Roller-coaster Swing

Victoria


Grandpa finally visited Victoria on Monday 23rd July.
I asked him how my dog "Maggedoy" was.
He replied: "I had to have him put to sleep a few weeks ago!
He went crazy and was barking the whole night.
I could not sleep for several nights!"

So now, Victoria's heart is okay.

But mine is broken! For my dog, that is.

You asked me why I did not enquire about him the past months. How could I ask about him, when you refused to speak to me?

How could you be so mean?

Remember 10 years ago, when Tracey's dog was sick, and she pleaded with you to take him to the Vet and you just said: "NO!" and he had to be put to sleep the next day?

Do you remember in 1983, when you and Carrie took Tracey's little ginger kitten and drove out of town and dumped him near a farm? because you did not want him in your house?

Do you remember in 1985 when Judy (Allan's wife) brought me a puppy that she promised me long before I met you, that you would not allow it in your house and said: "Only what I want is important! If I want a lion, I will have a lion. If you want a dog or cat, you must ask my permission, and if I say no then it is no? I said if that was the case, we have to say goodbye right now! You realized that you better back off - and said you were only joking. I learnt to my sorrow over the years that you were not joking at all!!

That's three dogs and a cat - that you are going to have to answer to God for one day! and the kittens you drowned in Germany. God does not forget!

Since you decided to play God, Judge & Jury all by yourself, and would not give me a chance to speak - I have to "speak" here and hope that one of your daughters will read it and tell you about it. I can just imagine the stories you told them. You chose to believe a stupid story that your "Newfie Neighbour" told you - and you believed her. You hardly know her! You have known me for nearly 20 years, and you chose to believe her - and confront me on the phone? You are such a COWARD!! The way you wrote to my sons - they thought that for sure you must have caught me in bed with another man - for that is the only way either of them would abandon a wife that they swore, in front of God, to love and to cherish till death do them part.

So I had to tell them the story, and it is only fair that your daughters should hear my side of the story too. It started the day I arrived back from Cape Town. You greeted me like I had been away for 2 days instead of 2 months. There was nothing to make me feel welcome or at home - instead I walked into a living room - with very dirty carpets, without a diningroom table or chairs, no card or flower to say: "Welcome home!" and you telling me you decided to give it (diningroom table) to Carrie.

Then the next morning, you told me that "my routine is to go skating on a Tuesday." and on my way home I will pick up "Toonies chicken" for supper. For 2 months - I had been treated like the Queen of Sheba - dined and wined and treated with respect. What a rude awakening! Then the evening "It is my routine to watch these shows." Finally at 11 o'clock you finally came to talk to me - Looking up at the ceiling and every where else, but make eye contact with me. I wondered what you were hiding or up to!

The next day you went skating again, and then watched TV the whole night again. I found the letter I wrote to you that night, amongst the things you brought from my night table. Here it is:

WHAT I HAVE BEEN HEARING SINCE I ARRIVED HERE.

1. I'm a bachelor so what do I need a kitchen table for?

2. I don't like the big table and chairs in the living room.

3. I like to change things. I like it my way.

4. My routine is to do this, that and the other!

I reminded you that my routine for the past two months were very, very different (and wonderful) too!

WHAT I WOULD HAVE LIKED.

1. A little emotion in the hug at the Airport.

2. A little passion in a kiss instead of a peck.

3. To hear just one "I missed you."

4. To hear just one "I love you."

5. Some flowers or a little plant.

6. A little note saying "welcome back."

7. Some AFFECTION.

8. Some hugs and kisses during the day.

9. Some questions about my holiday.

10. Some time with you.

HOW DO I FEEL?

1. Not good. Not happy to be in St Catharines.

2. Not really welcome.

3. Like I am a nuisance - upsetting your routine.

4. Like this is your house and not our home.

5. Like I have no say or choices here in your house.

6. Only what you want is important.

7. Like crying.

8. Like an unwanted stranger.

9. like phoning Tracey to come and fetch me, right now!

10. Like going home to Toronto to speak to people that love me and are happy to have me back.

I gave it (the letter) to you. You read it and then laughed and all you said was: "Ask Judy, then you will know what nonsense you are talking!"

You cannot say that I am distorting the facts - or making myself the victim and you the bad guy. (as you usually claim) The letter is still here.

To be continued - a few years down the line, I'm sure. THE CONTINUATION - JULY 2004

VICTORIA NOW.

Everything has changed - and nothing has changed. You are still 47 years old. I only now see the similarity between the two occasions. I came to Toronto in April. You phone with some bullshit. First Marlene and now 2nd Mortgage. You saw me a few days before. Why did you not mention it then? BECAUSE YOU ARE A COWARD, AND NOT AN HONORABLE MAN! This is too similar to be a co-incidence. Carl(your evil twin) planned it very cleverly!

Also, I had not made up my mind yet when I came back from Capetown. But the first thing I saw when I entered the house, was the big fat wedding photo. I knew that I could NOT LIVE with that constant reminder of your cowardice. You said in one of your whining letters to Germany, that you prefer having your house all to yourself. So now you do. "Forgive those who betray you - and let God whack them!"