The Disclosurer
Part 4 of the Diurnal Dreaming Series.
by maven
STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Characters owned by CBS Television, Jerry Bruckheimer and a few other production and distribution companies.
RATINGS DISCLAIMER: PG Rating. Catherine/Sara. Just two or three people talking. A few bad words.
CONTINUITY DISCLAIMER: Season Five spoilers and setting. No real case specific spoilers.
CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE: This is the answer to Femvamp's snowbound challenge where Catherine is to fall back on her coke habit and Sara is to find out. Couldn't quite do that.
RESEARCH DISCLAIMER: I watch the show, I read an article in the Toronto Star and this website http://members.aol.com/remiped/csi-news-realcsi.htm. That's about it.
STORY SPECIFIC NOTES: I have a thing for In N Out (despite never having eaten in one) and they usually turn up in any story set in that neck of the woods. There are four in Las Vegas.
FEEDBACK, COMMENTS AND FLAMES: Email at maven369@sympatico.ca
I ease awake.
At first I think I'm dreaming, not waking. It's been so long since sleep naturally ended rather than being abruptly terminated by either an alarm or nightmare. So I try to hold onto it as long as possible, snuggle under the blanket, eyes closed and just let my body and mind synch.
"Container for holding water."
"Jug, pitcher, ummm, urn, ummm, oh, carafe."
I wonder idly what weird ass radio station I'm listening to and tried to reconstruct the events between Catherine dropping me off at the lab and how that would include me turning on a radio. I'm coming up blank.
"I can't think of anymore," the second voice says.
"Me either," agrees the first voice.
"Decanter," I mutter and stretch a little.
There's twin giggles from my left and left rear and my eyes fly open. "What the f--"
"Language!"
"--froot loops is going on."
"Afternoon, sleepyhead," Catherine says from the driver's seat.
"Hi, Sara. Wanna play? Mom, give her a word."
"Let her wake up and get her bearings, Lindsey."
I get my bearings. I'm in Catherine's car, Lindsey's in the back seat and I'm using Catherine's jacket as a blanket. We're driving, in the 'burbs from the looks of things, and my neck is starting to let me know that's it's a bit annoyed with me.
"What time is it?"
"Just after three," Catherine tells me.
"Shit! I'm late for work!," I say, jerking forward so suddenly that the seatbelt catches.
"Calm down, Sara," Catherine says, hand briefly touching my knee. She then holds her hand, palm up toward the back seat. "Gimme."
There's a sigh and Lindsey's hand comes down in some weird sideways 'high five' onto her mother's. "Fine. Dishes for two nights without arguing."
"Do I want to know?" I ask.
"Mom said you'd have forgotten you had your day offs now and think you were late for work. I said no one could forget it was Saturday morning. Even though it's Wednesday afternoon. So maybe having your weekend move around so much makes it hard to keep track."
"Yeah, well, I was thinking of going in and catching-" I'm interrupted by huge groan from the back seat. "What?"
"Fine. Five days dishes," grumps Lindsey. "Not fair."
"You bet against the Mommy Power, Linds," Catherine says with mockingly sad voice. "Never bet against the mommy power."
I shake my head. "Have you two bet on everything I'm going to say?"
There are more giggles from the back seat and Catherine smiles. "No. First two were easy. Part of Mommy Power is knowing when not to bet."
"Good. Where are we and how did we get here?"
"We're on Sahara about two minutes from the In N Out. You fell asleep and I, umm-"
"Abducted, kidnapped, stole, ummm, that's it," says Lindsey from the back.
"Let you sleep," Catherine continues.
"For five hours?" I say in amazement.
"Pretty much," Catherine says. "I didn't have the heart to wake you up."
"For five hours?"
"I had my laptop and finished up some work. Kinda nice, like working outside. And you were still sleeping when it was time to pick up Lindsey so I just--"
"Kidnapped me, " I say.
"Let you sleep," Catherine corrected.
"For five hours. I must have been really knocked out."
"You seemed to be. Feeling okay?"
I think it over. "Yeah," I say, somewhat surprised. "Bit stiff from sleeping sitting up but--"
I realize I'm about to admit that the best sleep I've had in over a year was sitting up in a car in broad daylight. Which sounds fairly pathetic so I just let myself trail off. No one seems to notice.
"Okay, here we are," Catherine says, pulling into a parking spot and then reaching into the back seat for her purse. "The usual, Lindsey? Anything for you Sara?”
“No. I’m fine,” I say. “Thanks.”
When she’s gone I ease my head from shoulder to shoulder, then back and forth.
"Bet your neck hurts," Lindsey says.
"Little stiff," I admit.
"Mom use to have a special pillow for me, so I could sleep and not get a sore neck. You should use it next time."
I'm bewildered to think that there'd be a next time. "Used to?"
"Yeah," she says, sliding across the backseat until she's behind me. "I can't sleep in the car anymore. Not since, well, since Daddy."
There doesn't seem much to say to that. "Oh."
"I use to," she says, reaching around the headrest and massaging my shoulders. Being a kid her hands aren't that strong so it's more a shoulder rub but the contact and the warmth feels good. "Mom said she couldn't drive to the corner store without me falling asleep. But now…"
"Now you have to see where you are all the time?" I guess.
"Yeah."
I try to think of a way to phrase my question. "Did you talk with someone? A doctor, about what happened?"
Her little thumbs find some knot and burrow it out. "Dr. Kate. She works for my mom's work. I talked to her. She's nice. She said I could call her anytime I wanted."
"That's good. When something like that happens its good to talk about it then, not let things settle and become habit."
The hands still. "Did your Daddy die? Did someone kill him?"
I'm not sure how she adds A and B and gets four. Her words are like a blow to my solar plexus and I have to take two breaths before my voice works. "Yeah, Lindsey. Guess we have that in common."
"Is that why you tried so hard? To catch the guy that hurt Daddy?"
"I try to always do my best. But I guess maybe I tried extra hard for you," I say.
"Can this be our secret? Your mom's still mad at me because I couldn't punish the bad guy enough."
"No," she says promptly. "Mom and I don't have secrets. It's our deal."
I know not to mess with Catherine's deals. "How about it's not a secret but it's not gossip. You know what I mean?"
Her brow furrows. "Yeah. If she asks or I think she needs to know. That's in the deal."
"Thanks Lindsey."
Her hand squeezes my shoulder. "If you ever need to talk about it, Sara. With someone who's Daddy died too. You can talk to me."
My eyes sting and I’m glad for the glasses. "Thanks Lindsey. Same here."
The hands disappear and a tissue flutters in front of my face. "Blow," she orders in an amazing mimicry of Catherine's tone. I discover it's hard to blow your nose while laughing but manage. "Dr. Kate says crying is normal. Even weeks and weeks later and even if there doesn't seem to be a reason."
"Dr. Kate sounds smart. Wish I had her to talk to."
"'Duh. You do. She works for mom's work so she works for your work. She says I can talk to Mom about it but I don't think that always helps. Did that help you? Talking with your mom?"
My gut takes another blow. "No," I whisper. "She wasn't around after."
A squashed tissue box lands on my lap and two arms snake around the headrest and my neck, squeezing so tight I'm afraid she's going to choke me. "I'm sorry, Sara."
"Thank you."
"Here she comes. I'll distract her while you blow again."
I wipe my eyes and face while Lindsey tries to convince Catherine that putting the take-out bags into the trash should count as one of her five days of dishes. By the time they reach a compromise I've regained control.
"Here you go,” she says, handing me a bag. “They officially think I'm insane in there."
“But--"
“Just say thank you, Sara,” Lindsey suggests from the back seat. “She’s in Mom mode.”
"Thank you,” I say as I open the bag and find a fully loaded burger without the patty.
"In case the meat thing is just something you do at work to jerk Gil's chain I had them wrap the burger separately," she adds.
This time I have to clear my throat before saying thank you. She looks at me, as if there’s more she wants to say but just shrugs. “I’ll drop you off at the lab.”
“Actually,” I say. “Can you just drop me off at home?”
“What about your car?”
“Maybe if it’s not handy I won’t go in. I can take transit or a cab on Friday.”
“Are you sure? Do you need to stop at the store or--"
“No, I’ll be fine,” I say sharply.
“Mom,” Lindsey says, “you’re using Mom Voice on Sara and it’s freaking me out.”
“Me too,” I mutter. Catherine shoots me a sharp look. “Please?”
I’m not sure what I’m asking for but the next time she spares me a glance she looks more thoughtful than pissed and the rest of the drive passes in silence except for a few directions to get to my place.
“Thanks for the lift. And the car seat for five hours. And the burger.”
“No problem,” Catherine says.
“See you later, Lindsey.”
“Bye Sara. Remember, if you need to talk,” Lindsey says, hanging on the seat back between us.
“I’ll remember.”
Catherine looks like she wants to ask but doesn’t. “See you Friday.”
“Yeah. Thanks again,” I say as I open the door.
"Hey, Sara,” Catherine says and I turn back. “That thing about you that would make me feel uncomfortable unless you were teasing?"
"Yeah?" I say, very aware that Lindsey's watching us like a tennis match, head swiveling from Catherine to me, eyes wide.
"I could only tease you for the same reason."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"I'm not sure I understand but can I talk to you about it later?"
"That would be good," Catherine agrees while Lindsey moans an, "Unfair."
I make it out of the car with a last goodbye and thank you. Lindsey waves out the back window so I stick around, standing on the sidewalk, waving back and wondering what the hell just happened.
END
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