boy? Animal Man? Feral Lad?"
"Kyle, are you ready?"
"Yeah, mama!
Just a second!" Quickly Kyle bundled the handful of GI Joe dolls
into the top of the Lego buildings, grabbing his homework and stuffing it into
his book bag.
"Glasses!"
"I remembered!" Kyle said, turning abruptly
and running back to his desk, grabbing his glasses and stuffing them into the
breast pocket of his shirt. "Did
Alfred make breakfast?"
"No, so do you want frozen waffles or microwave
poached egg?"
"Reeces Pieces cereal?"
"Absolutely not."
"Mom eats them."
"Your mother is an adult, not a growing
child. Now, would you like some of my
cereal?"
"Ewww."
"Excuse me?"
"No-thank-you-not-to-my-taste-thank-you. Ummm, the microwave poached egg is fun to
watch. Can I microwave grapes again
when it's done?"
Barbara paused, turning the chair to face Kyle and peered
at him over her glasses.
"Again?"
"Ah... yeah, might have done it once when I was
a kid."
"Says the worldly wise six year old. After school -maybe- if you promise to clean
it out after."
"Cool, thanks.
What do you think of Beast Boy?" Kyle asked, putting four slices of
bread into the toaster.
"Too four colour."
"Animal Man?"
"Implies you turn into an animal. Other than at meal time."
"Mooommm.
Feral Lad?"
"You're serious?"
"Just Feral?"
"Better," Barbara said, hand poised over the
door latch of the microwave. "Why
the rush in picking a name?"
"Preparation," Kyle said. "The key to success."
"Exactly," Barbara said, starting at the
muffled explosion and stabbing the latch button of the microwave.
"And when Mom asks over the comm she can use my
code name and not call me 'the kid' like she does now."
"Fair enough... this probably tastes better than
it looks," Barbara said, staring down at the poached eggs.
"It looks cool," Kyle said, handing a plate
to Barbara who gingerly slid the egg from the container to Kyle's plate. "It looks just like..."
"Kyle," Barbara said sharply. "Do you honestly think I want to know
what it looks like?"
Frowning Kyle looked from the egg to his mother's
face. "No. It'd gross you out."
"Thank you."
Nodding Kyle slid his fork under his egg, levering it
so that it pulsated on his plate.
Staring up though his bangs he watched as Barbara began to cut into her
own egg and toast. "It looks a lot
like that thing that jumps onto Spock's back."
"Kyle!" Barbara protested, grinning back at
him and shaking her head.
"Gross."
"Sorry."
"No, you're not."
"No, I'm not," Kyle admitted. "It was funny."
Barbara just shook her head. "Homework packed? Piano books? Lunch card?"
"Yes, yes and yes. Am I coming home with you?"
"Staff meeting so Alfred will pick you up. Can you help him with some errands?"
"Sure.
Do we have time to say goodbye to mom?"
"Yes.
I'm cooking tonight so ask her if she's going to be around for
diner. Meet me in the car. And don't forget your glasses."
+++++
Slowly Kyle inched open the bedroom door, dropping
lightly to his hands and knees, blinking a few times so his eyes adjusted to
the dimmer light of the bedroom. Moving
slowly -hand, knee, breath, hand, knee, breath- he approached the bed.
The pillow hit him before he'd made it halfway.
"Rawr!" he screamed, running the last few
feet and launching himself at the bed and into his mother's arms.
"Unfair!" Helena said, lying on her
back. "Attacked while sleeping..."
"You hit first!
You were awake!"
"I thought it was an elephant charging in. You expect me to sleep through that?"
Kyle shook his head, bouncing on the bed on his
knees. "You gonna be home for
supper. Mama's cooking," he asked.
"She is?
Then I'll be here," she assured him, "but I have a meeting
before sweeps so I may have to cut out early."
"What about?"
"Conference call to a Japanese company doing
work in neural linked robotics. "
"Like, controlling robots with their
brains?"
"Yep. My
researchers think it can be adapted to the spinal cord patch thing. I wanna buy the research. They don't want to sell."
"Whatchya going to do?"
"Buy the company."
"Really?"
"Well, If Arthur says we can."
"And if you can't?"
Helena grinned.
"I'll get creative. Now,
you going to have a good day today?"
"Yep.
Did you have a good day last night?"
"Yep."
"Did you beat up any badguys?"
"Well, maybe a few... but they wouldn't listen
to reason first."
"So you had to get... creative," Kyle said,
raising an eyebrow in a passable imitation of Barbara. "Okay. As long as you talked
first." He suddenly cocked his
head. "Mama's honking the horn in
the garage. I better go."
"Got your glasses?"
"Yeah.
And the spares."
"Good. Go
learn something while I doze," she said, ruffling his hair. "Grow up and be smart like your
Mama."
"Okay."
+++++
"Since the weather is so nice," the teacher
said, "you may take your lunches outside."
The room was, Kyle thought as he took his lunch box
into a quiet corner of the playground, pretty divided. The kids who were happy to eat outside
because of there'd be less supervision and those that weren't. Weather had little to do with it.
Like Sam. Sam
had a lisp. Actually, Kyle thought,
more like an accent that reminded him of Alfred's precise pronunciation. But it was different and she was excused
three times a week to see the speech teacher and that attracted attention from
some.
Like Jimmy.
Kyle and Jimmy had reached an understanding last year which had involved
Kyle suspending Jimmy from the monkey bars.
Which had meant both Mom and Mama having a long talk with both the
teacher, principle and one superintendent of the school board and then a really,
really long talk and no TV for three weeks.
But Jimmy hadn't bothered him or called him geek or four eyes or
double-momma-boy ever since.
Kyle wished that meant that Jimmy had had a change of
heart, realized that words held the weight of fists, that violence was never
acceptable and had grown into a good person.
And pigs could fly, as Aunt Dinah would add.
With a sigh Kyle left his corner. Pushing remaining lunch into the bag he
headed toward where Sam was sitting and taking grim satisfaction at how Jimmy
and his gang took off with pretend casualness.
"Are you allergic to peanuts, eggs or shrimp or
are you lactose intolerant?"
"What," Sam asked, rubbing the back of her
hand across her eyes.
"Are you allergic to peanuts, chocolate, eggs or
shrimp or are you lactose intolerant?"
"No," Sam said, almost angrily. "Why?"
Shrugging Kyle dropped his pudding cup onto her
lap. "Chocolate fudge
sundae."
"Oh."
"Well, then," Kyle said, turning.
"You could sit.
I have some cookies unless you're allergic to peanuts, chocolate, eggs
or shrimp or are... can't drink milk."
"You have shrimp cookies?" Kyle asked,
dropping down beside her. The rule
about sharing lunches was often ignored.
"Gross."
"Yeah," Kyle agreed, taking a chocolate
chip cookie. "You know, they'll
just come back when I'm not around."
Sam shrugged.
"Quiet now though."
"Yeah," Kyle said, falling silent and
thinking hard.
++++
It was, after all, very easy. Both his mothers had told him time and time
again that planning was important.
Pretend things go wrong so you're not surprised when they do. Pick your moment and...
Make it look like an accident. "Ooh.
Gosh, sorry Jimmy, wow, that was clumsy of me."
"Get off me, freak."
"You leave them alone... everyone... because if you
don't, I'll find out and it'll be the roof, not the monkey bars."
"You wouldn't," Jimmy said. Not sounding the least sure of himself.
And Kyle allowed something that he and his mom had
talked about, something that his mama knew about but only just barely
understood, something that he tried very hard to always keep leashed and
hidden... out.
"Try.
Me," he said, softly and clearly and smiled because he could sense
the sudden submission.
"Kyle!
Jimmy! Are you two
alright?"
"Yes, ma'am," Kyle said, straightening his
glasses and getting clumsily to his feet.
"Yeah, we just... tripped."
For a moment Kyle felt bad at the tone of Jimmy's
voice. The defeat and almost fear. And then Sam nodded once, as if answering a
question to herself, and the guilt died.
+++++
"Good afternoon, Master Kyle."
"Good afternoon, Alfred," Kyle said,
slipping into the back seat and buckling first himself and then his
bookbag. "All clicked."
"Very good," Alfred said. "And we are clear," he said when
the car entered the street traffic.
"Whew, thanks Alfred," Kyle said, pulling
off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.
"When I'm older and on sweeps I'm not wearing the stupid
glasses."
"I imagine not.
Like a cape they'd only get in the way."
"No cape?"
"No cape," Alfred confirmed in an atrocious
Edna Mode voice. "Now, is there
anything required immediately?"
"Nope.
Just some spelling due on Monday."
"Very well.
I was planning on taking a meal to Miss Gabby and Miss Dinah. Do you have a suggestion?"
"Lox, Stock and Bagel," Kyle said promptly.
"You have a favour to ask Miss Dinah?"
"How'd you know?"
"You chose her favourite take away, not
yours."
"Oh. I
sound selfish then."
"Perhaps a little," Alfred said,
softly. "But you have a good heart
and are still young."
+++++
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure," Dinah said.
"You want me to take off?" Gabby asked,
pausing in setting out her supper.
"Um, no.
It's okay," Kyle said, glancing at Alfred taking an overlong time
preparing himself a tea. "I
threatened to dangle Jimmy again. From
the roof."
"Dangle.
Definitely Helena's kid," Gabby muttered. "Are you going to if he doesn't do what you want?"
"Well, yeah," Kyle said. "Otherwise I'd be lying and that's
wrong."
"Honey," Dinah sighed, touching Gabby's
wrist briefly, "butt out. What's
your question, Kyle?"
"Well, I scared him. And that felt bad but then Sam, she smiled and I didn't as feel
bad then. Is that okay?"
"Definitely Helena's kid," Gabby muttered
and Dinah elbowed her.
"Okay.
Well, feeling bad about scaring someone, even if you need to scare them,
is good. Feeling good about helping
someone is good. Do you scare him very
badly?"
"Well, he didn't wet himself this time,"
Kyle said thoughtfully. "Should I tell Mom?"
"Probably is a good idea. I think both Helena and Barbara would
understand."
Kyle sighed and then nodded. "Thank you, Doctor Dinah," he
said, holding out his hand.
"You're welcome. I'll send the bill around tomorrow."
"The usual fee?"
"Vacuum my car," Dinah agreed.
+++++
"Done!" Kyle said, tossing the spelling
notebook onto the basket by the Delphi monitor. "Playing in the lot on 5th."
"Alright.
Be back at least a half hour before supper," Barbara said, switching
student thumb drives to look at the next essay.
"Love you and I have my glasses."
The stairs were faster than the elevator, especially
if you cheated and leapt from landing to landing. Stairs, at least individual steps, were for wusses.
"With animal grace Feral leaps into, ummm,
warehouse," Kyle muttered to himself.
The lot had been used for a dumping ground for years - a fact he was
pretty sure Mama wasn't aware of.
"Somewhere the villain hid, a gun and a bag of money..."
+++++
"Can I get a tattoo?"
"No."
"What kind?"
"Umm. Big one, something tribal across my
chest," he suggested, waving his hand in the general area.
"Still, no," Barbara repeated.
"Why?"
"Cause it'd be cool?" Kyle suggested.
"It's not an 'ask for a Ferrari and then settle
for a new bicycle', is it?" Barbara asked.
"Umm..."
"And it's got nothing to do with the cat you
have in your bedroom, is it?" Helena asked.
"Umm..."
"Cat?"
Helena cocked her head slightly. "Sleeping in the closet right
now."
"There was this huge dog. And it was going to eat the kitten. So I jumped on the dog and it knocked me
down so I got up and growled back and it got scared and went away and I looked
and looked for other kittens or the mom cat but I couldn't find it and I couldn't
leave it. Could I?"
Barbara and Helena exchanged a look.
"No, I suppose you couldn't ," Barbara said
softly. "How big a dog?"
"Bigger than me," Kyle said proudly. "Umm, not that much bigger. Maybe he only looked bigger," he added
quickly at the look on Barbara's face.
"He was probably a poodle."
"It's okay, Kyle," Helena said. "She's use to us jumping in over our
heads and getting out okay. Just be
careful. Go get the kitten. And the milk you gave her."
"Okay."
Barbara and Helena exchanged a look.
"It would teach him responsibility," Helena
said firmly.
"It would be a friend, unconditional love,"
Barbara added.
Barbara and Helena exchanged a look.
"That was just scary," Helena muttered.
"Here he is," Kyle said, cuddling the kitten
to his chest.
"Let me see," Helena asked. Gently she took the kitten from Kyle,
holding him up briefly before setting it onto her lap. "Looks like he's wearing a tuxedo. Did you name him?"
"Him? Umm,
no because I didn't want to name him if I couldn't keep him. That would have hurt more."
"Fair enough.
You have all your arguments about why you should keep him?"
"It would teach me responsibility and it would
love me even when everyone was made at me and I'd change the litter
box." Barbara and Helena exchanged
a look. "Was that a yes look or a
no look?" Kyle asked.
"That was a yes look. You have that teleconference call?"
"Yeah, I was going into the office to take it
instead of using the Delphi."
"How about you take it here and kittensit Tux,
I'll take Kyle to Petsmart."
"Plan.
Works. Okay. Don't max out the credit card on
catnip."
"Thanks!
I'm going to call him Tux."
"No problem, Ky," Helena said, handing the
kitten back to Kyle. "Howdy,
Tux," she said in a really bad Texan accent.
"Mom?
Mama?"
"Yes, Kyle" Barbara said.
"Can I have a Ferrari?"
+++++
"And this is your bed. And your litter box is in my bathroom and Alfred says he can make
a little door in the big one. And you have
three food bowls and water dish with a water bottle so it's always full
and..."
Kyle smiled digging into the bag for the cat toys,
turning to find Tux curled up asleep in the middle of his bed.
"You're not supposed to sleep there," he
scolded.
There was a flash of movement outside his window and
he ran to look, gasping in delight before running to the main room.
"Mama, mama, Aunt Dinah can fly!"
"Yes," Helena said, catching him as he
leapt. "Apparently she can fly
now. And no, I still can't and no, you
still can't and no, your Mama can't make a machine that can make us fly."
"Oh.
Darn," Kyle said, frowning for a minute before suddenly wiggling to
be let down. "Aunt Gabby!"
"Hey, Kyle."
"Aunt Gabby.
I got a kitten and I made a friend and I picked my super-hero name. Feral... that's my name... and Tux... that's
the kitten... is asleep or I'd show him to you."
"Sounds great, Kyle. Feral sounds like it'll scare the bad guys and I'll see Tux
tomorrow."
"Great!"
"Everything ready for tomorrow?" Barbara
asked.
"Yes.
Mom, check me when you get home?"
"'Course I will," Helena said. "Night, Feral."
Kyle laughed.
"Just twelve more years and I can go out too, right?"
"Oh, God," Barbara muttered.
"We'll talk," Helena said firmly.
"Okay, good night! Have fun."
+++++
"Uncle Richard?" Kyle asked, eyes blinking
to bring the dimly lit room into focus.
"Yeah, Kyle.
I'm here."
"You okay?
You sound like you have a cold."
"I'm alright," Richard said, clearing his
throat before coming closer. "You
need a drink or anything?"
"No, thanks.
Why are you here?"
"Was in town and your moms had to... they have
to do something right now. You okay
with me?"
"Sure, Uncle Richard. That's perfect. Makes it
a great day. I made a friend and I
stopped a mean bully and rescued a kitten and Mama says I can keep it and now
you're here to visit."
"I'm glad you had a good day, Kyle,"
Richard said, leaning down to brush the bangs from Kyle's eyes, the pupils so
large in the dim light the goldish-red irises were barely visible.
"Yeah," Kyle said, feeling the kitten stir
softly against his legs and sleep stealing over him. "It was the best day ever."
END
Next:
None if you want... go to The More They Stay The
Same
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