HUMOROUS CHURCH BULLENTINS MISPRINTS
1. Announcement in the church bulletin
for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for
attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
2. Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will
not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the
congregation.
3. "Ladies, don't forget the
rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping
around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
4. Next Sunday is the family hayride
and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns.
Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
5. The peacemaking meeting scheduled
for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
6. The sermon this morning: "Jesus
Walks on the Water" The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"
7. Next Thursday there will be tryouts
for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
8. Barbara remains in the hospital and
needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having
trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
9. The Rector will preach his farewell
message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."
10. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
11. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who
doesn't care much about you.
12. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
13. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that
began in their school days.
14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will follow.
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
Hell?" Come early and listen to our
choir practice.
16. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several
new members and to the
deterioration of some older ones.
17. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning
to join the choir.
18. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to
cripple children.
19. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
20. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person(s) you want remembered.
21. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
22. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and
gracious hostility.
23. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M.-prayer and medication to follow.
24. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on
Friday afternoon.
25. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket
and come prepared to sin.
26. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the
Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
27. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
him their electric girdles
for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
28. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the
back door.
29. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement
Friday at 7 PM.
The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
30. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
use large double door at
the side entrance.
31. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday: "I Upped My
Pledge - Up Yours."