RATING: PG/PG13. Just two people talking. A few bad words.

CONTINUITY and SPOILERS: This is an Alternative Universe as it’s a blend of the Birds of Prey television show and a variety of DC comic books, particularity The Killing Joke and the Batman titles between 1983 and 1991. There will be spoilers for all 13 episodes of the series once I’ve seen them all.

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE: BG wrote this BoP story called Landslide with a short interaction between Commissioner Gordon and Helena. My imagination just ran with it. Warped and Nik suggested a sequel.

STORY SPECIFIC NOTES: None.

FEEDBACK, COMMENTS AND FLAMES: Email at maven369@sympatico.ca

Helena was showing off.

A sprained ankle the week previous had resulted in a lecture from Barbara and a ‘back to basics’ training routine. Gymnastic equipment had been broken out of storage and assembled around the weight machines and equipment racks. Helena had grumbled but complied, spending extra hours in the room both alone and with Barbara coaching.

Dinah hoped it was coaching and blushed when other possibilities of the two being locked in a room with a padded floor occurred to her.

“Kid! You look like a tomato,” Helena said, having paused in her routine, standing somehow on the lower of the uneven bars as if she were on the floor.

“Please don’t ask and please don’t touch me for about an hour, okay?” Dinah begged.

“Deal. You want the room?”

“No thanks. I was just watching. You’re good.”

Helena snorted, gave a bounce and launched herself at the upper bar. She swung around it twice, body fully extended before releasing, spinning upwards in a somersaulting. With an almost lazy motion she reached out, grabbing the lower bar and swinging one handed to the upper where she hung upside down, feet on either side of her hands.

“Nah. I’m strong. I’ve good reflexes. I’m not afraid of heights or falling. But I’m not good,” Helena said, swaying back and forth and building up momentum until suddenly she was in a one handed handstand, her body making an X for balance. “Good balance too. Barbara, Barbara was good.”

“Oh,” Dinah said, not sure what else to say.

“She was the best in the club but the uneven bars were her speciality. They had to stop tournaments when she did that event, no one was watching the others. She’d have this look of intense concentration and focus. It was incredibly sexy,” Helena said, causing Dinah’s blush to return. Dropping from her stance Helena slowly began a routine, as if feeling it out from memory. “I begged mom to let me join the club. Swore I’d be careful and not too competitive and that I’d come in third place so people wouldn’t know about me.”

“Did she let you?”

“Eventually. She made me take novice for a year to prove myself. You know, ribbon and ball and a balance beam you could drive a truck down and God, I was bored out of my mind,” Helena said, pausing again at the top of the bars. “That, what I just did, got her accepted for a try out for the National Team.”

“What happened?”

“You know. Fate. Destiny. Shit,” Helena said in disgust. She crouched and sprang hitting the vault in a handspring and then grabbing onto the suspended rings. Killing the momentum with a tight pike and brute strength. “She retired from competition. Said she had to concentrate on school, on university. She still was on the club team but, I dunno, it was like she didn’t have to prove herself anymore and just gave up.”

“Why?”

“The guys have all the fun events, you know?” Helena said. She raised herself and then let her arms extend until her shoulders were even with the rings. “After class she’d let us play on their apparatus. God, that sounds dirty. Anyway, I dunno why she quit. She would have made the team; she’d beaten most of the team already. Maybe the invite was enough.”

“Or?” Dinah asked, when Helena fell silent, still holding her position on the rings.

“Or maybe a fucking gold medal didn’t compare to putting some guy in a latex suit into jail,” Helena muttered.

“Oh.”

“You think what if, you know?”

“Like what if you hadn’t sprained your ankle on that jump?”

“Actually, I sprained the ankle on the bike taking a corner. The jump was just an excuse.”

“But why?”

“Hell, this is fun,” Helena said. “I love playing on these things. And I for sure rather spend an hour in here than have her ground me.”

"She’d ground you?” Dinah asked, tone showing her doubt.

“Well, there’s grounding like what happens when you’re home late and you can’t go out for a week,” Helena said, slowly pushing her body back up into a handstand.

“I can’t see her doing that to you.”

“And there’s grounding where you do something stupid and she feels the need to interrupt make-out time to explain why it was stupid. God, you’re blushing again right up to your virgin ears,” Helena said.

“What makes you think they’re virgin,” Dinah grumped. Helena startled, her right hand relaxing so that she swung with awkward grace until she was dangling one handed.

“Dinah Lance,” Helena scolded. “That was mean.”

"You started it," Dinah pointed out.

"Sorry, kid. Just burning off some frustration," Helena said, taking advantage of her position to begin some one armed chin ups. Showing off again, Dinah decided.

"Don't worry. You'll be back on patrol tomorrow."

Helena glared at her over the bar. "Not that kind of frustration."

"Oh? Oh. Oh!"

"Oh."

"So you and her aren't getting it on when you're locked in here," Dinah asked, shock over riding her self-preservation.

"What? Fuck! Ah!"

"You okay?"

"Why, yes thank you. I meant to fall off the high bar and land flat on my ass."

"I'm sorry. Is there something I can do?"

"About my frustration?" Helena growled.

"Yeah. No!" Dinah yelped. "I mean, do you need a hand up? Are you hurt?"

"Only my ego. My reputation is taking a beating on all fronts. Can't ride a motorcycle without putting it down on the peg. Can't do a simple chin up. Can't figure out a way to get from necking on the couch and into her bed. What the hell happened to me?"

"Well, I distracted when you were doing the chin up."

"True."

"Can't help you with the motorcycle though."

"Didn't think so."

"Helena," Dinah said after a few minutes of quiet, "I don't want you to think that I think you're a slut or anything..."

"Well, good."

"But, um, if you love her and she loves you and you're both adults I'm not sure what the problem is."

Helena raised her head to regard Dinah. "I'm really good at casual, you know. I know how to do causal. I'll figure it out. Don't worry. The problem isn't seducing Barbara. The problem is not seducing her."

"Oh."

"That's so stupid."

"What?"

"Do you know what the worst thing Wade ever said to Barbara was?"

Helena raised her head to stare at Dinah again. "You need to join the debating club. Your conversations jump around too much."

"It was at the memorial service at the school. I touched her shoulder, you know, to comfort. He told her that he wanted to take care of her."

"Yeah, she mentioned it to me at the time."

"If it were me? I'd want you to seduce me. Sweep me off my feet," Dinah said. ""Why did you get her that motorcycle?"

"For her to ride," Helena said, words slow as if explaining to a child.

"She's got the Hummer."

"Yeah, but when she's on the bike there's no chair. The hummer has all the controls and stuff. Well, so does the bike but it's easier to forget."

"That's what she wants. You tip-toeing around, trying to be something you're not, is the Hummer. Go be the motorcycle."

"That makes absolutely no sense while making perfect sense."

"It's a gift."

"What do you mean by being something I'm not?"

Dinah swallowed, trying very hard to pick the correct words. "You can do the romance thing. You proved that with the weekend. But, frankly, Helena, you're all kick ass, take names and let's get sweaty."

Helena grinned. "You made yourself blush."

"Yeah. Well, the disadvantage of being blonde. Now go."

"Be the motorcycle," Helena said, rolling smoothly to her feet.

"Be the motorcycle," Dinah agreed.

"Vroom vroom," Helena added, smiling and pantomiming racing the throttle.

"Vroom vroom. I'm just going to sneak out to the mall for a few hours."

"Good idea. Thanks kid."

"You would have figured it out," Dinah said, watching Helena as she left the training room and headed toward the Delphi and Barbara. Making sure she was safely out of earshot.

"Eventually," she muttered.

END

Next: The More Things Change

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