Desire
Part 14 of the Diurnal Dreaming Series.

by maven

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Characters owned by CBS Television, Jerry Bruckheimer and a few other production and distribution companies. "Desire" belongs to U2 and Island Records.

RATINGS DISCLAIMER: PG Rating. Catherine/Sara. Just two (Greg and Sara) or three people )if you count Bono) talking.

CONTINUITY DISCLAIMER: Season Five spoilers and setting. No real case specific spoilers.

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE: This is the answer to Femvamp's snowbound challenge where Catherine is to fall back on her coke habit and Sara is to find out. Couldn't quite do that.

RESEARCH DISCLAIMER: I watch the show, I read an article in the Toronto Star and this website http://members.aol.com/remiped/csi-news-realcsi.htm. That's about it.

STORY SPECIFIC NOTES: Watched Rattle and Hum. The song starts with the letter D.

FEEDBACK, COMMENTS AND FLAMES: Email at maven369@sympatico.ca


~Yeah~

Catherine walks into the break room at the end of her shift just as Bono breathes through the earphones hanging around my neck and right into my libido.

~Lover, I'm on the street. Gonna go where the bright lights and the big city meet. With a red guitar...~

She catches my eye as I watch her over my copy of the Journal of Forensic Sciences.

~...on fire. Desire.~

Greg, his back to the door, looks up from across the table. "Case bothering you?" he asks quietly. He's waiting for the same results I am, taking advantage of the delay to take a rare break.

~She's a candle burning in my room. Yeah, I'm like the needle, needle and spoon.~

I shake my head and turn from watching Catherine wash her coffee mug. "What do you mean?"

~Over the counter with a shotgun. Pretty soon everybody got one.~

"Your face just went all Spock."

~And the fever when I'm beside her... Desire, desire...~

She and I aren't equal. Not really. I'm the one who programs the VCR while she looks with the fundraiser at the door. I deal with mechanics and repairmen while she deals with salesclerks and waiters. I help Lindsey with her school work; she with her school friends.

~And the fever...getting higher.~

I've lost track of the conversation. "What do you mean?" I ask him.

~Desire, desire...~

"You know, no feelings. No emotion."

~Burning, burning.~

"You're not much of a Trekkie, are you?"

~She's the dollars, she's my protection. Yeah she's a promise in the year of election.~

"Nah, that's Archie."

~Oh sister, I can't let you go...~

I decide not to get into a discussion over the nuances in the difference between controlling your emotions and not having any. That's just something I can't verbalize at the moment. Not when she's smiling at me as she dries the mug.

~Like a preacher stealing hearts at a traveling show.~

Not when she's seducing me with her look...

~For love or money money money money money money~

... enticing by the simple act of breathing.

~money money money money money~

I used to want to be emotionless, to not feel.

~And the fever, getting higher~

But I can't imagine not wanting to feel this. I can't imagine not needing this.

~Desire~

"I'm going to walk Catherine to her car." I stand and fold over the magazine and hand it to Greg.

~Desire~

"Can I watch?"

~Desire~

I yank the magazine back and swat him across the head. "Down boy."

~Desire~

"I'll page you when the results come," he says, stressing the final word so much that I swat him again as she leaves the room.

~Desire~

She and I aren't equal. And when we dance, she leads.

~Desire~

And, to paraphrase U2 some more, I will always follow.

END

Next: Distraction.
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