Street Trash

Where should I begin on this aptly-named piece of celluloid? Let's start at the beginning...Rob-Dogg was in Connecticut (where I live) to take a police test. It apparently involved things such as demonstrating how well you can swing a nightstick, how many racial profilings you can make in a day, and other usual police activities. On the eve of his test (which is the night before, for my Southern readers), R-D and I decided to visit the local video store in my town, Media Wave. It's a pretty cool place, with good prices and a nice horror selection, as opposed to the lily-white and bland choices at Shitbuster Video.

Where was I? Oh yeah, we went to Media Wave and checked out their horror section for something fun. But for some inexplicable reason, we got this pile of dog puke.

This movie was just a stupid boring putrid non-sensical moronic mind-bleeding piece of garbage. It has no point, nor even a reason to exist. The box proclaims it as funnier than The Toxic Avenger, which is one of my all-time favorites (not to mention the fact that I'm in part IV, which should be released to theaters very soon -- I'll let you know where you can spot me in that flick). If anyone should be sued for false advertising, it should be the person who claims that Reese's Puffs are actually cereal. If anyone should be beaten up for false advertising, it should be the asshole who put this movie out.

It's not even remotely funny. Or gory. Or scary. Or in English. Ok, it's in English, but that doesn't make it any less incomprehensible. Here's the plot: some guy whose name is entirely unimportant finds a case of Viper liquor behind an old wall in his liquor store. He sells a bottle of the liquor to a homeless guy, who, upon drinking said liquor, sits on a toilet in an abandoned and half-demolished building and melts down the toilet. I'm not making this up, folks. It gets better from there.

There are a bunch of people who live in a junkyard, led by some guy who always has this dirty, nearly naked chick around to hump. It's here that we find the only highlight of this fucking movie. The owner of the junkyard is played by the late and (somewhat) great Pat Ryan, who played the evil mayor of Tromaville in The Toxic Avenger! Hmm...that's the second time I've mentioned that movie in this review...think Street Shit, um Trash was trying to emulate anyone...hmm? Hmmmmm?

Where was I? Oh yeah, the non-existent plot. Well, I think there was a nice kid who lived in the junkyard or something. And he liked the girl who worked for Pat Ryan's character. And they had sex in his car/tirepile/home thing. I think. Someone's penis gets blown off and the homeless fucks play football with it. Then someone gets blown up with a missile launcher.
You couldn't pay me to make up shit like that.

Basically, this movie is total garbage. Go spend your 3 bucks on a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie -- at least you'll get to hear the hilarious ways they explain his accent, i.e.: "I'm from Quebec." (Nowhere to Run) Quebec my ass. If he were from Quebec, he'd be like "I hate all other Canadians, I am from Quebec, where the language is French and the women are hairy!"

As for Street Crap or whatever that movie was, you could look for more information from the Internet Movie Database:
Street Trash but why?