NIR and Will Lemega have been working around the clock on their new project, Project Ass for Us. It all started after the failure of Project Theory. Will and Ricky both realized that getting ass is the key to happiness, and that they both needed new images. Frederickson based his new image off Dylan Mckay, A recovering alcoholic who is mysterious yet cool, and has the "I don't give a shit what you think" attitude. Lemega chose the Brandon Image. He is cool, whitty and smooth, and yet caring, kind and responsible. These new images plus a complicated plan of seduction will help the boys get some much needed ass. Rick created a list of women and rated them, with the help of Will the two men narrowed it down to 7 girls. The next step in the process is to begin the social interaction. Lemega luckily already has a girl picked out. Tommorow he plans to test out his new image and break the ice. All of us here at Matty Golf wish Will and Ricky a wonderful journey to the magical land of ass.
I swear infront of God and the Matty Golf Counsil that the NIR, or New Image Ricky, will change his evil drinking ways. Now I am sure some Matty Golfers are disapointed, and some think it is bullshit, but to show my determanation I will swear on ass(not like I get it anyway) but thats not the point! If I do not fullfill NIR requirements by New Years, then I do not deserve to get it. Some of the factors leading to the creation of NIR are 1.) Girls think I am absolute trash(which is lower than white trash) 2.) Alcohol causes me to dance with fat Mexicans. 3.) In a recent poll, 5 out of 5 people named me as drunk of the year-----1 of whom doesnt even know me. 4.) DRUNK EMAILS ARE NOT COOL. 5.) And last, NIR is sweet, sensitive and caring-----Alcohol goes against the very principles I stand for. Now does this mean I will never drink again???? HELLS NO!!!! I am still Irish and I need to keep my blood flowing with alcohol. NIR will drink when: 1.) Everyone else is too drunk to notice I am. 2.) The BBM's house 3.) While driving jk. 5.) When I need alcohol to hook up with a girl not otherwise up to my sober standwards. 5.) Any other time that is unavoidable. I would like to thank Matty Golf for all it has done for me. To my brothers in Matty Golf, I am not leaving, just takng a break, and we will all be together again soo enough!!
