| Pros and Cons of Marrying a Mutant Con: (in general) If you marry an X-character, somewhere, sooner or later, you'll end up related to a Summers. APOCALYPSE: Pro: Has houses all over the world, no lack of vacation destinations. Con: Genetically enhanced flunkeys always coming over and trash the place. AVALANCHE: Pro: The earth actually _does_ move. Con: So does the roof. Generally straight down. BEAST: Pro: You'll have long, interesting discussions... Con: ...but you'll need a thesaurus to understand them CABLE: Pro: Big, manly man with Eastwood-like features, ALONG with the access to a utopian Applecrust future, and the whole savior of mutant- and human-kind thing. Con: That whole savior of human/mutant kind thing comes with a lifelong obsession against a genentically superior being that can't seem to simply die, and the whole confusion when Stryfe comes over for dinner. COLOSSUS: Pro: Handy place to keep fridge magnets. Con: Tends to punch people in back at random. Pro: Poster-boy for the X-Men, love that accent. Con: Short temper, obsessed with some other Jewish girl, overly concerned over his little sister, hard steel just may be a #LITTLE# hard to manage... CYCLOPS: Pro: Chopping firewood is no problem Con: You may suddenly find yourself getting eleven new in-laws. Don't forget that he may leave you at anytime if Jean came back - due to the fact Jean would have to die or leave him first to marry him - why anyone would marry a stick-in-the mud is beyond me Pro: Competent leader and icon of how-to-be-a-good-mutant. Con: Pompous and self-absorbed leader and constant nag of how-to-be-a-good-mutant. And speaking of in-laws (the Cable/Stryfe confusion thing again)... GAMBIT: Pro: Umm... give me a minute here... Con: Spouses tend to die. Repeatedly. Pro: Nothing. Con: Everything. --Sorry; I apologize in advance, rather than get my ass soundly kicked... 8( -- Pro: Betcha this guy can get you to where it's AT during Mardi Gras, not to mention he doesn't NEED to head south for illegal fireworks for the 4th of July Con: Well... he's Gambit! JEAN GREY: Pro: Telekinesis has so many useful domestic applications. Con: Waking up every so often to find her dead, then three weeks later discovering that no, it was actually the clone of her future self from an alternate timeline, possessed by a cosmic entity, and that you were never married at all. HAVOK: Pro: Stuck jar lids are never a problem. Con: Every other week he gets mind-controlled by someone new. ICEMAN: Pro: Broken refrigerators won't be a problem Pro: Bobby the Ice boy has a potential career in specialty film. Pro: 9-1/2 Weeks. 'Nuff said. Con: The bit-of-ice-in-the-bed-joke gets old real quick Con: Often seems a little...frigid. *THWAP* JUBILEE : Pro: Makes for exciting conversation... Con: But won't shut up, and "uncle" likes to play with sharp objects (SCHLIKT). LONGSHOT: Pro: Imagine the kick-butt trips you could take to Atlantic City should he visit Earth. Just tell him the money will be used for a VERY good cause. Con: Well, if he finds out that the cause is your wardrobe he'll start losing. MAGGOTT: Pro: Never need to take out the trash. Con: Eeny and Meany leave slime trails all over the place. MAGNETO: Pro: *ahem* Attractive personality. Repeated de-agings keep him with a youthful appearance. Con: Political activism can be a real problem. MARROW: Pro: No worries getting rid of pesky door-to-door-sentinels, I mean salesmen. Con: Need sutures after night in bed. NIGHTCRAWLER: Pro: Tail a help in doing dishes Con: Hair clogs the shower drain Pro: Teleportation, wall-crawling, acrobatics, has its romantic possibilities -- plus, he's a romantic that could cook. Con: Self-esteem problems can lead to drastic changes: suddenly wearing swords, changing a costume, getting a bad haircut and making it worse with a goatee... PHOENIX: Pro: Everything. Con: Dead. POLARIS: Pro: MRIs at home, for free. Con: Tends to erase entire hard drives _and_ your cassette collection every time you have an argument. PSYLOCKE: Pro: Come on! Look at her! Con: That telepathy thing... "Were you looking at her?" "No, honey! Really!" ZAP! (psychic knife filleting ensues) QUICKSILVER: Pro: When you ask him to run down to the store for a gallon of milk, he's back before you finish the sentence. Con: Gets bad friction burn at red light. SHADOWCAT: Pro: Brains, looks, and a sense of humor -- what more could someone ask for? Con: Ex-boyfriends' rather short tempers, combined with rather powerful powers, may culminate in rather nasty implications. Con: No substance... Pro: Everything. Con: Might accidentally phase you into the bed. *Will* phase you into something if angry. SINISTER: Pro: Able to send clones out to do menial chores, etc. Con: Always fighting over makeup STORM: Pro: Never have to worry about weather when going on vacation ever again. Heck, never worry about weather again ... except... Con: Try sneaking out of chores to play golf on a beautiful Sunday afternoon... ooops... *CRACK* you will clean the basement NOW! WOLFSBANE: Pro: Better than a blanket on a cold winter's night. Con: Shedding. Also, the Mother-In-Law from Scotland. WOLVERINE: Pro: Claws come in handy in the kitchen Con: Let's face it: get involved with Logan, you die. Fact of life. Pro: He's the best there is at what he does. Con: What he does isn't very nice. Pro: Ever had trouble scratching that hard-to-reach spot on your back? Well, Logan's your man! Con: On the other hand, the lover's "scratch-marks" may run a little too deep to one's tastes... Pro: Hey, the guy slices, he dices, he minces - your cutting needs are at an end. Not to mention he'll not only protect you in a street brawl Con: You know, it would not be a good idea to ask this guy to scratch your back for you, plus the hair all over the house would be a pain. |